Breaking News!

Ladies and Gentlemen...
the sun showed up!..as i imagined it!


Let's go for ice cream
chocolate one!


second update :
on the sincerity post

alternatively
what you dislike in other
you ALSO dislike it in yourself
see?

as the other is your mirror
in THAT sense of the term lol

and not
as some weirdo
may think
bossing others around
means to be their mirror
hahaha

ignorance at its best!

is actually the negative "seeing"
which helps you most
IF you see it

for the positive
quickly fades away
or pop up on spot

... but the negative
NEVER EVER goes away
see?

why?

'cause it reminds you
to FORGIVE and LET GO

and now i got the let go
is to "dissolve" the energy
that holds you back to it

once done
indeed you are freed

otherwise by disliking
and not forgiving
you actually CHOOSE
to take part in that kind of energy

and if you take part in it
then God does not

for is either You or God
who is in charge
and not both at same time
impossible

but this seeing the defect in others
GOES AWAY
when you advance
see?

how come i know it?

for i went out
for some photo shoots
and it happened!

next post long due
for it

see ya!
kiss:x

Rain and Sun

incredible power!

a friend sent me some rain video
i took it for meditation
and while meditating

i was so vividly imagining
the rain falling
drop by drop
and could even see it
eyes wide open
in front of me

thing is that i realised not
that it impacted the weather actually!

for in dream
i said to the spirit
is weird
since days it started raining
since i started to meditate on the rain
and it rained since a week a bit everyday
and the more time pass
the more it rains
how come?

especially that it rained
when the weather forecast
planned full sun!

the spirit told me 
because you imagined it
during your meditation

still i was doubtful
that only my imagination
could affect weather of my area
so much

then, i was taking bus
and a lady said
look the weather is like we are in november
so it hit me!
yes
during meditation
i said
so much sun
too hot
i wish we were in automn
especially that i love rain pouring
when i sit warmly
with hot cup of chocolate
at home :)

in the past
i would have said
oh is magic

well is magic
but now is natural

because i understood

that the water element..
is merely obeying the shakti
see?

yes tremendous
and soooo beautiful!

first is tremendous:
because of the ""obedience""
of the water to the shakti!
that is so loving!

second tremendous stuff:
is its link between shakti and water

and as the water element
is the same element in you..
but is outside
  
it ONLY reflects
your own interior universe
that you have imagined!

and as Shakti
created the elements
it comes under Her Authority

third tremendous link:

with the human being intent
so it manisfests itself..
to give you a clue..
about how magic works

so the clue is
once you meditate
imagine what you love most
for your Shakti is there
and listening
very keenly to you
like a Mother

She is like standing
yes erect
ready to do you desire
(if the Universe allows)

for your dreams to come true
you have to wish for them

if you just say
i choose not
Shakti chooses for me

how could she?:)

She has of herself
no desire
Her Pure desire
is to serve you

provided
that you find your desire

this is why muslims
after the 5 prayers
are strongly commended to do dua (request/prayer in that sense)

for the prayer
are in truth
the raising of the shakti
which most muslims
know not

and once it arises
(and it does not in most cases
as it is not so simply)

you should make dua
meaning
you should express your desire
your prayers/requests
so that
God may fulfill them

for God says
'i love when my servant ask Me'

more precisely
God Power love to serve His creation
so that His creation may serve Him
by being true to their divinely gifted inner desire
by manifesting them
and experiencing them

kiss:x
ps : i imagined sun
:) hope it will be sunny
i NEED ice creams now
:)) hahaha

Sincerity and the Mirror

in my life
i was always independant
worked always on my own

only when my spirituality
started
i had to trust the teacher

i gave benefit of doubt
and that was hurtful

because to some degree
everyone wants you to be like them
so there is a great disrespect
of who you are

plus
it makes you lose clarity
of mind
towards the direction
that you cherish

because you discharge yourself
on the other
trusting
that it will be taken care of

and today i discovered
that what i like most
is sincerity of behavior

beause this brings openess
an open intimity in relationship
and thus this kind of space
once created
is very rich in itself

you know that
it can only thrive
and is filled with happiness

as is not about fakeness
deception
or hidding and manipulation

and thereby i understood
what we like most
we want to see it in the other

this is in this
that i wanted to make others
look like me

because what we each have
as main desire
or main quality in us
we want to see this quality

but how can we see
something that is hidden in us
and that at this point
we can only feel?

so our mind
try to project it on the outside
on the people
trying to see its trait
and its beauty

at best if we see it
we fall in love with these people
but in truth
we had already fallen in love
with our own quality

we just wanted to see it outside
to contemplate it
like ovid who fell in love
with his own image
in the lake

and the lake crying
when he died
and the nymphea
who used to run after him
asked the lake
why you cry
for you used to see it more often
than us

the lake said
i cry not for ovid
i cry
for i could see myself in him
i could see my own beauty in his eyes
when they contemplated me

when i read it
it awestruck me
for it is what i feel is true

so when we love to see
our own main spiritual quality in the other
at best we see it
and know not we are in love of our own Self

at worst
we keep searching it in the others
and when the others fail us
we blame ourselves for having trusted them
or them for not being up to the standards they claimed

truth is
we are just in love with our own Self
and each one of us has this very special quality
that he already love

the other
could be at best a mirror to us
so that we can contemplate ourselves in him
because it provides a space
for us to look into
and see our own self
without mixtures
so very pure

so all the way
is about you
so if you are lucky
to have found your mirror

then you should
not think the mirror to have this quality
that you can grab and possess
for that is an illusion

for you already have it

and as said the teacher
in the Alchemist

"mirror think not
they reflect"
[your own beauty]

Tibetan Book of the Dead - 3

listen carefully

you do not know who you are
where you have been
now you make your mind in the form of projections
which seem vivid and entirely real

now you ll see pepenetrating blue light
shining all around you

this is the essence of consciousness itself
buddha veyrochana

his wisdom is like a mirror
reflecting everything
he is the form of consicousness
in its complete purity

this wisdom is inseparatble from your own heart

but also you will see a diffuse white light
avoid it
if you follow the allure of the soft white light
you will find yourself ensnared
in the temporary pleasure of being born as a god

living lordly in the ignorance of the passage of time
yet subject to unexpected death

these are the deities  
there are the wisdom in his heart and mind
the 42 peaceful deities will emanate from his heart
and the 50 wrathful ones will emerge from his brain

they will come one by one
and then all together

the peaceful deities
are complete and unmoveable

if he cannot bear it
enter in their vast benevolence space
if he cannot let go of self centeredness and fear
these becoming will become terrifying wrathful ones

who drink the blood of his ego clinging and
crash all his delusion

if he recognises them
as expression of his own mind
they are  the unsparing face of wakefulness

the wrathful forms
emerging from dying man own brain
will appear as clear as if they real in their own right

the terror and anger he feels
are his own efforts to be compltely awake

and wander uncertainly
at landscape of his own mind
if he recognises it as his own  projection

liberation is instanteneous.

