I heard the silence

:)
i said this when i heard silence in my head
all of a sudden while i was working

i was working
and all of the sudden
i heard silence in my head
and i knew on the spot
i had to stop doing what i was busy with

and look around
for something special sent by the spirit
was coming in my way :)

hehehe
there was no sign of it
just the silence in my head

and when i said it outloud
out of joy
and it was heard
i feel so happy inside
and i was told

"so you heard me in your mind?"

ah is so heart melting to hear that...

plus,
when i said it outloud
i was told
"I heard silence..incredible beautiful expression ..."

:)
i heard silence today
because is rare to hear silence
but when you hear silence
you hear its content
somehow
and you hear its promise

... i heard the silence :)

kiss:x

The Sun within

hmm
there is loads to say

main points being
this ramadan is one of the best of my life
for i am combining fasting
which purifies chi
with meditation

basically 
i care to maintain my hydration level up
is vital
as water stores energy
without it
all the meditation benefits goes to waste


second this fasting is not real fasting
real fasting is not to eat at all for days
am not yet to that level

yet it has been giving me a real bonus
as far as discipline is concerned

sleeping at midnight
waking up at 3 am
is crazy rythm
combined with 5 times a day meditation
each session of 20 min

at some point i felt the cool breeze
went out of my head
like a pressure cooker that push the lid

amazingly enough
unless i meditate in collectivity
my vibrations go down
for the subtle system absorbs all that is around
and i cannot compensate

but for the first time ever!
my vibrations are increasing day by day
even though i am unable to meditate in group
that's heavenly change!

 never i would have thought
i could even maintain my vibes
even less increase them in such a short time

once discipline is set
then
there is space created for love to expand...

for you relax in yourself
and in such a state
i noticed
whenever i wonder about something
i see the answer in image right on the spot
and later at night
if i still wonder at it
the spirit voice shows me the rest

so by chance a few days ago
i was watching a movie
and from the talk i heard therein
i wondered about the why behind

why the movie writer made a movie
with focus on alien theory
because the theory was being argumented loads
not as a passing topic
so the emphasize on it bothered me
as it fit not the usual frame

and on the spot
i saw how prior to the movie making off
leaders of the company in charge of tv communication
had an agenda
with a list of topics
about which propaganda should be made
using well known serials broadcast
to touch the viewers' perception

so i was literally seeing their meeting
and the choice of a topic in a movie is not anodin
a topic tackled on such an extend in a movie
was being so because of a well thought propaganda agenda

it took a flick of a second
for me to see the vision
but all was said in it

the very night
somehow i dreamt of a possible future of the earth
not set in stone
but the future we are heading into
given the current choices made
so much that i saw that all that used to be "nature"
and simple joys
like going to a warm restaurant with friends
on a snowy day
became a museum
for the remaining surviving generation to witness

it was such a desolation
myself i felt empty when i saw this
even now i feel very sad
as i remember it

but is not set in stone
we can always change future
future  of humanity
lies in the challenge of every peoples to unite
to fight for the survival of their humanity

either humanity will unite and succeed
or it will keep dividing itself and fail as a whole

you see
i kind of get few years of respite
of not seeing anymore these kinds of futurist catastrophic scenes
i had even forgotten that danger exist for humanity
because so happy i am
to feel everyday spirit nearness

but i guess
respite was necessary
for me to build hope within

i don't want to see anything like that
for once i would like to see a bright future
that the right balance has been stricken
would be so nice to see another vision of the world we choose as our future

at the end of the dream
i heard spirit voice
saying
"i am the general sun that keeps burning"
general like in command

it was said like a fullstop
like a counter balance to all the depressing stuff i saw
only by hearing the voice i felt better
because you see the voice is alive
it has a living presence

also
it meant to show
the origin of creation
when God sent its light to burn down
from higher levels to lower till it becomes manifested in this world
to manifest itself and experience itself

true
seeing and hearing origin of creation itself
is awesome
but for me
it was soothing to hear the voice
in itself i found hope
as it removed the hard impact of the preceeding images

just today
i received this quote
which illustrates very much the meaning of the sentence said by the voice :

The worlds are held together by the heat of the sun; each of us are atoms held in position by that eternal Sun we call God. Within us is the same central power we call the light, or the love of God; by it we hold together the human beings within our sphere, or, lacking it, we let them fall.

source : Bowl of Saki, June 29, by Hazrat Inayat Khan



have a blessed evening

Ambrosia!

