Mother Mary

O
MY
GOD!


incredible
a quick message
as i promised myself not to write so much
and first finish my work

but is a must do now

i was just checking
my mail
and of course as i had no time
i was going to close the mail box
and guess what

apart the fact that i am
all late now lol

a mail opened
initiating by calling me with my name
and the woman
was telling me
how she dreamt of Mother Mary
and how she wanted to share her dream
with me
and was about healing!

and i did not EVEN know
that i had such a mail in my box
not EVEN saw it!

and right after it
even now
is just smelling all rose
and especially TASTING it!
all on the tip of tongue

and she literally gave me
a practical advice to apply
so much that i am all excited about it

not about the advice
but about the fact of HOW connected we are
and HOW miracles are miracles because
they permeate our lives
WHEN we control NOT!
 and of course expect not
such beauties

this is why is a miracle

i feel so light and happy
and late
well... the latter is not a feeling
hahaha
kiss:x

ps : and all my heart is feeling so cool
but from the inside really
usually it feels cool
like a breeze is passing over
but now, is like it is being filled
with a cool liquid
is so agreeable
is like a bottle that you fill up with cool water
and you feel it is getting filled up

mwwha :x

Tomorrow Land - 2

another fundamental thing
Athena
is like the Shakti
so she gives company to the Innocence
of people
at the beginning is both the children
the boy and girl

then the guy as a boy
had been thrown away
from this "Kingdom"
why?
because he stopped believing
(in his own marvellous dreams
which are sacred
because they are the personal trust
from God/Rabb in us
downloaded in our Spirit within)

because his vision darkenened
by despair

and Athena
in a way came back into
his adult life
because his faith
arise again
when he saw the girl
which gave him hope
when he saw this second of flickering
of the apocalyptic future
towards a better version of it


second,
Athena says
it is not me who gives idea
it is you

for her role
as Shakti within
was to be with the boy
as he needed someone to believe in him
as his father was not
so she was merely giving him
this SPACE to BE HIMSELF
and go on with his dreams

the idea is ours
and it stems from our own inner desire
that we are bearing into ourselves
and that is the sacred trust of God
within
that only cultivated
brings about this rich kingdom of God
as a futurist vision

so all is in one's own hand
as long as we are willing
to go on with our dreams
to make them thrive and blossom
we keep working for our inner kingdom
which is a heaven like vision of tomorrow

this is a potentiality in all of us
ejected from the kingdom
by our own hands too
by the lack of cultivation of Hope
and is not a mental stuff
is all to do with the real faith
and the right practice of course
of cultivation

movies are just metaphor
like in the song
the Sound of Silence

is so beautifully said
that the message of the prophets
are written on the walls of metro

because all "messengers" / supports
point to that very message
of the faith within
of our own in-spired faith

Tomorrow Land - spoilers

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no; it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests, and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
 
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
   
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved. 

i just love this sonnet of shakespeare
was not supposed to start my post with it
but what you want
it happens that it fit perfectly 
the movie i just saw 

thing is 
at times 
stuff are so clear
that even writing it 
becomes a burden
as it won't be really fully clearly written
as i clearly understand it and see it

but if i write it not
i feel like is vital 
and have to do it
otherwise i just remain at unrest

and is like the finding
is a precious jewel
and not writing it
will let it not go into the consciousness level


the movie is called 

Tomorrow Land

is a very rich movie
in terms of the message it is conveying
full of metaphor, symbols
and of course Hope

i realised
how much music is important
it conveys even more 
when image and music blend
is just mesmerising 

this movie for me
did not really appeal me 
emotionally
usually i am just shaken within
by the message of movies
positively of course lol

this movie is really good
but the plus missing for me
is really the musical work
had it be there
and moments of silence too
it would have been a great masterpiece

it is in time like this 
you realise 
how much silence is beautiful

like a musician
who said 
something like
"after listening a piece of Mozart
you feel that even the Silence is from him"
lol 

same with movie
it would gain in impact
with such silence moments 
for the silence
measure up to your own deepness
i feel