 ==> like wise
as this life is a transient life like bardo
except that we have control
and we recognise that all of this life
is the projection of our own mind
ie take full respeonsibility of it
and not blame another for being its cause
and accept all of it being our projection
with clarity of mind

then i guess we recognise is fake
and get this liberation.


the light the wisdom
spontaneous play
dances and break ripples on an empty lake


8 days after they brun the body
now i get it why
in order the death do not cling to its former body

loved ones release him from the bond sof attachement
to him
and his body offered to the fire

the tibetan woman
standing and praying 
like the muslims do
put her hands above her sahasrara
on agnya
on throat chakra
and then on the belly
joining hand as a triangle
and then prostrate 
with forehead on ground

it pretty much resumes the main chakras 
as i do on my cycles

Tibetan Book of the Dead - 2

kiddo :
what is the best path through this bardo?

is a question of waking up right now
look at your own mind
look at your mind when it is calm and still
and when is running wild

this is what buddha did
and what he taught and did


==>see ?
wonder if you or your friends or kids
ever wonder and spontaneously ask himself this question?
how will it happen?
death existence is hidden
ceremonies become ritual
no one really think about it
we think that it happens to everyone
as a bad luck
yet a natural death comes to everyone
at any time

and yet we hide cemeteries
and just make it taboo topic
if is so taboo then why we rush to secure our life?
instead of enjoying our life?

because inside we know 
we need to find a way out of instability
before instability get us
but how can we fight this instability which is out of hand since ever?

in this life time is easier
because we have control
thanks to our consciousness 
which is like a stearing wheel of a ship

but once dead
our subconsciousness with all its emotions 
and single experience we gathered
take over

no more control
we just lie there under the control
of what we "reap"
and we are facing 
our own created heaven or hell

but with current resources
of ideal circumstances such as self realisation
if we are not able to reach REAL freedom 
then when will we?

do you think a new Goddess will come back on earth
or in any other life time of yours?
what are the probablity
in a new next life
of having a freed soul to guide you to your inner self?
or to make you realise that meditation is the solution?

when you have it all now?
and don't even spontaneously wonder?

and what is the way out?

i wondered it even before even knowing
anything about spirituality
i used to look up 
and see about myself
as if i was in an egg
all sealed
and it was dark
and i wanted to "break through"

i remember those very words
i wanted to "break through"

as soon as i thought that
my friend who could read my thought
at that moment
said
"you have very advanced understanding"

was not understanding
understanding is a fruit
i have had a very strong desire

for i knew that all that 
marriage, work, and kids stuff
is just a prison
if i give myself to it
then i am done
i would be colored by the color 
of the life of the person 
i would entrust myself in
and that is so limited
how could i?

when my spirituality path was over 
once back from uk
back in France
this routine life who was 
about to become my future
i saw it
was like a death sentence to me

so far the only thing
that have made me strive with thirst for life
was to have a magic life
the one told in prophecies
the one that is filled with dreams of light
and prophets and angels
that i used to have
the one i had always heard of
read, dreamt and more or less day dreamed
the one that set the normal life apart from a routine one
and made my life worthy to be lived

the one which would make me free
from societal, familial and all kinds of boring circles
one can encounter

i have valued so much my life so far
do you really think that some new comer into my life
will say how i should live and breath?
how i should fit in? adapt and adjust?

even before meeting
anyone
i knew what i desired
though i could not name it
no one teaches
our own desires teaches us

as said in the the Alchemist book
of Paulo Coelho
"what is your Personal Legend?"

in other word,
what is your dream?

what is the alchemy?
if not the transformation of dream into reality?

the hero,
he lost it all
as soon as he  
started his dream ...

why?
because you need to give to God
so that he transforms it for you
trans-forming
makes the shift of forms
and you think you lost it all
while it is only taking another form
under your eyes
you just need to recognise it
for that you need to learn the read the signs around you
Life is the Book
the Book of life is NOW

this is an average muslim
won't get 
the Book of Life 
is being talked of 
in the Quran
and is not the quran lol
is the Book of Life

the very word "ayah" 
is used for this book of life
and ayah
means the SIGN
the pointers, the evidence 
the CLARITY of that sign
make you read the Life of yours
and know what to do next

like in the book 
the Alchemist
which refers very much
to the muslim spirituality
i.e. sufism

so living your dream
is not some romantic idea 
once exercised
is wit-nessing the loss
for a better gain.

but to be able to read
you need to know what you desire
otherwise signs are everywhere 
yet as dull as you are oblivous to your own desires

imitating others is not the way
standards of goodness are not the way
the way is your own inner desire
what Life gave you of opportunity to discover your dreams
and live them

when i realised i had done all i could
and found no way to break through
i kept having nightmares
as warning
and i could see every day myself
having more and more warning
to return to spiritual path
but how?
the warning were obvious
return or die

and is true
when i came back to France
i sat down on the edge of my bed
i felt real empty
for i realised so far i lived for that 
very desire of finding Truth

and realised that if 
i could not live for
what i desire
without my desire
i feel it is not worthy to be alive

and i desired Truth
this i felt it as hard as rock in me
very clear certainty

and then
people all around me
so well intended
profoundly well intended
but doing so much more harm than good

why?
because they thought the cure lied
in me living like them
marrying, having kids and doing a routine job

that this is the cure
to have a "normal" life

they wanted to bend me
by force of their will
thinking they are doing good to me

they wanetd me to look like them

so many times i tried to explain to them
but how could i explain something i could not even name?
i just knew is the Truth i wanted
and i wanted them to see through my eyes

but they were seeing it through their own filthers of their mind

i told htem
but look at your life
look at everyone's life
what you see?
you yourself admitted what a waste,
what a failure
what a senseless and unenjoyable routine

and those very people
in their lack of sincerity said
no i have had a very happy life

what a lie
if life was so happy
then why those sour faces?
and eternal complains?