Ah!!!!
i FOUND THE SCENT!

i could NOT pinpoint it
not because i suck
because i suck all the way at it anyway
lol
no is because is a totally NEW one to me!

Spirit told me
is
"Buddha scent"!

WOA
does a scent like that exist
i wondered lol
one say rose scent, jasmine scent
but buddha scent??

quizzing look within

i just knew is sooo sweet
not roses but reminding it most
or most near to it
but thicker

and was told
'the ambrosia'


sooo!
is that the "nectar of gods"!
or the amruta in hinduism
ambrosia is the greek word!!

ah oki!

true
i felt a column of lightness in the head
and i felt the scent tasting so good
first under the tongue
and then it goes up
on tongue

and also fully i still smell it in the nose

of course we smell through the nose
but the nose is fully of it within!

yes i understand now
this ambrosia
is secreted by the pituiary gland
which is in head
hence why that column in the head
all the down the way has been feeling so light!

and as glands are below the tongue
they are secreting the ambrosia!
hence the tastes there!

the glands secret the ambrosia
in higher stages of meditation
and is secreted that way
by the saliva
by the brain glands....


kisses to my blessed brain glands
mwah :x:x:x

Thank you.... what next? :)

ps : no wonder i could not pinpoint the scent!
is all new!

In Honor of Buddha

woaaa
such a nice and deeply real dream
i had ...

first
i saw myself opening
a buddhist text
and as i was reading it
it was flowing so smoothly
in understanding

you know what type of understanding?
the first hand one
the one that you don't use with mind
for you don't try to imagine
or extrapolate

but the one that is show to you
as is
so as i was reading
i even forgot i was reading
for is like the reading
was the symbolic act
of touching that knowledge
say the entrance door

for i ended up being the object
of what i was reading
and living it from the very point of view
of a seed of a wheat, of a pool of water etc.

imagine...
is like you become
or ARE the very object of knowledge
is like the object become you
and the object is the subject of action

is like when you look at some situation
involving two people
imagine you swap your seat
for the other person body
and you can see life through his eyes?

was same here in the dream
i was seeing the teaching
from the "body" / point of view
of a pool of water or wheat grains...

so i saw the cyclical change
through which a human beings goes through
life or life times
for time matters not in there
it takes the time it takes
what matters is the state of maturation
before some shift comes

so i saw first a pool of water being full
this pool of water was alive
and i was that
for it was teaching / showing
by way of its own metaphor
how when your actual state becomes full

then you pass onto next stage
and there i saw an ear of wheat
when it became full
i mean fully mature
it was describing/telling
how human being state becomes mature
and once it does
i saw that another grain of wheat grew
out of it
leading the human being to his next stage

and the one grain of wheat
arising anew
was rising on top of a past stage
which was pain
once pain state was fully mature
had completed its cycle
then from this state another state would be born
and that state would be that of Love
and so on for each state of being of human kind

**sigh**
i need a sigh emoticon
so much i am using it nowadays

but that was so real teaching

you see
i had those kinds of dream 4 years ago
i could see stars in the sky
a group of them
and they were telling their metaphor
just by their presence

or i had dreamt of being a field flower
and i saw myself
my own seed germinating
and a thin stem coming out of it

see is not them who are alive
is you
the stars or some flower seed or wheat
or pool water...

i just learned firmly
that indeed the whole universe is in you
and each element has its guardian
and you can't access the consicousness of those elements within
unless you are within yourself
ie your attention is within

for one day may be two weeks ago
i realised on the spot
the freshness of the saying
"bring your attention within"

you know how it felt like?
was like i barely touched
like wind that touch a swaying petal
the importance of attention within

not as mental conviction
but as one witnessed by the body

so i understood that day
if one day
i bring my WHOLE attention within
ie not a few %
but the WHOLE of myself
the WHOLE of my attention

then as the kundalini will bear it in Her
like a child that is being beared by a pregnant woman
then this attention JUST by being PLACED in that SACRED LIVING energy within
will become ALIVE as well

you don't know
what ALIVE means
because if you knew
then you would be an enlightened being

so that was my intuitive touch of a wind on a petal
that taught me that feeling
prior to any experience of a fully enlightened attention

and once that attention is fully born in the kundalini
as a child is born in the womb
then this attention becomes alive
and by that it means
where your attention is PUT
then it LITERALLY TOUCH IN 3D
everything you direct your - self or your attention to
so that your attention becomes at same time
the eye sight, smell, the touch
the within and without of any stuff you look at
you can feel and be the tickness of sth
no need to touch it with your hands to know it
because you ARE that

like when i was in uk
during my sufi time :) 
and the voice from within me arose
and who startled me by its depth
I AM THAT WHICH I AM

by then i had no clue
but now only writing that
it comes to me
so i remembered it

so the dream of tonight
just taught me that
how the human being goes
from one cycle to another
once his state is mature
his learning of one state with its associated feelings
then another seed which is another feeling/emotion/state
will sprout from this grain of wheat
because of the necessity for the human being
to learn a new state