hmm getting poetic
lol

let's go to the point
for giving the time 
i won't have my beauty sleep
hehehe

so sorry for all the typos in advance
and lack of precision
but remember
is my own notes 
that i jotted down
in my journal
so is just for myself
and is shared by the same way
 
here is the presentation of the movie itself

hm well
is incredible 
there is a waft of rose scent
i love it
had to write it 
i am tasting and smelling it
since two days
is so sweet and delicious 
really is tasty

besides as it fills up 
all the nose and tip of tongue area
is really just raising my mood up
Gambaru!
Be brave, late but not alone 
to write it :
 
so, let's go back to the movie :

Tomorrowland (titled Disney Tomorrowland: A World Beyond in the United Kingdom)^[5] is a 2015 American science fiction mystery adventure film^[6] directed by Brad Bird, and co-written and produced by Bird and Damon Lindelof.^[7][8] The film stars George Clooney, Hugh Laurie, Britt Robertson, Raffey Cassidy, Thomas Robinson, Tim McGraw, Kathryn Hahn, and Keegan-Michael Key.^[6] The film tells the story of a former boy genius (Clooney) and a young girl (Robertson), who travel to an ambiguous dimension known as 'Tomorrowland', where their actions directly affect the world and themselves.
Walt Disney Pictures originally announced the film under the working title 1952, and later retitled it to Tomorrowland, after the futuristic themed land found at Disney theme parks.^[8][9] Bird and Lindelof's screenplay was heavily influenced by Walt Disney's optimistic philosophy of innovation and utopia, such as his conceptual vision for the planned community known as EPCOT.^[10][11]
Tomorrowland was released in conventional and IMAX formats on May 22, 2015,^[12] and was the first theatrical film to be released in Dolby Vision.^[13] Upon its release, the film received mixed reviews from critics and performed moderately at the box office.