why this worry
to settle
to stablise the unstablity around?
instead of trying to discover 
the inner pull each one of us 
have for life
that is called "treasure" in the Alchemist

because you know in truth that stability is the key

but you miss the point
is not the consciousness who needs stability
it is a passing element as earth and water and fire and ether

the only stability lies in recognising your true nature

as my uncle said to me
he said
listen to me
when he saw me seeking for certainty
he said
the only thing that never change
you know what it is?
i said
it is the change

indeed
in the change lies all the stability of the True mind

because you have to recognise its true nature

in this respect
he was one of the few who up to his limit
understood me

he knew at least i wanted Truth
but could not help more than that

yet
as time was passing
and i was getting dreams
of coming back to the path
the path of Abraham
the path of the Book
the path of Truth

yet i knew i could not
by my own effort
so i sought blessings
by any saints in disguise

it was like my time was counted

but anyone who was even a bit bless
still was unable to hear me
or see me

most of my family and friends
could only hear me
but never really listened

they could look at me
but never saw me

no one ever recognised
it was the pure desire of Truth

a few saw it
but had no way to help more
for we are all responsible of our own self

and my time was counted
but within myself
i knew either i find the way out
or is just finished for me
because if the desire is not recognised by anyone
able to help me
then life without desire cannot be lived

not because of a voluntary death
i don't want eternal damnation lol

no

because desire is the fuel of my life
without it
life would just cease to be
if there is no more fuel
the car stops

and then i got ill
i guess i was in bed at least for 2 weeks
got an illness which was impossible for me to have
especially at my age
i have been told i could have died of it
as was very bad in adulthood

as i often recall this period of time
was the worst of my life ever
each time i think the pain is gone
but is still there

because you can't know
unless you experienced it

how you can feel pain
when with all of your heart, mind, soul
with all of your life
you give up everything to seek for Truth

that you were so near of finding a path
to it
and all crumbles down

and you are back to zero
that day by day
you see all of your dreams going away
like dust

that you see
despite all of the good faces
and intent
people were just living dead

they have no real mind
they just
under pretext of doing good to you
trying to make you like them
depossessing you of your desire
and living a life devoid of life

and all of them
without exception
conspire for your good
when in truth
if they were on the other side
of the veil to see themselves
they would see they are only doing evil

because the desire of God
is the desire of Life
and killing life
is not only with guns
is when you remove the nucleus from the cell
and you say to the cell now live

but
my luck was
that Spirit saw me
and gave me back Life


by the way
one of the very first dream i had
when i entered spirituality
i was being told in dream
about al kimya

and when i woke up
i wondered what it was
and after seeking
i found al kimya
is the arabic word for alchemy
which means the science of transformation of metal into gold

transposed to a human being
is when you shift from your stone age to your golden age
when you reclaim your soul
when you untie it from the gross to the pure and refined
from the gross consciousness to the light of your true nature

for sure.


so what has been painful
was that i was there
but they were only seeing their mind in me
of how i should be
instead of how i am

then i realised
if they had seen themselves first
then only they could see me

this is how i learned 
first by experience
before even learning the words
what it was 

i can put the words only now 

such as spirit, not awakened to their own nature
living in their own mind, shadow of themselves
or that this life was like a bardo
you pass through it
while others want to make a stay in it
and there is struggle among 
who is the strongest to bend the other to its image

for this is why 
what i dislike the most
is to say to people what they do and should not do
for if i were to do that
it means i am wanting to control them
and make them like me

which is so fake
only real is when 
the person recognises
his own pure desire within
and only then
his acting will be authentic
and benefiting 
to himself and the others

if people have some degree of honesty 
and self sincerity 
then what they discover for themselves
they discover it for the others
for they can see themselves in the other

but what can you expect from blind people?

at best you can have compassion
when you learn along the way 

but now is over
that is past
and thanks to this past
i value much more the present
and aim at always 
following my pure desire

so what matters
is the desire you are entrusted with
not what people teaches you
of how you should or not be.

you gotta choose the real
and shed off the fake.

kisses to you:x

Tibetan Book of the Dead - 1

I recommend to have a good look at this series put in video
about the Tibetan Book of dead.
This name has been coined for its smiliarity of its content to the Egyptian book of dead. 

but its real name is :
The Great Liberation upon Hearing in the Intermediate State. 

meaning, 
this book was recited to the dead 
during the 40 days period following his death
for in this weakened state
upon hearing this word
he may in this transitory place called Bardo
recognise his true nature-if lucky.

Here is an excerpt of an article :

The After death experiences on the Bardo plane.

Foreword

This book is the first English language translation of the famous Tibetan death text, The Great Liberation upon Hearing in the Intermediate State. Also known as the Bardo Thodol which means "liberation by hearing on the after death plane" (Bardo: after death plane, Thodol or Thotrol: liberation by hearing), it was originally written in the Tibetan language and is meant to be a guide for those who have died as they transition from their former life to a new destination.

The work has been traditionally attributed to Padma-Sambhava, an Indian mystic who was said to have introduced Buddhism to Tibet in the 8th century. Legend has it that while visiting Tibet, Padma-Sambhava found it necessary to conceal sanskrit works he had arranged to be written. The Tibetans of that time were not ready for the spiritual teachings contained therein, so he hid his texts in strange and remote locations, leaving them to be discovered at a later time when their spiritual message could be received by those with an open mind.
The most famous of those that discovered and revealed Padma-Sambhava's writings was Karma Lingpa who was born around 1350 CE. According to his biography, Karma Lingpa found several hidden texts on top of a mountain in Tibet when he was fifteen years old. Within those texts, he found a collection of teachings entitled The Self-Emergence of the Peaceful and Wrathful Deities from Enlightened Awareness. These teachings contained the texts of the now famous Great Liberation upon Hearing in the Bardo.
The Tibetan Book of the Dead was first published in 1927 by Oxford University Press, London. Dr. Walter Y. Evans-Wentz coined the title because of parallels he found with the writings of The Egyptian Book of the Dead. The paperback and hardcover editions of the book contain extensive notes by Evans-Wentz about the conclusions he drew from the translation which, some say, were greatly influenced by his involvement with Theosophy and neo-Vedantic Hindu views. A later edition of the book includes commentary by the renowned psychoanalyst, Dr. Carl Jung, whose insightful essay illustrates that this Tibetan text goes beyond a study of Tibetan culture and reaches into a psychology that has great relevance to the western world.

source : http://www.summum.us/mummification/tbotd/

here is an extract of the transcript i grossly did, with some of my notes,
from this video :

all the way
i felt great coolness 
the words are very true.
show the importance of recognising our true nature
and the state of the dead person, before, during and after death.

"death is from the collapse of the body physical condition until the separation of the consciousness from the body about 40 days

while the elements of earth (water, earth, fire) together support and condition our consciousness and our perception

death occurs when it is no longer the case."

"so die before you die"
is wiser. 
and is the famous saying of the prophet
of course it means not to commit suicide lol :

is to detach your soul from its identification with the consciousness (be it a beautiful or less beautiful consciouness. the beautiful one is only a respite given at best until next reincarnation; the less beautiful one is your hell).

so dying is to become free from the attachments;  "shackles and fetters" (as said by the prophet zakarya in his sermon to jewish priests (another post may be)
when attempting to explain to them
point is spirituality and not religion.

better do it while alive 
than when you actually taste physical death.
for in the latter case 
is harder.
so this is the meaning of "die before you die".

for our soul is tied down to the consciousness
so that it becomes loaded by its weight and fears
which are "real" in so much that they have been fed by the earth elements
of course they are real. 3D

and are "illusory" in so much that from spirit point of you
you can gain freedom from them, as is a higher dimension no more the 3D one.
and thus not being tied down to their limitation.