: )
so of course
once i woke up
i checked on internet
and indeed the example of the wheat grain is
a teaching from Buddha!:)

it is a Buddhist Sutra

so fun it is
true!
i am now studying buddhism in dream :))

i guess in this blessed month of Ramadan
i will start it honoring it with the teaching of Buddha
and start reading some Buddhist Sutra :x


:x :x :x
kisses to you all

ps : i definitely need to recognise perfume
all the way i was writing this blog
and still now
i am smelling and tasting
some scent on my tongue
hmm it feels like a soft sugary waft
of ...?
hm don't know what scent it is
i suck at it lol

Strands of light

three days ago
as i was going to sleep
i got a very beautiful vision

i saw myself turning my attention within me
and i looked inside of me
and what i saw was marvellous
it was a beaming ball full of light
and its light was so intensely and purely radiating
that my whole face was reflecting this light

then
i saw that in the center was a ball of light
and all around it were smaller bubble sized like balls of light
all whirling around and spiraling upward

while spiraling so
the heigher i kept watching
the more i could see
these multitude balls of light
were transmuting into waves of light

you know like
when you lit incense?
and you see its fume raising up high
while dancing ?
was exactly like that

and when i kept watching
and that light kept ascending
it became all multicolored strands of light
like rainbow colors in this ascending strand of light

that was just purely beautiful
** sigh **
i feel so good

kiss:x:)

Thank you... what Next? :)

:) my heart is about to explode from joy !
the day i am living today
is like literally saying

my DREAM out of me!
say,

even this vision!
i came across a latin scientific word
and had NO clue what organ it was about in the body
and guess what?!
i got a vision of it in front of my eyes!!
i SAW the VERY organ in my vision
and i KNEW what it was
and WHERE it was situated!

believe me

is like

you have a dream
you just detail it as much as you want
to make it like sooo much comforting to you
like answering EACH and EVERY single requirements
of yours
sooo much
that if ANYONE were to hear it
would say
she is crazy
or this dream is crazy
because is so much challenging
the odds and chances for it to happen
that it is a no-no

that EVEN you
would say
"ok God i gave you so much details
that honestly i know you can't fulfill all of them"

but i mean honestly!
is a spontaneous honest remark
i made to myself
YET still believing in my dream

so there is no room for feeling disheartened
but only may be a bit of sadness in your resolve
that you KNOW it exists
but so far the conditions let you NOT SEE it...

EXCEPT
for a dreamer!

myself i am in-cre-di-bly happy

but as spirit says
"do not put barrier"

so i thank the Spirit
from all of my heart
for it
i am getting soft hearted now
some crying time
lol

thank you to Life
to provide the space for the dreams to exist

thank you to my soul
for SELFISHLY dreaming it
and caring not about what others would think

thank you to the sufferings
to create the desires to dream

and thank you to my faith
to keep dreaming

and now?
What next? :)

Pinocchio drama

you know i have already
praised so much South Korean
well-chosen drama
for they are so soulful

i got to see another one
called
Pinocchio

really
like for any best movie
i would like to write
a note on it

but this is so soulful
and delicate
that it speaks so much to soul
that the best i dare to do
is just to advise watching it

and watch more
such quality south korean drama

you see?
is like it gives life lesson
also care for all kinds of people
in all walks of life

of course
like in any drama
or tv setting
stuff are exagerated

but see it not
as superficial stuff
ending up concluding
it exists not

it is exagerated
for the sake of the viewer
to pay attention to it
in his own life
see?

is so very beautiful
soulful
like a dew drop in the morning
left on a petal

the writers have a very poetic
and keen eye
to such details
that are so much overlook
in our fast driven
and often superficial society

so let your soul
be touched by it

kiss:x

the "What next" mantra

that's it!

i am craving a mango milk shake with ice cream right now

yummy...