PLOT

In a flashback to 1964, a young Frank Walker (Thomas Robinson) attended the New York World's Fair. He meets David Nix (Hugh Laurie), who is unimpressed with Walker's limited jetpack. He attracts the attention of a young girl named Athena (Raffey Cassidy), who sees his potential, gives him a pin embossed with a "T" symbol and tells him to follow her aboard the fair's "It's a Small World" attraction. Frank sneaks onto the ride, his pin is scanned and he is transported into a futuristic cityscape known as Tomorrowland. He falls from a ledge, straps on his jetpack, and lands safely before Nix and Athena.
Years later, optimist and science enthusiast Casey Newton (Britt Robertson), sneaks into a former NASA launch site in Cape Canaveral, where her father Eddie (Tim McGraw) is an employed engineer. Her plan is to sabotage the machines that are dismantling the launch pad. She returns home where Athena sneaks another pin that is programmed to Casey's DNA into Casey's motorcycle helmet. The next night, Casey attempts to break into the NASA compound again, but ends up getting arrested. At the police station, she discovers the pin among her personal items. Casey discovers that upon contact, the pin instantly transports her to Tomorrowland. She briefly explores Tomorrowland, before a timer on the pin expires and returns Casey to her world.
With the help of her brother Nate (Pierce Gagnon), Casey finds the address for a science-fiction memorabilia retailer in Houston that supposedly sells the same pin. Casey then travels there, where she meets the two shop owners, Hugo (Keegan-Michael Key) and Ursula (Kathryn Hahn). When Casey shows them the pin, they ask her where she found it and if she saw a girl. When Casey tells them that she doesn't know what they're talking about, they attack her. Athena then bursts in and fights Hugo and Ursula, who are both revealed to be robots. The two of them then flee from the store as the two robots self-destruct, destroying the store. They then steal a car, as Casey learns that Athena is an Audio-Animatronic robot as well and that she was the one who gave Casey the pin.
The two girls travel to the New York home of the older Frank Walker (George Clooney), with Athena leaving Casey once they get there. When Casey shows her pin to Frank, he tells her that he won't tell her anything about it, and that he couldn't even take her to the place she saw because he was banished from there. Later that night, Casey sneaks into his house, where Frank reveals he's given up on rescuing the world from its perils, though Casey tells him that she hasn't, which results in a decrease in Frank's catastrophe probability meter. They are then approached by a group of robots disguised as United States Secret Service agents who threaten to attack Frank if he doesn't give Casey up. They break in and attack, but Frank and Casey manage to defeat them using some of his inventions and they escape from the house, which Frank then proceeds to blow up.
After reuniting with Athena, the trio then head to a teleportation machine that Frank invented which brings them to the Eiffel Tower in Paris. There they go into a room with mannequins of Gustave Eiffel, Jules Verne, Nikola Tesla, and Thomas Edison. Frank explains that they were the founders of Plus Ultra, a group of inventors dedicated to finding other dreamers and inventors with the hope of shaping the future for the better, which eventually led them into discovering a new dimension that would become Tomorrowland. The trio then enter a rocket hidden underneath the tower, which launches into the sky and then blasts into the next dimension.
The three crash-land into a now desolate Tomorrowland. Nix, now the governor of the city, arrives and takes them to his building where they stand on a platform that shows them a few seconds into the future using tachyons. They come across a monitor that shows certain events in time, first showing Casey with her family a few days earlier. Casey is then given the chance to see into the future. As she goes further into the future, she sees the launch platform in Cape Canaveral being taken down but then sees natural disasters, civil unrest, and complete catastrophe occurring all over the world just 58 days later. This is all because of Frank's device, and because he gave up when he said he wouldn't. Casey still refuses to believe this will be what happens to the world.
Casey comes to realize that the monitor doesn't show what will happen, but what could happen. Nix is then revealed to be the one who has been keeping the device on because he had been attempting to plant the knowledge of the impending destruction in the minds of the people of Earth to try and get them to realize that they can change it. However, this knowledge only served to make people give up hope and stop trying. Nix then attempts to banish the three from Tomorrowland, but Frank ends up fighting him while Athena and Casey try to use one of Frank's kiloton bombs to destroy the machine. Casey rides a platform up to throw the bomb into the device, but she misses her chance and is forced to throw it through the portal instead. The portal is destroyed by the bomb, resulting in Nix being pinned down by it. He attempts to shoot at Frank but Athena, who was able to see it happening beforehand due to the tachyons, jumps in and takes the shot herself.
Frank takes Athena to try and get her repaired, but she knows her time is running out. She plays a recording of her thoughts from when she knew Frank as a child in which she talks about how he was smitten by her, but she didn't know how to tell him that she was a robot, therefore believing that she could not feel for him what he felt for her. Though at one point she recounts a feeling for him that she cannot explain, attributing it to a malfunction in her empathy circuitry. Athena tells Frank to use her self-destruct sequence to destroy the machine. Frank carries her with his jet pack up to the highest point. They say goodbye as Athena shuts down completely. Frank drops her into the machine, causing it to explode and come crashing down on top of Nix.
Casey and Frank then begin to start bringing other people to Tomorrowland, including Casey's father and brother, and create a whole bunch of new boy and girl "scout" robots like Athena, in order to start fixing the future. After creating a whole new set of 'Tomorrowland' pins, they find more 'dreamers' all over the world and sneak them the pins. These dreamers then proceed to touch the pins, which bring them into a virtual reality representation of Tomorrowland – the idea being to use inspiration instead of fear to save the world.

source : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tomorrowland_%28film%29



ok, you see
what i appreciate
is that recently
all beautiful movies
are beautiful because they attempted
to show the relationship between man and the universe
and his question for truth

like in interstellar
even in the recent adaptation of Moses story
Gods and Kings?
really
we feel the man, as an individual,
trying to be targetted
not as a mass

here
just are as you are used to
jotted down stuff that have striken me
and found beautiful, meaningful
for myself

first i love
the brightness of the kids
first time a movie that focuses
on kids
not as victims or in whatever other role
but on kids as Innocence personified

so bright 
in both sense of the term
with high intellect and
with this open freedom
which make them just be themselves
and therefore just shine
so that even obstacles
such as end of the world
end lol

so no super hero
like superman and batman
and what other man lol
but just the innocence is the hero

and not only in kids
but in all human being
who kept believing

believing in what?
in what drives them
for each and everyone
has its own drive
in his and her own field
field!!
yes this is why the people
are transported into this wheat field
to discover the new world

which is away
from all politics, social norms
and mental tension
as it was so beautifully enumerated in the movie

the world
where all the creatifs of the world
are gathered together
to create this new world/future full of hope


i love the kids reply
such as
when Nix asks him
why he would choose his invention
and why it would be something good
brought to the world
especially if it works not
and the kid replying
"for fun
i invented it for fun
and if you see a kid
with this machine on his back
wouldn't it inspire the men who look at him?
and make the world a better place?"

is just true
is that dreamy attitude has very little place
usually in the world of politics, and so on

for is true
just for the sake of inspiring others
is such a great favor done to them

or again
when Athena
which is like the symbol
of the kundalini
ask him why he invented stuff
he said
'because i am not gonna wait for
someone to do it for me'

or again
an idea is easy to destroy
and to renounce to
but harder to have
and to work for it

also
when was the girl turn
you could see
that in school
and in all subjects
she among pupils
and teachers...
was the only optimistic one

for all the scholar cursus
teaches kids
how to face reality
of a drowning and
world on its verge of destruction

in itself is true
because you keep feeding
the bad wolf
like in the amerindian saying
which of the two wolf
you feed (the good or bad one)
is the one who will win

i loved when
thanks to the pin
in the first place she could visit
this other world
but then
somehow
at the end
the gravity brought her back
to her own world

when is said
that all the creativs
of the world gather themselves there
in this other world
is so true
because on the subtler level
is exactly as that

for everything
is born on the subtler plane
and then it sinks
and get materialised
on the grosser plane
where we are

if you notice
when she is taken
hostage in the shop
and you can see a red bubble
and a frozen blue one

see?
this duality
which is shown
the good against the evil
ie she against the dr nix commando
cold vs warm

and time frozen
is above it
for is faster than the actual time
in our world

so you could like
put her into a time bubble
freezing her karma
and give her a chance to get saved...

on the spot it has no real meaning
to see these two bubbles
of blue/cold vs red/warm

but it takes all of its meaning
at the very end of the movie

when you see that
the aim of Dr Nix
was to project into people mind
an evil scenario
about world destruction
in the hope
they will boost their ass
to save what they love
instead they crave even more
on material stuff
WHILE leaving more and more away
their BELIEF and HOPE
in what they LOVE
and each having his/her own field
of desire and skills
oki?

so the evil is not evil in itself
the chaos is used to trigger people
like pain is used to trigger you
like in my yesterday's post
to find a solution

for God's Glory
or Spirit is ONE
so if you have a problem
then for SURE
the other half
the solution is somewhere else
in some other consciousness group
and you just have to connect to it
desire it
for your own kundalini
to bring it to you

this post will get long
so i can't develop about my own
but yesterday is just insane miracle
i lack desperately time
so i wanted a lazy solution
for the matter at hand lol
and yes guess what i found
that lazy solution for my lazy side
of mine lol
never ever heard of
that kundalini will bring you stuff
matching your laziness hehehe

plus this movie
is so in line
with my own life experience
the part about the desire, the fix,
the healing, the time bubble,
the freezing karma
the Eiffel Tower
i mean never ever i went to watch movie
near the Eiffel Tower
and by SHEER chance
i was watching this one there
how is that possible

is so stricking my mind
is just like the movie is refering
to my own life aspects
EVEN when watching the movie
at the special projection
near the Eiffel Tower
you can't get the universe resonate
more than that
can you? lol