"which make us see life through filters and screens of fears and hope
and attachement of daily life.
AT THIS STATE
The Mind can be seen directly.
 
which become our new realm were the soul is lead to after death.

don't cry it confuses the dead. but help its mind beyond trouble and clear.

he turns the dead one it on his right side/channel
as the buddha at his death
to make him more peaceful
i guess he is purifying his left channel 
the channel of the pure desire
for he has his right hand on the right hemisphere of his brain
which is actually the nerve ending of the left channel
ie the one of the desire
so that he may have some respite to hear the prayers being done
for his guidance.

then read it :

do not be afraid 
the 4 great elements of your body are collapsing one after the one,
it feels you are being crushed by wind, tossed by waves

do not resist it and do not be afraid
recognise your true nature.

compassion
mind at peace
vast empty luminosity of Mind itself

earth collapses into water and water into fire  and fire into air  and air dissolve into consciousness

this very description
you will find it in the book of Imam Ali
he described the creation of the universe
in nearly exact same sentence
for the universe creation is also the human being creation
made of those very elements of the earth.

then there is experience of piercing luminosity
pure white light

the clear radiance which arises from the direct experience of one's own basic nature

now there is no darkness, no separation, no direction, no shape only bright light.
this boundless sparkling radiance is mind free from shadows of birth and death
free from boundaries of any kind

listen
now the all pervading of light engulfes you completely
all of space has dissolve into pure light

this radiance of the mind 
of all the buddhas and all the awakened ones
to recognise that is
all that is necessary

and the child ask to the teacher:

what happened to him if he recognsie not his own true nature?

well there were definitely indications that he did not recognised it
so it is as if he has fallen into a dreamless sleep

can he still hear?

no but in 3 days times
his consicousness will hear more clearly than ever before
all his senses and emotions to what he lived are intense
will seem to him he entered into a new reality
is still the reality of his own mind

because as air dissolved into consciousness 
the new one will reincarnate following what dissolved into it
during this life time 
and it is the one 
that the mind will accept
as it will be recognised as his own

and he will reap 
what he sow


and the mind


which is like a circuit 
will re-live the patterns
printed in his subconscious

and that you have accepted as reality

and make it your next life
heaven/hell degrees.

and the elements of our bodies such as 
the fire and earth acts like 
receptacles
such as clay
to receive water of life

and if you recognise not
your true Mind
then your Mind will emerge 
under the form 
(using the stored experiences 
through these elements in your subconscious)

that you can recognise
and these are your earned experiences
in this past life

and you get it back.


because you did not recognise your real nature
you wandred here
and your own mind will now arise before you in unfamiliar ways

now his body and consciousness have seprataed
and now the dead person know not if he is dead or alive
even so he can see his family crying

you are not alone living this world
everyone dies
do not indulge longer in longing and desires with this place
there is no way you can stay here

because unable to recognise the luminosity of mind itself.
his experience takes place out of  random imaginary from his former life

he sees his friend and relatives calling out him

but they can't hear his reply
death cut him off of them
and sorrow on his heart
he can see his bed but is no longer the one lying there
instead is only a lying corpse

listen
soon you will experience
intense presence of your own emotional states
as peaceful and raging life forms

do not be afraid
they cannot hurt you
you are dead
do not cling to the past
go forward

i wonder
are these tibetan optimistic 
can we?
for he who when alive could not detach himself 
when he had power and control
then how easy could be it when dead
and having lost all control?

on the other hand
the weakened and transitory
state
is also the ideal moment
to catch the change to hear 
the clarity of the words 
leading to your liberation


go forward
you are dead
do not cling to the past

though this world seem stable and solid
nothing is permanent
like water, snow and ice
life is always shifting and changing form

Kids asking his teacher,
please tell us more about the bardo

all existence is one kind of bardo or another
it means living in an atmospher of uncertainty
moving without a place to rest

so that means we are in bardo now?

==> very good movie inception illustrates it so well
especially the final cliffhanger on which the movie ends

the bardo is like in the egyptian book of death 
well described in their own symbols
or by the muslims called barzakh - intermediary existence

this is why utmostly important 
to support the dead on his way
and not say hurtful words
for he comes haunting places and houses and lives
of those who did it to him at his death time
lack of manners make it understandable
why the dead seek vengeance in a way / compensation
as it happened in one place i visited a few months ago
of a yogi haunting an ashram
he was very angry at the lack of consideration he received
by one or a few there 
who happened to insult the dead


yes we are now passing through the bardo of existence
here we want to make something lasting and secure
but no one ever accomplished this

our lifes is always in hands of death

kid :
but death is different kind of bardo?

yes when we die
it is completely out of our control
our experience is completely naked

Bratty boy!

lol i have a very very rebellious belly
hehehe
funny thing happened

after my fasting
when i was walking in the street
i felt real very light
like i did not sense the weight of my body
first time i felt so

really is like
i was walking in the air

the funny part is
my stomach
from my dreams
i understood that it was making a fuss
in the dream
i understood that it was revolting
and sending me messages of TOTAL REVOLT
AH THE BRAT!
hahaha
too funny
hey i knew not, to be honest
that the belly could be so fussy !
it has some character the bratty boy!

plus, it was
like saying
"why you punish me?..was doing so great with vibes.."

yea punish,
because i resumed eating...

*sigh*
bratty stomach
in dream it was clearly putting fire all around
ah such bratty one!

hahaha
i can't stop laughing
considering that each thing has its consciousness
and that my stomach is one of its kind!

anyway
to tame it
for i agree with it
i will resume this time fasting on water
but over 3 days this time

i can do it!

for if i can imagine it,
then i can do it!

what is most important
is to eat salt
for the more you drink water
the more it flushes the minerals out of your body
so you need to compensate with salt

and NOT table salt
but sea salt
and you smear it under your tongue
for it is where
are the blood vessels
so it will enters very DIRECTLY
into your blood stream

and drink water on top.

second major point
if no INTENSIVE meditation
is combined with fasting
then is just "fasting of the body"
as it is.

but if you combine it
with intensive meditation
which means per say "intensive"
like going out of your ways
to aim higher
then of course you will see the result

you ever saw no result when you set yourself on a project?

same with meditation
if you are honest with yourself
you know if you are just patching working your way to it
or truly are devoted to a higher vision of life.

kissi:x
ah bratty boy!
can't believe what kind of a stomach i have!
throwing tantrum 'cause unhappy!

