Effie Gray

 

Portrait made of John Ruskin by his protege the painter John Everett Millais.

In the movie Effie Gray, 

at the very beginning, the teacher John tells his students

that Nature should be painted as it is seen

the good and the bad that occur 

they must be true to their observation.

Later, the painter John E. Millais

happens to be hired to paint the portrait of John Ruskin

as he fell in love with his wife.

The interesting part is 

when one wants to win 

one truly does its best to look good

either by shining one's own qualities 

and/or by degrading the competition.

According to me, the student surpassed the master

as he remained true to his self

by honouring and painting what he saw 

not letting temptation of sabotaging his master's portrait becoming his goal.

Instead he made sure to paint his master as is

doing so, he did not darkened his heart with a goal that was not his.

His initial goal was to become a recognised painter and for this you need to be true to your learning.

Therefore if you are true to your initially set goal

which is your heart desire

and do not forget it 

do not exchange it for some other secondary goal, say revenge

then your gain is the ultimate gain

this is the real success

as you followed the light of your heart

in the service of the fulfilment of your goal/heart desire.

Ironically; the same teacher fell short of his own teaching

as he refused to accept his wife as it is

due to his own fears - whatever fears he had.

From a deep and exalted love and devotion he had for his by then future wife

once married he let this being compromised

because of his inability to face his own fears 

and contrary to his teaching 

instead of seeing things for what they are 

and painting his own life with what he had

he preferred to give into his fears, denials, covering up his own weaknesses 

which his own self loathing ended up being directed towards his wife

who started leaving a life of an "eternal torment"

Effie's mother happened to lose at least 7 kids

and Effie's husband made fun of that barnyard who should not be at this point distressed..

Anyway the fun part is once Effie remarried

she ended up having 8 babies

Definitely the souls of the lost ones 

must have reincarnated by her

I couldn't prevent myself of having that thought.

All in all, though the movie could have been more expressive in exploring these aspects

it was yet an honourable take.

May be the deep silence and the gravity displayed by all the actors was enough of a silent talk 

pointing at these very emotions.

Feedback and not failure

 To be in charge if your own Life.

Fears take control of our life 

when we believe they are in control.

This happen due to a panic reaction.

So what should be done

is to take what we do not like

as a feedback.

Instead of taking it as a failure, 

ie failure, because it did not turn out to be as we expected.

Failure is only if you label it so.

This is the power of the words,

the spell-ing.

So take it as a feedback.

Then, integrate it in your field.

Imagine your field being your body

it has like any organism to grow

we grow either through our own choices, stepping ahead to accomplish something - joy

or forced by pain

either way to make our field grow.

The growth of this field happens 

once we learn to integrate the feedback to our field

call it magnetic field

it'll grow like a cellular division that gives a foetus.

So this feedback will integrate our field

like a cell 

and will grow

and be part of us.

For this to happen

we need to pluck that feedback 

like a flower

and give it love

look at it with innocent observation 

with the unique objective of reaching our set goal.

Attention is the wave and the particle

 Important thing about the agnya

the attention should be seen like a particle of light

that hit the object

and return to us its wave

to be stored into our ego or superego.

By the way, that pretty much answer the 

question if the atom is a light or a particle, honestly.

Back to the main point, 

therefore, the intent behind the attention 

is that which you reap for yourself.

Intent, judgement that hit the objects by a loaded attention

will return you back a wave that would be quite asymmetric.

such as fear, and other imbalances, judgement and other imbalances.

Example: You see someone doing something funny

you instantly judge it

and that data returns back to you and is stored in your system.

No harm there.

Yet, next time you want to take part in say a talk,

you will feel fear of being laughed at; that is stored in your system

through your previous experience.

You are judged by which you judge.

So this is why the letting go is a key element in our attention.

As a human being, we cannot suppress such hasty judgement,

but as a work in progress, we can remember to forgive, ie let go of the embedded judgement 

in our attention,

so that in the future, the attention be so bright, liberated, unloaded, that we just are in the moment,

and just enjoying the moment.

The whole purpose of life

is to remember our Divinity; how we are the expression of it

and also to embody it to help others to remember theirs too.

Isn't it paradoxical on one hand to pretend that, 

on the other hand to see same people feeling envious, jealous,

and. thus not wishing the good for the others that they have been asserting as philosophy of their life before.

This point I never got it.

I had definitely felt these feelings too

but. again; how long do you stay with them?

You can let them be passing shades 

or become your fossilised identities.

Kundalini Fire at Agnya & Computer Download

Amazing happening 

Yesterday night

all of sudden I got awake

and as soon as I opened my eyes

I got an intense extremely quick flash of light

it was all red in my vision in the background.

