Sincerity and the Mirror

in my life
i was always independant
worked always on my own

only when my spirituality
started
i had to trust the teacher

i gave benefit of doubt
and that was hurtful

because to some degree
everyone wants you to be like them
so there is a great disrespect
of who you are

plus
it makes you lose clarity
of mind
towards the direction
that you cherish

because you discharge yourself
on the other
trusting
that it will be taken care of

and today i discovered
that what i like most
is sincerity of behavior

beause this brings openess
an open intimity in relationship
and thus this kind of space
once created
is very rich in itself

you know that
it can only thrive
and is filled with happiness

as is not about fakeness
deception
or hidding and manipulation

and thereby i understood
what we like most
we want to see it in the other

this is in this
that i wanted to make others
look like me

because what we each have
as main desire
or main quality in us
we want to see this quality

but how can we see
something that is hidden in us
and that at this point
we can only feel?

so our mind
try to project it on the outside
on the people
trying to see its trait
and its beauty

at best if we see it
we fall in love with these people
but in truth
we had already fallen in love
with our own quality

we just wanted to see it outside
to contemplate it
like ovid who fell in love
with his own image
in the lake

and the lake crying
when he died
and the nymphea
who used to run after him
asked the lake
why you cry
for you used to see it more often
than us

the lake said
i cry not for ovid
i cry
for i could see myself in him
i could see my own beauty in his eyes
when they contemplated me

when i read it
it awestruck me
for it is what i feel is true

so when we love to see
our own main spiritual quality in the other
at best we see it
and know not we are in love of our own Self

at worst
we keep searching it in the others
and when the others fail us
we blame ourselves for having trusted them
or them for not being up to the standards they claimed

truth is
we are just in love with our own Self
and each one of us has this very special quality
that he already love

the other
could be at best a mirror to us
so that we can contemplate ourselves in him
because it provides a space
for us to look into
and see our own self
without mixtures
so very pure

so all the way
is about you
so if you are lucky
to have found your mirror

then you should
not think the mirror to have this quality
that you can grab and possess
for that is an illusion

for you already have it

and as said the teacher
in the Alchemist

"mirror think not
they reflect"
[your own beauty]