anyway
back to the movie battle

this PROVES
that the evil/pain
is ONE force
and the other
is the goodness
that seek for the solution
saving the earth
and finally
the battle between both
is like a cyclone
it creates this whirling
and the truth
sky rocketting
like from within the Eiffel Tower
Kundalini once it ARISE
and when i say ARISE
is not one or two tiny fiber of it
is the KUNDALINI FULLY
once SHE ARISES

then it sky rockets
and IS the VERY vehicule
that brings you to the world
of peace
which is at the center of the whirpool
and this center contains the utmost
SILENCE
where EVERYTHING IS
not a void
but a living silence
full
of all your dreams

for all is possible from this place
all that your inner desire created you for

and the girl
was special
like all the others
but it was a potential chosen one
meaning
as in the bible
many are called
but few are chosen

and the choice
like in matrix
is yours
not some prophecy
that say you are the chosen one
so you will be lol

is how far do you believe
in your OWN dream?

what is your DREAM?

and as long as you hold
onto it
then you will make it come true

is all that is required
faith

like in holy scriptures
when it is said
that natural catastrophes
were punishment of God

not in that sense

in the sense
that people had stopped believing

and not in God
as an exterior dictator or invisible God
waiting for you to fulfil like robots his commands
for we know not why

but like your own PERSONAL God
this is what the word RABB means in arabic
is your PERSONAL GOD

and not because is different from
the god of others
but because His attention on your
is all exclusive

because you are so special
that he has chosen you
to put in your his own Light of Spirit
and His own desire to be discovered

and people
unless and untill
they
first discover their own inner desire
what it is
and hold onto it
as if a matter of life and death
as i referred to it
'by chance'
in my yesteray post
then
there is no world

for the world
is only created by the believers
by you and i
who believe in our own desires
in our own dreams

and the dreamers
are the creators of tomorrow

and the movie
show them arising
all by group of dozen
while they were just a few
in the beginning at the time of the boy and girl

arising
like seeds
that open up in the field
warmed by the sun
and seeing ahead of them
the vision of the future that they create
and make evolve

for the end of movie
in a way restart at the beginning
showing indeed
that the new dreamers
will again go through this
inner battle of good vs evil
within them
every day of their life
as long as they do not give up
and keep feeding the good wolf

this tension between
good and evil
is necessary
to push the evolution

this is why
there were this blue and red
forces of bubble of electricity in the shop

and this is why the girl was so special
she fixed not the word outside
she fixed it as a resonance factor
the outside world
was fixed/healed

because she
tested her belief in her desire
and was always with common sense
motivated by truhtful behavior
a very sincere one

this is why sincerity
is the most beautiful thing ever
unless you cherish it
you can never test your belief

and the word test is not a mere word
to test means to test it with your life
and accept the conclusion
and surrender to it

she surrendered to the fact that
she saw the future
destruction everywhere

but she also kept testing
her own desire

if her desire was to believe
that optimism for the world does exist
then why the vision was inserted into her mind
without caring if it was true ?

see
i love that part
you go till the end
to the utmost limit of your own logic
this is called the
"jusqu'au boutisme" in french
when you do so
you really surrender to the fact
that if God gave you this desire
and all that fluffy vision
then why it can't exist?

why he cared not
to at least instill something true
if the mind had to be instilled with sth?

is incredible
is the very very
word for word
question i had asked myself
when i was at the end of my search for truth
i had no more solution
and it meant no more path to make my desire thrive
so i had asked myself, like in past posts,
if God gave me the desire
for truth
then he has surely given me the way to fulfill it
ie to make it thrive and make it a path to be lived
and throdden
but how come i was seeing no more of opportunity
for feeding that desire?

see
this movie is very beautiful
because it resonates and echoes in me
in all respect

just ecstatic music missing
lol

back to movie,

and from there
the declic came to her
that visions are not only caught by the antenna
but are actually instilled into the mind

for an idea repeated over and over
become true in people s mind

and where do they come from?
from the same wolf feeding pattern
the more you feed it the more it grows

so is always about KNOWING
that you have the choice
and stop low level broadcast
which make you abandon your dream

these are called waswas in arabic

also
i liked the Eiffel Tower taken
as symbol of the kundalini
with the First Premiers
as the Four first petals of the Innocence
here inventors who are thereby protecting
this other world of tomorrow
which base is the innocence in people
which as long as it is not renounced onto

is the very support
of our belief
belief in our spirit
this is how getting in-spired
is the spirit in action
which skyrocket us to push back
the limits of evolutions
for a brighter future.