Child world

ah the advantage of countryside
is that it feels timeless
green is very restful to the eyes

lately, i tried again
a two day fasting on water

is much easier than i thought
once in the day i felt hunger
but as i drank water
a minute later was gone

the fasting purifies the gross energy
from your ki channels
and hence your meditation is enhanced

plus i got back the habit of getting up
at 430 meditating at least half and hour
and then sleep again

hardly have i started it
the first day
when i went to sleep
it felt like a pool of water
formed itself on top of my head
ah such a nice feeling

i thanked God when the second day
was about to finish
but when third day started
i had no more the feeling or wish to eat
so easy it was

because the hardest is the first 2-3 days
after is like you become de-addicted
from food stuff

plus your body detoxifies itself
as it uses far less energy on processing the food
it can redirect it fully
to the healing of the body

this is why animals stop eating
when they get ill

during this period
i realised
the thoughts i was emitting
they were being picked up
very quickly by the kids

this is the conclusion i came too

because now i understand
as kids are very much intuitive
and natural
whatever comes to them
they reply to it

so i was thinking
if my new shoes were ok
lol
hardly i entered in the bus
that a kid in its pushchair said something

but i guess i was day dreaming
i heard it not
i happened to see the mom
and she said
my son is saying you have real nice shoes
:)))

doubt gone
thank you kid
now i know my shoes are pretty
hehehe

another day
i was walking down the street
and a dad has her kiddo facing me
i looked at her
and she started to laugh hard non stop
hahahaha
and then her whole family turned back
to look at me
hehehe
then we started to laugh
so funny it was getting

because kids
are very much sensitive to the energy
i guess they see it
so when she was laughing
i tried to imagine that i was reaching to her
with my energy
and tickling her
and as she laugh harder
i was uncaught by her family
hahaha but they laugh hard due to her contagious laughing

ah i like those moments.

finally
day next, i was at restaurant
and wondering where the bathroom may be
then a mom came with his son
he was a real lovely one
he was making faces to she
in this way i was sure that kid are a blessing to parents
as they teach them to take life less seriously
for the adults have very stucked up and close faced

and suddenly he said to her mom
you know if you want to go to bathroom
is not there
is downstair

innerly i felt so good
right at my place
because her mom had asked nothing
and innerly i had wondered where it could be
and when i heard the answer
it felt as if i am communicating
without talking
as i get answers so smoothly

so it felt like being in another world
the less i wonder about it
and let go
the better it gets
because i feel myself getting back
in that same kind of world
where i was as a child.

Religions, ceremonies...lead to experientially realise our true nature

and are nothing else by themselves.
true, as we often hear it,
religions are not God
but lead to God

lead, meaning, they should lead YOU
out of your "current ways" towards experimenting their teachings.
without its experiment, the words are dead and are a burden.

which is interesting,
as in this article it is said :
"A fitting sentence can be a stake that tethers a donkey for 10,000 aeons."
is likewise in quran also said
that this quran is a load which is carried by people on their back as donkeys do...

meaning of which is expounded in the story.

So, another good article, with a nice story
and i like the author acute way of reading weak minded readers' mind lol
especially when he says is not in the hitting of the head that the enlightement resides in this story.(cf story)



main idea that i liked :

" [religions] lay a foundation so you can experientially realize this[your true nature]."

 as religious people stop at the words :
"Words carry the mystery but they have no road. The tongue speaks without speaking."

The Boat Monk

I love the Zen story of the Boat monk. It expresses the Zen high literary style, and the beauty of the dharma.

Seems that a group of monks attained some degree of the Tao under a famous Zen teacher, Master Yao-shan. One of them was Teh-cheng and his dharma brothers were Yun-men and Tao-wu. Master Teh-cheng knew he didn't have the personality to teach a large number of people or run a monastery, so he told his brothers to send him someone of exceptional talent when they found one rather than open up a teaching center himself.

As is the rule, his job would also be to transmit the dharma to a qualified student if he could find one, but without a teaching center, he had no way to attract a student. Therefore his dharma brothers would have to send someone who had the karmic affinity with Teh-cheng for awakening. So he told them, "You know where I am staying. If you find a student of sharp potential, send him to me so that I may transmit the dharma."

Years later, it just so happened that Teh-cheng's dharma brother Tao-wu was attending a lecture by a famous monk, named Chia-shan, who already had a great following. Chia-shan knew all about the dharma and was extremely eloquent. He could respond to every question with the proper words, and yet he lacked the dharma eye...he lacked any true stage of attainment. Ask him any question and he could respond with the right words ... but without the dharma eye, everything was actually wrong because it could enlighten no one. He knew the words but did not know the real meaning -- he had not achieved it.

His case was like the intellectuals today who study the Bible, Koran, Buddhist sutras, Torah, or any such book or sets of books, know all the perfect words to use so that they sound as if they are in accord with the traditional teachings, and yet everything they say lacks any touch with True Reality. Why? Because those folks have no cultivation attainment themselves. They are dogma literalists rather than enlightened sages. So while they may be intellectually brilliant they are spiritually bereft, and cannot lead anyone to liberation.

That's the state of the world. That's 99.999999999999% of teachers and religious professionals out there.

So while attending the lecture, Master Tao-wu just kept himself quiet and concealed, but he snickered when Chia-shan answered a question correctly ... in order to attract attention. After it was over, Chia-shan respectfully approached master Tao-wu and asked what mistake he had made that his elder had done so.

Tao-wu replied, "You answered correctly, it's just that you've never been taught by a good teacher. I never explain things. If you want to learn, you must go to visit the boatman's place at the city of Hau-ting (where the Boatman Monk Teh-cheng was staying)."

Now because he really was interested in self-improvement, Chia-shan set off right away. This, in itself, shows he was of extraordinary character and not too full of himself. Chia-shan was right in theory, but did not have a real experience of the dharma, yet didn't know it. He thought he was right, but also suspected that he was wrong, that he was missing something though everything he said was correct and according to the scriptures. Amazingly, he was willing to take advice and was anxious to find the answer despite already being established and having a great reputation, so off he went.
Would you do that?

Now at the location, the dharma brother Teh-cheng had settled into a job ferrying people across a river, and had done so for several decades waiting for a good student. No one knew of his high stage of attainment. When the young monk arrived, with one look he knew that he had been cultivating and had some ability, but needed to be awakened to a true direct experience of the dharma. He needed a real, direct experience of the Tao. He knew all the right words, the sutras, the dharma and so forth, but he was clinging to all these explanations and his conceptualizations. He had become an intellectual master rather than reality master. He could not let go of them to realize no-self, no-ego, emptiness. Therefore he had not attained the Tao.

