Thursday 17 September 2015

it is Me, it is not me - part 2





and then
when i went back
every bits came back like a puzzle
and i realised that there were signs
but i could NOT SEE those
only once it was over
and his mask fell off
i realised but everything was already there
for me to see
but i was just blind to it

you know why?
because we choose to be blind
as i dislike very much treachery
i shoved it out of my life

but doing so
i ended up being blind to people
who are treacherous
so much that it shocks me
that such fraud
on such professional level
may exist

and this line might be shocking
to read
but one should love treachery

it does not mean
that i say woa cool let be like that
or how this should be promoted lol
i am not insane

no
to love
is to love unconditionally
it means to acknowledge its existence
and not shove it away
as if it is not part of creation

treachery and any other negative stuff
which are obviously bad are bad and remain bad
that's it

BUT
i should learn to acknowledge their existence
cause they are there
so that i may see them

this is why i repeat
this is why
i could not see the signs

how something will show itself to you
and thus protects you
if you refuse to see it
and acknowledge it?
it can't connect with you
as you refuse the connection
and its very existence

see?
if i had acknowledged the existence
of such bad stuff
like treachery etc
then i would see their signs
all pointing at them

and once i see these signs
then i could let them be
and move on

while moving on
i can save myself from much
headache and fraud
by getting caught in the very thing i reject...

second point about this love
and that one forget
is that it transforms...
this treachery
once i acknowledge its existence
i can see it
once i see it
i can let it go
and literally move on
(go out of the office
as if i had fire on my ass lol!)

and once i let it go
then that light transforms
the ugly face of treachery
which then disappears from my life

this is why Love is IN-clusive
is not EX-clusive

likewise
when people think of separation
is because of fears of something they reject
cause they find it ugly, unacceptable

of course
is ugly
of course is unacceptable

but then what after?
you are only required to acknowledge its existence
once you do
then you can move on
let it go

and LIGHT
on its own
do the rest of job for you
it transforms this very ugly thing
and this is why it is gone

cause you saved yourself
by yourself
from it

you are
you become your own savior

is so true
if the word savior exists
is because of the danger that exists
but if you hate so much the danger
that you don't want to acknowledge its existence
then
how can you use the word savior?

once when i was in uk
i remember
i was waiting at the bus stop
and i asked a question to myself
and my self answered to it
saying
the question and its answer 
both are the same coin
is just the two faces of same coin.


danger and savior
are two faces of the same coin
you can't get one without the other

and why this ?

lol
i start thinking
i had a very fruitful day

is funny
cause i got this answer i am about to write
to a question that i am asking only now
again it proves to me
all answers are given to us
but we do not see them on the spot

is only later
if we are lucky
we realise
we got the answer

so why this?
why getting that weird duality?
of danger and its savior?
well

as i was driving
i got that answer to that question
i did not even ask lol

actually
i was driving
and saw my bracelet
which was on arm


and when i saw it
i said to myself
when i bought it
i was so enthralled by its refined designed
that i connected myself to its heart
this is why it stood out from all the other stuff
in the store

and i saw in the bracelet
that it has its own heart/light
a core
and as i connected to it
and liked it
my attention is IN it

but when i saw my arm
first i saw my shirt
and as my eyesight went from the shirt
down the way to the bracelet itself
i saw for the first time
the beauty of it as a whole
not just the beauty of its core
but the whole impression/atmospher it creates
when it is worn

see?
then i realised on the spot
this is why God sent his light
in multitude
in so many hearts of people

is to be able to see Himself
from another point of view
so that He may perceive Its own beauty

'cause if He had just remained
on His own
HE would have known only His core essence

but as HE dispatched his light
in every single thing
then He could use the Perspective of One
to see the Other

this is why in sufism
this saying is well known
"I was a hidden treasure
and wanted to be known"
(this is why He created creation)

this is how i ended up
seeing the whole beauty of a bracelet
when i was seeing my arm

but when i was jsut seeing my bracelet
i could only see its core beauty

and then i realised
this is why in business
for i had always wondered
finding it strange
that business who are specialised in selling a product
WHY do they require market study?

if you love a product
then why asking a third party view?

normally
your love of a product
should bring you so close to it
that you need not an outer perspective see?

then i understood
cause the company is so much engrossed
by its core business
that it NEEDS a third party to SEE
the general stuff
to get an overview
to see stuff from another perspective
to gain another global view of its product

cause attention is One
and if it is STUCK IN
then it is engrossed
and it cannot detach itself
raise higher to see the whole picture

but if attention is ABOVE
then it can rise above
and get that whole picture
and take decision more wisely

finally
why this duality?
we need duality to see each other
without danger
there is no savior
because of the danger, the need of a savior arises

and without savior
there is no danger
because the very existence of savior, points at the existence of danger

likewise
creation has been created
to be able to mirror the existence of the other
once this existence is acknowledge
then Light/Love Power can transform it

otherwise bad remains bad
and even get worse
for the one who keeps denying it.

and i just understood
that line of quran
that i NEVER EVER made sense of

this is in 55:43
"this is the hell that the guilty one/wrongful people deny"
then the line, immeditately responding to it :
"which of the favors of God, will you deny?"