 

The Obvious that is hidden : I was a hidden treasure and wanted to be discovered

oh
an event made me remember
just a few days before i got self realisation

but let's start with the beginning
when i used to read biography of the prophet
and i had read when was the hardest time of his life
was at mount Taif

was the hardest
because was the time
he was alone
and when you have a message to share
and this message be to share goodness
so that it be of benefit to all

and you are called a madman
for that
then i felt was indeed the hardest time
of his life

as we know
in joy time
all the universe rejoices with you
and gods come and dance with you
and the gods are just Archetypal qualities
over matching group of consciousnesses

which come to your way
and take part in your joy
this is why
the more variety of people gathered
the more authentic the joy is

but in times of pain
you are really alone

but prior to feeling joy
you feel deep pain
and it can't be, i feel,
be any different way

why?
because God
to know Itself
needs to discover itself

like when in islam
is said,

I was a hidden treasure
and wanted to be discovered

something of this effect

so beautiful
and innocent like request
it is

not request
but desire
the sheer desire to see our own beauty

but is like
unless you have a starting point
you can't see beauty

for in truth
nothing exist
not even darkness
except light

but if you are in the creation
manifestation level
you do
i mean your mind
do have the notion of duality

so unless
you feel
the deepest of pain
you can't seek for the deepest bliss

there may be exception
but i speak for myself

is like
and is for sure
pain which shows you
the other face of coin
that is joy
DOES exist

and because darkness and light
are both one in divine spirit
if you have a problem
then, in the spirit,
which is such a huge field of energy
manifested in this world

somewhere
someone
HAS the solution
IS the solution

for nothing exist by itself
in the world of duality
except the spirit
and the spirit Glory is ONE
and WHOLE

and is BLISS

(though i know it not yet
but i feel it IS)

so this experience of pain
as much pain one feels
as much challenge is higher
to transform it into light
and get the final realisation

that indeed
there is nothing else
except God Glory

that is real testimony
that your OWN body and soul
actualise it

when you say
La ilaha illa Allah

for nothing else
remains to be testified
except this Bliss and Glory
of God within

for if it was not within
then how could a dual thing
witness Unity?
except by integration
and transformation into light

so this is WHY
the must is
to surrender

not to surrender
by doing some freaking
crime against humanity jihad
as some insane guys
who call themselves muslims do it

but as doing the TRUE jihad
which is
by the way told by the prophet

the greater jihad
is the struggle of the ego
to surrender WITHIN to God

such people
will never in 30 000 years
be saved
after their death
their soul once awakened
from their limbo
will feel the SHOCK
of having NOT
what they think they will get
some 70 virgins may be
or i don't know what they mind
imagined

think!
and think hard
such people are destroying
other life
so sacred
and condemning themselves
to eternal doom

i really feel pain
in my belly for them
is so sad

so real surrender
is all about YOU and GOD
WITHIN

three key words
and for this you need
to surrender to your shakti within

which myself have NOT surrendered
so far
for i am learning again
from the complicated
to go to the simple

and this is normal

for if the soul was not complicated
it would not
WHEN it discovers the simple
SEE THE WORTH of it!

for if it was all simple
from the beginning

then we are back to the initial desire

I am the hidden treasure
and wanted to be discovered

see?
this is like winding back a tape
and the more
the soul has learned intricate stuff
about life
the more it has POTENTIAL worth