Upon meeting young master Chia-shan, who knew all the correct words but had no direct taste of reality, Teh-cheng opened up the conversation by asking, "What temple do you dwell in, oh virtuous one?"
Chia-shan answered with words that point to the Tao, though of course he did not have that stage of attainment: "I do not dwell in a temple. Dwelling is not like it."

Why did he say this? Because the original nature is not a state, and if you dwell or abide in any state it is NOT the Tao. Chia-shan was saying he understood the Tao by answering in such a way because a regular monk would simply have mentioned the name of his city or monastery.

The boatman then asked, "It is not like what?"

Chia-shan once again correctly answered the correct intellectual response, "It is not the phenomena before our eyes."

Because Chia-shan kept answering correctly, but without without possessing the true dharma experience himself, it was like someone who would respond with the right scriptural retort from the Bible ... though everything said was everything right and you could not find any fault with it, you could tell they were wrong. I'm sure you've had that experience because it is hard to explain.

A little bit disgusted at these canned responses, the Boat monk Teh-Cheng then asked, "Where did you learn all this (way of answering)?"

Chia-shan answered, "It is not something that the eyes or ears can reach," meaning it ultimately comes from the Tao. This time Chia-shan replied in such a way that you could take it as a smirk, with the hidden meaning being, "I know this and you don't? Who are you that you don't know these things?"

With that response, the Boatman monk then uttered a famous line, "A fitting sentence can be a stake that tethers a donkey for 10,000 aeons."
In other words, if you just cling to scripture, or intellectualization, or the words of this or that holy text without arriving at a genuine experience of the true meaning, if you don't experience the original nature, you will tie yourself up in ignorance (non-enlightenment) for aeons and never become free. Why? Because you cling to the intellect, in which case you are wrong. Words will not save you, scripture will not save you. Only cultivation practice and realization will save you!

How many people follow this pattern today? They quote the Torah and cling to it, all the while being correct in words, but WRONG. They cling to the Bible, reciting verses and sentences correctly, and yet they lack any attainment or any means for getting anywhere. They cling to the Koran, the Buddhist sutras, Taoist works and they are all wrong. They never fathom the meaning of the texts. They never reach enlightenment or samadhi or any genuine stage of attainment. They can talk about things all they want, but these are just intellectuals rather than spiritual leaders, people who know a lot about religious things but cannot lead you to the Tao. This is all you find today in churches, temples, mosques and monasteries. No one has the enlightenment eye, or even an inkling that it exists ... and they are even oblivious on how to get there.

"A fitting sentence can be a stake that tethers a donkey for 10,000 aeons" -- Master Teh-cheng was saying that Chia-shan was clinging to the dharma and relying on verbal tricks, and that this was stupid. It would get you absolutely nowhere on the path of true spiritual practice and striving and progress. It was just mental games, verbal tricks and memorization. REAL accomplishment comes from the cultivation practice of letting go and detaching from the realm of mentation to get to the substrate underneath it and EVERTHING.

"A fitting sentence can be a stake that tethers a donkey for 10,000 aeons" ... Chia-shan was stunned at this reply.
Zen master Teh-cheng then said, "The fishing line is hanging down a thousand feet, and the intent is deep in the pond. You're just three inches away from the hook. Why don't you say something?"
He was saying, "You've done so much meditation work your life and are so close you're ready to reach it. Why not say something expressing your original nature?"

Chia-shan was standing there, his mind emptied a bit because of the shock, and was just about to say something intellectual again when the Boat monk hit him with his oar and knocked him into the water.

Wham!

Chia-shan had just been ready to open his mouth again and say something that was in the scriptures when the Boat monk knocked the daylights out of him and he flew into the water.

As soon as Chia-shan's head popped up above the water again, the Boat monk once again shouted, "Speak! Speak!" and just as Chia-shan was about to open his mouth again, Wham! ... the Boat monk hit him again.

Now if you've had any sudden taste of emptiness where everything empties out (a religious experience), you can understand what happened next. Here's a man with a belly full of learning and it's all suddenly knocked out of him. He's been thrown into the water, he's worried for his life, and all his false thoughts have been whacked away.

That's the method the Boat monk used with Chia-shan.

Chia-shan could talk about anything in the dharma ... Consciousness only, the three Buddha bodies, skandhas, True Thusness, prajna wisdom, EVERYTHING. He understand all this but couldn't let go of it, so the Boat monk knocked him into the water to help him let go of everything he was clinging to. Even so, when asked to speak, Chia-shan was ready to spit out the dead scriptural words again, so Teh-cheng hit him again. When for the third time his head rose above the water, this time his mind had emptied out and he and become enlightened, so Chia-shan quickly nodded his head three times in quick succession to show Teh-cheng he had got it and he didn't need to be hit again.

Of course you cannot just hit someone to enlighten them. Don't think it's so easy. Chia-shan not only KNEW the dharma intellectually, but had spent his life meditating and had achieved some degree of emptiness, but just couldn't let go of his intellectualizations to see the path, to see the whole thing. He was close because of his previous attainments in meditation, but still clinging. He already had achieved a deep basis of cultivation beyond just studying, because of prolonged meditation work, and that basis is why Tao-wu sent him to the Boat monk. He was prepared....don't think someone can just whack you or slap you and you get it. Without countless years of meditation work, that would just get you a lawsuit today.

Master Teh-cheng was able to transmit the dharma only because Chia-shan had already spent years mixing practice with study. Master Teh-cheng was able, through the expedient means of whacking him, to help Master Chia-shan let go of everything and see the Path, see the Tao, realize self-enlightenment. If Master Chia-shan had not been a meditator, however, none of this would have been possible. So don't think that just studying scriptures and sutras -- of any kind -- will do it. You have to do the meditation work, open up your chi channels, chakras and so forth. You have to cultivate samadhi, but none of that is the Tao. It's just a preparation because those are all still illusory realms and false stations. They are not ultimate or supreme. They are there to help you clear out in a progressive sense, but when you reach enlightenment there are no stages -- you just let go of everything in one fell swoop. That's why it's called breaking through the conception skandha.

Upon being hit with the oar when in the water, Chia-shan GOT IT. His years of preparation and study, together with the Boatman's excellent skillful means, enabled him to let go, empty out and see the Tao. If you know the theory, that's why the story is so beautiful, so wonderful. But then, while still in the water, Chia-shan asked, "If you throw away the hook and line, what is your intent, teacher?"

