Bad Mood

i had a real bad mood yesterday

the thing with bad mood
is that you WANT TO STAY WITH IT
as looooooooooooooong as it takes

and then, had i had my fiancé in front of me
i would have smashed his head

lol
hehehe

so,
having a bad mood is OK
actually it is important to avoid it
  

however..is also important to see,,who is watching the bad mood,,?..


is the witness
is the arising and passing away..of mental citta factors
(citta = is our attention, the mental + emotional sides)

if you do NOT do it on the spot..you CAN get stuck on bad citta

this is WHY i was SO MUCH ENGROSSED in that BAD MOOD
that i did not want to calm down
for i had taken it as MY ID by then, so much i identified myself with it


and why it was so?
because i refused to meditate..while in the BAD mood..to ,,see,, the mood

so meditation ON THE SPOT
allow us to SEE ourselves, here to see my bad mood

but true, 
who wants to SEE that which is bad? 
i prefer on the spot to have a fighting character 
a real bad one
instead of seeing it passing 

which means
preferring to identify more and more with it by allowing time to pass like that
instead of seeing it passing!

that is so stupid of me
hopefully 
next time i will raise my energy ON THE SPOT
to SEE the state of emotions i am IN

so that it JUST be a PASSING thing 
as it was MEANT TO BE

and NOT something sticky lol