ok i have to do my blog faithfully
after i rush for the best of the best meal
i am hunnnnnngry

lol

yesterday night
as i was going to sleep
i got a real vision
so real
that this time i will really call it
an out of body experience

ah so beautiful
have you ever seen a real sun rise?

i saw one
in space

so beautiful
it all the more beautiful
because space is dark

and i was seeing the earth
so first i saw our blue planet
so near i was
it was so beautiful
blue with white laces
of foam

i was in the space
see the earth from the american continent
and thus could see
a close up of europ and asia
pearlescent white mixed blue tones
so beautiful
i repeat it again
beauti-FUL

then i raised my eyes
and was awe struck by the sun rising
on the other side near asia continent
just "behind" the earth planet

such a beautiful sun rising
really
is like the sun rays were a blurred
light bathing the earth

so shinning
no so glorious

it just lasted 2 seconds
my attention got distracted
ah i would have wished to see
the whole sun rising

you see
after in myself
i was re living that sun rising
and i happen to say
"incredible"

and spirit told me

"don't put barriers"
"instead say: what next"

see?
and i remembered
this is why very often
i get to say
ok what is more to that?
once i have reached an experience
because innerly i get bored
and i want more
but
see, when i get all excited
even on some beautiful thing
i forget to say what next

so rule of thumb
if you want more miracle
in your life
is simple
just keep challenging God
and say :
"what next"

even make it the mantra/zikr of your life

you see we have a famous saying
in islam

Allah says
my servant should ask me more
for i love being asked

something of that effect

this gives joy to God
and remember God is within you
His Light is within you

so why He would hurt you
when you challenge him
for more ? :)

is not about disrespect
is just about the thirst of knowing him more
and He loves seeing you in joy
so He gives you more joy
and as the spirit light is in your heart
it will just not hurt Itself by hurting you

this is why
never God hurts you
is only you who forget to ask Him

so THANK YOU God
and
so what next? :)

Leap of faith and orbs of lights

Yesterday night
i dreamt that i - as a personality
using my free will
i threw myself into the ocean

while doing this
i said to myself
i should be crazy
who risks its life like that


and it was all dark around

as soon as i did it!

i saw that i had a ball of light
that is my inner light

and that light sent instantly
offshoots
like ropes of lights
to the other balls of lights
who were still on the shore
because the light is One
so it creates connections

that was tremendous
especially when i understood its meaning

that was the vision of higher astral realms
where realised souls appear as balls of light

the balls of lights
are the realised souls
from higher astral planes
and once you take this leap of faith
and surrender to the Shakti within
then it is the way of real surrender

now i understand
why is fearful to surrender
because you surrender to that which is unknown
total Unknown
**goosebumps time**
lol

no
actually even in the vision
i had not time to fear
but i was calling myself real crazy
usually one aims at safety of a routine
but i was aiming at discovering something new
totally new

because you can't limit yourself
with fears
you need to breakthrough
really

few people can do it
to break through their last fears
that's when blessings and grace of the Spirit
are the only support and guidance left

and is also the final realisation.
that's why also advanced yogis are needed


and that Ocean is the Shakti.
Mother of Creation

ahh i feel good
really

and yes
i also realised
at times you do see in news
or "paranormal" activities
orbes of lights described in skies, isn't it?

to my own amazement
that vision taught me
that those orbes of lights
are these realised souls from higher planes
who travel and reach our lower planes
and are caught at times on camera
those little balls of lights :)

so these advanced spirits
are kind of playing as they want
in the 10 realms :)

and imagine
i felt so much coolness in the whole right channel
and especially JOY in the right heart

usually i feel joy in the belly
or in the left heart
but never ever ever
i would spot joy in the right heart
is so unusual place to spot joy

yes for they are from higher planes
and JUST below are the demi-gods
sugoi isn't it?!
and they do this
because they are STILL wanting to experience
hmm this gives you the meaning and thirst of Life
Experience it while being realised
is just the cherry on top of the cake

by the way
it means there are infine possibilities
when one play on these 10 realms
hohoho
IMAGINE the play ground?!
ah but that is the peeping sight of Tomorrow's Land, neh?

ok i will see

anyway demi gods or not
even them they forget the source
so is most important to always remember
the Source within

i feel just happy for it
i guess

sugoi!
so this is WHY
it explains many things

and yes UFO exist

kiss:):x
ps : and i got that vision
which was from my soul
as to the answer i desired the day before
that was special peaceful day
cf preceeding post


so special appreciative
thank you to my soul
to my inner light
ameen.

kisssi:x