In other words, Chia-shan then had doubts and asked about functioning. He was asking, "What about the methods for making an effort in the realm of existence if everything is empty... What do you do about them?"
Master Teh-cheng replied, "The fishing line hangs in the water, floating to set the meaning of existence and non-existence." In other words, don't talk of emptiness and don't talk of existence. Neither is right, and thus you don't cling to either and you can do what you want independently. You are free and liberated. Cause and effect still operates amidst phenomena, but you do not cling to them or the process. You realize the inherent fundamental emptiness of phenomena but you do not cling to it either. You are independent and free.
Master Chia-shan then said, "Words carry the mystery but they have no road. The tongue speaks without speaking." In other words, speaking is the same as non-speaking, emptiness and existence are equivalent to one another.
Master Teh-cheng was VERY happy at hearing this because then he knew Chia-shan had got it. He knew that Chia-shan had finally realized the Truth and was speaking from experience rather than from some scripture he had memorized and studied. So Teh-cheng then said, "After having fished through all these rivers [having piloted this ferry day after day for decades wanting to carry someone over to the other side], I have finally encountered a golden carp [enlightened person].

Chia-shan covered his ears at hearing this, and master Teh-shan said in response, "That's right, that's right!"

Then he told Chia-shan, "From now on you must leave no tracks where you hide yourself. But you must not hide yourself where there are no tracks."
He expressed in a high literary style many meanings: that Chia-shan must continually cultivate that state of no-thought/emptiness he had just achieved wherein there are no tracks. Furthermore, he must go somewhere where no one knew who he was, and leave his fame behind, and thus go into hiding in order to finish his cultivation. He also said that Chia-shan must not remain
clinging to emptiness either, for that was also wrong.

The Boat monk then continued, "I was with Zen master Yao-shan for 30 years and I only took away this which you have just experienced/realized. Nothing more. You have just attained it. This is the meaning of all the teachings and nothing more. It's nothing else either than experientially realizing this. In the future you should not live in towns or villages but go deep into the mountains, find one or two people to continue the teaching and do not let it be cut off."
Chia-shan was out of the water by this time, and since the dharma had been transmitted, he started off to return home. The whole thing happened just this quickly, the dharma had been passed, and there was nothing more to be done.

But for a moment Master Chia-shan doubted that was all and so he turned around, wandering if there was something else he was missing, if it all came to just this?

Upon seeing this, Zen master Teh-cheng shouted back to him, holding up an oar and saying, "Did you think there was something else?" Then he capsized the boat and disappeared under the water to show there was nothing else. You see, if you cling to all the pageantry of Tibetan Buddhism, you are wrong. It's just an expedient method created to help you REALIZE THIS. If you cling to the Torah or Bible, you are wrong. It's just to help you lay a foundation so you can experientially realize this. Nothing in the universe is absolute. The wind, the rocks, the flowers are all singing the dharma to help you awaken.

The meaning of Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Sikhism, Taoism, Confucianism, yoga, alchemy and all the religions is to realize our fundamental nature. All the ceremonies, scriptures, prayers, and practices are to enable you to experientially realize THIS. That's the purpose of all the scriptures.

What else did you think it was about? Some ceremony or special belief?
Now you finally know. Cultivate! 

source :  http://www.meditationexpert.com/zen-buddhism-tao/z_boat-monk_teh-cheng.htm

Awareness vs Consciousness

Very nice article about awareness vs consciousness

key sentence :
when the awareness touches the object it becomes consciousness.
is all the more important when you realise that in french they often switch one with the other while translating original articles, or talks.

even the word awareness happens to be translated as consciousness..

What is Consciousness vs. Awareness?

What is consciousness? Science seems perplexed when it has to address this question because it really doesn’t have an answer. But according to Buddhism, the appearance of objects in the mind is known as consciousness. You can also say that the conceptualization of objects within/as consciousness is known as “mind.” Without that content we colloquially say there is no mind.

Before the appearance of objects we still have awareness, but it is empty. Awareness when it touches objects becomes consciousness. So awareness without objects is the aprior state before consciousness and is the ground state that “supports”  consciousness. Awareness is always empty in a not-knowing state. It just shines or illuminates. That’s called effulgence, which means radiance, brightness, illumination or shining. Without touching objects, awareness just remains in its own body and shines, it be-s itself, it just is. That’s “presence” or being. That’s also self-effulgence so effulgence is the nature of awareness. It’s like a great bodyless body of not-knowing knowing. You cannot identify it as either existence or non-existence, as either real or not real because it transcends all these descriptions. It is without these two attributes because that is its purity. Awareness is an ever shining function of our real ultimate essence of being. It allows us to know and understand because it allows us to be aware of consciousness - all the moving stuff.

On the other hand, “our mind” is something more objective because “mind” means clear differentiation and understanding. “Mind” involves clear discrimination—that which discriminates the characteristics of objects. So we use the mind to understand things because mind understands the manipulation of consciousness. Mind is a pattern of consciousness which is born from awareness which is in turn a function of our original nature. At least that’s the explanation of Buddhism and Advaita Vedanta, which have had thousands of years to work out robust definitions and explanations.

In terms of the teachings of spiritual schools, consciousness isn’t yet our ultimate ground state of being because consciousness knowing isn’t our ultimate original nature; it is a looking outward to objects rather than a state resting in itself as its real essence without elaboration. We mistakenly think that knowingness or consciousness, which we colloquially term the “mind,” is our real self but it is not. It cannot be because it is inconstant and does not always stay. It's just flitting all the time. There is still something ultimate behind consciousness, there is something that transcends the oridnary mind, there is still something behind knowing and what is behind it that spiritually transcends it is ever present, never moving, always empty, shining awareness. In fact, the highest secret of the Zen school of Buddhism is that our consciousness and then even awareness are not the ultimate, fundamental “host” or “Self.” Consciousness and awareness are still a “guest,” they are still a function of the Absolute nature.

The realm of consciousness is only a projection of the original nature. It’s still a dependently existing construction, which means it depends upon other elements for its existence. It is just a function of the original nature, or God, or Self, or however you wish to word it. And because consciousness depends upon other things for its existence, it cannot be the ultimate state of reality. As to the actual  realm of the enlightened, the Buddha Manjushri said, “It is not something that can be known by consciousness, nor is it an object of the mind.”  It transcends consciousness, it is aprior. You cannot find This Ultimate One with the mind of thoughts, so how do you find It? By no-mind, no-thought, by not attaching to thoughts but letting them just be there when they are, but never attaching to them while maintaining presence.