see?
i never quite understood
what the favors were about
bad is bad
that's it


is because bad becomes even worse in our life
when we keep denying its existence
so it is precisely this bad stuff that will hit us
as this frauder
and this is the hell you kept denying

to be honest
if i try to acknowledge to myself
that all the bad stuff DO exist
then there is a certain work colleague
that i want to butt his ass
cause he is a real lazy coworker

i just dislike laziness
because it makes you break your word
and put other people in trouble
and made them hanging onto you
is so unfair

but right now
my inner self
i feel it revolting itself in my chest
hahaha
and saying no no
no way
jsut butt his ass no love for him
hahahaha

i can HEAR my self
saying it
and even see her
crossing her arms
and pouting
and shaking her head
"no no no"
"no way! just butt his ass!"

hehehehe
is funny
but i have to be honest

so the solution
should be that i should acknowledge to myself
that what i start hating
i.e. his total lake of commitment at work
and sheer laziness
EXIST

that i canNOT change them
so i should not be oblivious to them
they are there
that's a fact

and then
just let it go.

if the Power of Love
find is the right timing
then It would change his ass
but i can't lose precious time
and get even worse results with such a colleague

i can console myself
thinking, 
who knows may be he got a lobotomy?
hence his absent-mindedness?
but in truth,
he does it on purpose
i hope then he will get what he deserves.

because my inner self
is still rebellious!
nah!

;)

It is Me, It is not me... - part 1



well it has been 3 times
this week

that i noticed
that i don't recognise
myself
when i speak

is W.E.I.R.D.

concretely,
i found myself 3 times
in a trap like situation
while i knew even not
that it is an unfavorable one

but each time
thank God,
i saved myself from long term headaches
without knowing
what i was saying on the spot
HAD some meaning

is too weird
even writing it
sounds weird

for instance
i met a service provider
who had to give me the right pass
and when i looked dubitative
just because i felt innerly a trouble
i just said
"i would prefer the former option
we discussed"
and to my amazement
he ended up
giving me BOTH passes
and asked me to choose
the one fit me most

incredible
is his job
and he ended up
saying to me
choose yourself what suits you best
never ever ever a company does that
impossible

business rule is
to just sell what your ass wants
and the way you want
and never downgrading yourself

and here
he just asked me
to go and check both options
and take the best one

anyway
i just let it go
cause i thought
though to my advantage
may be he is nuts

again
there was no more seat available
for my trip
i was asked just to wait for the boss
and he came and out of thin air
gave me one

and lol
honestly
my heart said no
i liked it NOT
so hehehe
this time i am the nut one

he is providing me
"graciously" a seat
when everything is booked
and i said no lol

so i asked him
if i could still get the seat
i had initially booked

you know
i asked that just because
i really felt not good
for the one he was giving me

and guess what
he did i don't know what
and i ended up with the seat i wanted

it was so fast
that myself i was standing there
wondering
"seriously?!"

anyway
this time i said to myself
you are the nuts one
move on now

and now
just today
what happened?!

i was dealing with another
service provider
and as is a new one
i ASSUMED all background check were ok

i assumed
cause i could not imagine
such fraud existing

anyway
i was about to pay
when again
i said
"please give me first the contract"

everything was about the right timing
otherwise i was in trouble

but this i knew not
again
how could i have guess
background check was not cleared?

plus when the guy has credibility
you don't question it
you just go with the flow
everyone is ok
so i am ok too
as simple as that

and when i said that
he just lost his face
became bitter
and i understood
is not business like manners
and he is a fraud

now
here is the interesting stuff
that prompted me to write this blog
is my very feeling
at what was happening

is like i could clearly see my thoughts
and i was ALL FOR IT
i had totally bought the project
all ok!
very enthusiastic and believing

so i could DURING
the negociation see myself
i mean see my very thought of
"all approved, now go for it!"

YET
out of nowhere
i blurtted out this line
"please let me see the contract first"

and now
i tell you the feeling of it
when i said it

it was like
it was not me speaking
when i say me
is the thought "go for it!"i was SO identified with that very thought
that it was me

but when i said
"give me contract first" line
my "go for it" thought disappeared
i could see it nowhere

there was no doubt
that was a full of knowledge Me
asking the very thing that was going to be a future bone of contention

and nowhere during this time
i went through the confusion
"i go for it or i go not"

so i understand
that no doubt state means
having no clash between your mind
and your Real Mind.
the latter overriding the limited knowledge
of the former
and being so VAST
that there is no contention

contention is when your mind
gets into conflict with an inner intuition
then comes doubt
or when two thougths hit each other
then comes doubt

but the state of no doubt
is when the Mind which is Sea
absorb your mind
which is a tiny river
so no more doubt...

first time EVER i GOT IT!


so,  in my situation
i had taken my decision
i was all for it!
this is the stupefying stuff

and YET
my tongue blurted out
the opposite

it felt like
the thought which was erroneous
was not at all controlling my tongue
and that my tongue was independant
and asking on its own the truthful stuff

again
written like that
it may sound weird
but is all new to me too


it was shockingly clear
i did not recognsise "myself"
i.e. i did not recognise my thought i stood for
i could NOT enact that thought

my own tongue
was protecting me from my erroneous decision
and by then the I that was being acted upon
was NOT the "i" of the thought

this is very new to me
also the second very impactful feeling
i have when i thought again about this

is like a powerful
somehow all-knowing
independent speach
which POP UP
on its OWN

and the image/vision i got
when i went over it
was that of a strong current
that pop up like a geyser

and pushes up
upwards enough
so that i gained the whole picture
and uses my tongue correctly
to ask stuff which are not those i had thought of...

is truly the vision i got
and is very NOT me
lol
is funny
i ended up thinking
would be embarassing
if one day i happen to blurt out
something which should remain hidden
hahahaha
just because the geyser decided to pop up
at that time
:)))