ONCE
it reverts back to the simple
to God Within
and Surrender
to APPRECIATE
and really LIVE
this bliss
and surely
i can feel ahead
the ecstasy of sheer simplicity

for this is why duality exists
to feel the bottomless pit of pain
and all that is so complicated

to surrender it back to God

so that
you experience the highests of Bliss
and see how all of this is Simple

but as i only talk
of my own experience

this is always what happens with me
whenever i challenge God
and i always do
not my fault
i think i am bent on discovering
that limits exist not lol

so innerly
when i had read that story of the prophet
at mount Taif

i had read his prayer
very beautiful one
so beautiful
that i copied it down in my pocket book
and used to read it often

because i wanted to understand
what was his pain
and i said to myself
is it possible to feel pain
when all is so comfortable
and thank God
in your life?

thing is
when you question yourself
then the challenge to God start
why?
because if their is a question
then there is a solution

and till you find not the solution
is like God grind your soul
till you push yourself to find it

so my life was all normal
and all traced
but asking myself such question
led me to wonder bit by bit
more about what is real
value of life
the GREATEST POTENTIAL
that one can make use of
our own life

for if such honorable people
and prophets suffered so much
then it means
there was something MORE
than what the current LIFE
i was living

when my own life
took the spiritual turn
to find the answer

it brought me back
to the VERY week
preceeding my little spontaneous self realisation

only now
i can see how
it was all planned

this is why it is said
in Truth
you see that everything IS
AS IT SHOULD BE

but when you are
in the middle of it
you think is chaos

and INDEED it is
because you are in the cyclone
and not in the center of it
where there is peace

and indeed
if you stop grabbing
at faith
at THIS VERY moment
chaos will destroy you
BUT
if you  grab the rock
as tight as you can
this very chaos
become the VERY path
that had to lead you to God

either smoldered by chaos
or raised to a more glorious
and perfect path
initiated by your desire

so is of utmost importance
to NEVER EVER give up
with the pure desire
of seeking truth
for if you do
you know
what the chaos
you raised
by your own hand
in your life
by challenging God
will smolder you like never

not because is a sin
but because

I am the hidden treasure
and i wante to be known

and always remember
is not a sin
because deeds are judged by intention

and indeed
when you challenge God
is in the true sense of the word
not as a defiance
let me be clear

challenging God
out of curiosity
to KNOW
the deep Truth that your OWN Life is meant to bear

this is my way
to really call
for the experience
to "know" God ways

if i had to live a well throdden path
all planned
as i was heading into
i would have died of sadness
and boredom lol

anyway
that very week
i felt so much at the end of the end
does it exist lol?

that in our house
there was a wooden terrasse
and it was raining so strongly

and not to panick family
i told them is normal
and i am not insane lol

and i went out
and just sat under rain
like for meditation

for i used to sit often
like this to contemplate

but these days was nearly
impossible
so much at unrest i was
and at life crossroads
while i was seeing no solution
spiritually speaking
seeing no breakthrough

i just went there
and sat under rain
and i imagined
that God was cleaning me
with the rain
and purifying me

and that like
my own body was witenessing
this cleaning
for sure
with the same desire
i wanted the same cleaning for my soul

and that as of now
was in God hand

for i had really done
the most i could
and i could no more see
what else was possible
for me
i had no more even options
to choose from
all options
and experiences
at my level by then
were exhausted

to be honest
i was afraid
for it was a stormy rain
and there were thunders
and strong wind

and as i had eyes closed
and the surrounding was so 
this is how you feel
small
and afraid

like a branch of a tree
which could be taken
by a strong wind
and crushed to the next wall
by the chaos

but i did my most sincere
prayer by then
as the body was experiencing this
soul took the testimony
that this purification DOES exist
but is just it sees if not HOW
and needs God for it

when i came back in the house
i remember again
my mom face
she was there with a towel
and she was worried
and in pain for me

this is moms
they are always so
but more important than mom
is your own desire for God
and you have to be true to it
either you desire it or not

and when you do
any little stuff different from
your "sane" routine
people get worried or questioning
is nothing about them
is about you
is just to follow your OWN
inner drive of the moment

the next day
i received a mail
which said
something like,
'do not rush it,
God help is coming'

this just awe strucked me!
like when circumstances
and unknown people
start talking to you
to what was supposed to be
secret to you