These are deep words that science has not yet fathomed. At best psychiatry and psychology deal with the mental events of the mind, trying to put them into groups having this or that shape or meaning. Cognitive science is still puzzling how objects “out there” turn into mental events inside the brain and then consciousness, so it has not proceeded far in this direction either. In this new century, the best advice we can give neuroscience and cognitive science is to examine the ancient schools of Buddhism and Advaita Vedanta to discover what they have to say about consciousness and the many various modalities of the mind.

source : http://www.meditationexpert.com/consciousness-studies/cs_what_is_consciousness.html

EXCELLENT ARTICLE

a must read
i have been personally spammed with it at least - say 4 times a day
over the past few days - by a friend who wanted me to read it.
and yes it worths it!

lol as my fiancé said :))
i guess jesus, moses and muhammad are making hurray in their heaven,
as she finally read it, neh?;) 

anyway, is a great read

very impactful, true, and to the point
just what you need to read too

some comments on the article :

"The things you hate about others are the things you cannot see in yourself"
this means BECAUSE our own subconscious is UNABLE to see itself on such stuff
it HAS to project it onto others to see it 
and then of course up to us to correct it if we are bothered.

which lead me to comment that other part of the author i wholly disagree with,

"You don't actually dislike these parts of yourself, though, you absolutely love them."
 I disagree, for by experience lol i KNOW i love in other what i love already in myself.
and dislike in other what i have already disliked in myself and forbidden myself to do.

for if we "absolutely love" such parts,
then where is the experiential part? where is the evolution to a higher and subtler being? where is the integration and transformation of our darknesses/fear into light/love?

this being said,
enjoy the reading! is fabulously written :

Brianna Wiest Become a fan Writer, editor, professional human being.

8 Subconscious Behaviors That Are Keeping You From Having the Life You Want

Posted: 08/10/2015 8:18 am EDT Updated: 08/10/2015 8:59 am EDT

Every generation has a "monoculture" of sorts, a governing pattern or system of beliefs that people unconsciously accept as "truth." It's easy to identify the monoculture of Germany in the 1930s, or America in 1776. It's clear what people at those times, in those places, accepted to be "good" and "true" even when in reality, that was certainly not always the case.
The objectivity required to see the effects of present monoculture is very difficult to maintain (once you have so deeply accepted an idea as 'truth' it doesn't register as 'cultural' or 'subjective' anymore) ... but it's crucial. So much of our inner turmoil is simply the result of conducting a life we don't inherently agree with, because we have accepted an inner narrative of "normal" and "ideal" without ever realizing.
The fundamentals of any given monoculture tend to surround how to live your best life, how to live a better life, and what's most worth living for (nation, religion, self, etc.) and there are a number of ways in which our current system has us shooting ourselves in the feet as we try to step forward. Simply, there are a few fundamentals on happiness, decision making, instinct following and peace finding that we don't seem to understand.
So here, eight of the daily behaviors and unconscious habits that are keeping you from the life you really want.

1. You believe that creating your best possible life is a matter of deciding what you want and then going after it, but in reality, you are psychologically incapable of being able to predict what will make you happy. 

Your brain can only perceive what it's known, so when you choose what you want for the future, you're actually just re-creating a solution or an ideal of the past. Ironically, when said ideas don't come to fruition (things never look the way we think they will) you suffer, because you think you've failed, when really, you're most likely experiencing something better than you could have chosen for yourself at the time. (Moral of the story: Living in the moment isn't a lofty ideal reserved for the zen and enlightened, it's the only way to live a life that isn't infiltrated with illusions... it's the only thing your brain can actually comprehend.)

2. You extrapolate the present moment because you believe that success is somewhere you "arrive," so you are constantly trying to take a snapshot of your life and see if you can be happy yet.

You accidentally convince yourself that any given moment is your life, when in reality, it is a moment in your life. Because we're wired to believe that success is somewhere we get to - when goals are accomplished and things are completed - we're constantly measuring our present moments by how "finished" they are, how good the story sounds, how someone else would judge the summary. (If at any point you find yourself thinking: "is this all there is?" you're forgetting that everything is transitory. There is nowhere to "arrive" at. The only thing you're rushing toward is death. Accomplishing goals is not success. How much you learn and enjoy and expand in the process of doing them is.)

3. You assume that when it comes to following your "gut instincts," happiness is "good," and fear and pain is "bad."

When you consider doing something that you truly love and are invested in, you are going to feel an influx of fear and pain, mostly because it will involve being vulnerable. When it comes to making decisions, you have to know that bad feelings are not deterrents. They are indicators that you want to do something, but it scares you (which are the things most worth doing, if you ask me). Not wanting to do something would make you feel indifferent about it. Fear = interest.

4. You needlessly create problems and crises in your life because you're afraid of actually living it.

The pattern of unnecessarily creating crisis in your life is actually an avoidance technique. It distracts you from actually having to be vulnerable or held accountable or whatever it is you're afraid of. You're never upset for the reason you think you are: at the core of your desire to create a problem is simply the fear of being who you are, and living the life you want.

5. You think that to change your beliefs, you have to adopt a new line of thinking, rather than seek experiences that make that thinking self-evident.

A belief is what you know to be true because experience has made it evident to you. If you want to change your life, change your beliefs. If you want to change your beliefs, go out and have experiences that make them real to you. Not the opposite way around.

6. You think "problems" are road blocks to achieving what you want, when in reality, they are pathways.

If you haven't heard it before, Marcus Aurelius sums this up well: "The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way." Ryan Holiday explains it even more gracefully: "The obstacle is the way." Simply, running into a "problem" forces you to take action to resolve it. That action leads you down the path you had ultimately intended to go anyway, as the only "problems" in your life ultimately come down to how you resist who you are and how your life naturally unfolds.

7. You think your past defines you, and worse, you think that it is an unchangeable reality, when really, your perception of it changes as you do.

Because experience is always multi-dimensional, there are a variety of memories, experiences, feelings, "gists" you can choose to recall... and what you choose is indicative of your present state of mind. So many people get caught up in allowing the past to define them, or haunt them, simply because they have not evolved to the place of seeing how the past did not prevent them from achieving the life they want... it facilitated it (see: the obstacle is the way). This doesn't mean to disregard or gloss over painful or traumatic events, but simply to be able to recall them with acceptance and to be able to place them in the storyline of your personal evolution.

8. You try to change other people, situations and things (or you just complain/get upset about them) when anger = self-recognition.

Most negative emotional reactions are you identifying a disassociated aspect of yourself. Your "shadow selves" are the parts of you that, at some point, you were conditioned to believe were "not okay," so you suppressed them and have done everything in your power not to acknowledge them. You don't actually dislike these parts of yourself, though, you absolutely love them. So when you see somebody else displaying one of these traits, it absolutely infuriates you, not because you inherently dislike it, but because you have to fight your desire to fully integrate it into your whole consciousness. The things you love about others are the things you love about yourself. The things you hate about others are the things you cannot see in yourself.

Follow Brianna Wiest on Twitter: www.twitter.com/briannawiest

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source : http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brianna-wiest/8-subconscious-behaviors-that-are-keeping-you-from-having-the-life-you-want_b_7949578.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592