and the next day
i got this spontaneous self realisation

at the beginning
when i started to write it
i felt so sad
for this period of my life
was the hardest one

is the hardest part of your life
to remember you have to remember
something
but you just can't
and you know
is about the eternity of your soul
but you know not
what, nor how
even worse nor who could help you

even the best intended people
or family's
thought of being of help
but they were just loading me off
with their own worries

what i wanted was
another pair of eyes
who see in me
and for which i have nothing to say

but that these eyes
could know all of my past,
present
and future

and desire for what i knew not

is crazy
written like this
even more crazy
when you gave up everything
for something that you could not even name

and that you could not even remember

but once the chaos was over
and faith helped me to resist
the Helping Hand of God was there
and It transformed it
to the actual path i am walking upon

that is all by the Grace of God
indeed

and i thank God
for all that Life is

and i wish
that all in my life
keeps transforming itself
till it integrates wholly into the Light
that it has always been
Ameen.

Here is the dua At Taif :


“O Allah! Unto You do I complain of my weakness, 
of my helplessness and of my lowliness before men.  
O most Merciful of the merciful. 
O Lord of the weak and my Lord too. 
Into whose hands have you entrusted me?  
Unto some far off stranger who receives me with hostility? 
Or unto a foe whom you have empowered against me? 
I care not, so long as You are not angry with me.  


and i happen to come across my favorite poem
so is so meaningful now 
in the light of what i wrote :


“Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O no, it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand'ring bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken."

(Sonnet 116)”
― William Shakespeare, Shakespeare's Sonnets 
But Your favouring help, that were for me the broader way and the wider scope.  
I take refuge in the light of Your countenance whereby all darknesses are illuminated and all things of this world and the next are rightly ordered, 
lest You make descend Your anger upon me or lest Your wrath beset me. 
Yet it is Yours to reproach until You are well pleased. 

There is no power and no might except through Thee.”


 

The Thin Lady

ah am happy
for about let's say a month now
i missed NO day of meditation
EXCEPT one tiny day lol
was because i really did not hear my alarm

otherwise
i managed to meditate every morning
with let's say a 2 hour gap from my routine time

which is a miracle
because knowing that one has NEVER EVER
same timetable, mood, circumstances
and that our own negativity attacks us
as soon as it knows you are going on the right track
it requires a GREAT effort to meditate
when your inner gross energy is saying you
just glue yourself back to your pillow lol

anyway i kiss myself
good work i did
:x mwha lol


today,
THE thing i felt
is the same i felt when i used to be in nursery
may be you felt same?

you know
when i was a child
and started to go to nursery
and we HAD to sleep
this i never got it
always wondering
why making me get up early from bed
to go to school and then sleep there lol!

anyway
i always had there this nightmare
that a very white and thin lady
was in me
and i could feel her
and she was so thin as energy
very light
like a leaf

but suddenly
something very rough
and grooooooossss
was enrolling her from both side

and she was lacking more and more breath

like innerly
i knew it was like she was being
silenced
and it was a death like sentence
for her and for me
as i could feel her

but when i used to wake up
i kind of had this weird sensation was true
even though the ladies told me
was only nightmare

you know
once you open your eyes
from dream you think is just a dream
but you are still living that dream

like in inception
such a great movie makers they are!


anyway!
this morning!!!

i had the SAME sensation
and FEELING

is like your body cell
record all memory
and when it present to yourself
you JUST remember

and i felt the same thin energy!
but this time was OPPOSITE !

she was arising!
and the gross energy
that i had felt both sidde of her
was just merely disintegrating
away from her!

i felt so happy
the reverse!

:)
i knew it was not a nightmare
indeed
by then it was the shakti
which was being suppressed
for when you are a kid
and enter into a man made world
your own innocence
start getting covering up
by the conditioning of the place
and school and locality and country

and so on
where you live

and this is the very Life
and flow in you
and from you
which is being clouded
and suppressed
if you get it not awakened
and re-established

ok i am late
sorry for typo

kiss:x