And then there were a non stop succession 

of rapidly scrolling images on top of that 

I would say may be thousands of them!

I couldn't even see the images, so fast the speed was!

It was like thousands of computer files being downloaded!!

Impossible to have time to view one single image

so incredibly fast that download was..

This lasted at least 15 to 20sec (?) or less or more

no idea but that was my first time having such experience.

After this I could also feel electricity going down towards the heart 

due to me going back to sleep there were couple of occurrences 

where I could feel this electric activity 

I even saw myself sending messages lol on WhatsApp 

and then once I woke up I did not see any message sent 

and got panicked what if I had sent them to the wrong person 

describing the happening!

Anyway at this point, dream and reality were one I believe.

Luckily, nothing sent in the middle of the night hahaha

but the senses were for sure extremely heightened after that during the sleep.

The spirit explained that the red background I saw was the Kundalini Fire

and that is very rare to see that 

as very few people have seen it

also the images were all of my past and future

and I could see them, as the Kundalini passed through the Agnya.

Now that I think of it,

it is true that Shri Mataji explained 

that thoughts are like waves 

and when kundalini passes through Agnya 

it straightened the waves!

Also it makes even more sense

when you are your thoughts

you are into them

meaning you are identified with them.

How ?

it is like when you are riding a car

you cannot see the car from the outside.

This is the most close example, I can come up with the thoughts identification.

If you are identified with your thoughts,

you are in them

you can't see them

meaning you can't observe them from the outside

only then you see that for what they are

and are not limited or confined by them 

so here in my nightly explosive computer download 

I'll call it so

thoughts, of the past and the future where seen, from the exterior.

And this time, 100% seen from the exterior, as in pure awareness.

First point being; the pure Awareness of my own thoughts - which I experienced.

The second point, I'd like to highlight is the Power.

That is a mix of electric feel - no element of pain involved - with the sensation that it is so vast and alive.

Incredibly enough, in it located in a human being!

what a hidden wonder!

Lol a bitliek Dr Who phone box, where the inside is bigger than the outside.

No wonder that a human being in full power 

would be more powerful than any nuclear technology.

The third point I'd like to mention

is it is independent from you, the you as your usual day to day self.

so it is indeed a power that is in you and yet not dependant of you, the personality

while being the true you at the same time.

So the only part is the mastery of awareness that is missing.

Once you are freed from the bondage of your thoughts,

then with that Risen Power

where you direct you awareness, 

you can direct and move mountain of power I feel.

I think this is the meaning of reference by Jesus 

when he said you can move mountains if you have faith.

and faith should be understood as a Being in you

to have Faith

is to have the Kundalini Awakened

Once you have it Arisen 

like in Quran in chapter Muzzamil

it says O you enshrouded; Arise in the Night

The meaning in that verse is the command to the Kundalini to be cultivated 

at night 

the vigil at night 

will help it arise

you can't force a seed to arise 

you need to make it grow by watering it 

same here.

Also, the redness of the vision

reminded me of Surah Ar Rahman 

1. When the sky is rent asunder, and it becomes red like ointment:
2. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?

This verse came up in my mind.

One should understand that scriptures are meant as a coded text for all levels

from the average man understanding to metaphors which height matches the height/source of revelation.

So it would be unnecessarily fussy to explain the meaning to masses

and nor would it serve any purposes as even then it has to be experienced.

So no point in talks.

Scriptures are also more like rain that water your breakthrough

and also a roadmap to check where you are going through.

Lady Fatima (pbuh)

In the little fire lit house I could see Fatima (pbuh)

it was said "She is not the Queen of Heaven for nothing".

Though her destiny was to marry Ali (pbuh),

Had she not guarded her virginity by being cautious of the man/suitor who presented himself 

in front of her door

the marriage with Ali would not have materialised.

She kept the door shut to him.

From there the lesson that applies is that spiritual people 

should guard their spirituality

when at their door any worldly suitor shows up.

Spiritual people marry the heavenly chosen one,

and guarding one's innocence is one's own responsibility 

till the promised auspicious match happen.

Going for a person who does not cultivate what I would. call an earthly marriage, 

however nice the person is, would be signing one's own spiritual death.

Kiss

The Crown and the Furnace

 Right after meditation yesterday 

I was going to sleep and in vision 

I saw a diadem 

surely on head of shri mataji 

but weirdly enough,

this time focus was on the crown 

not on She

instead she was a bit like faded 

so focus was brought on the crown

zooming on it

there was a red stone 

and in it I could see 

the reflection of a fire 

a bit like when you look through glass and see the fire burning behind the glass

and just before seeing the fire

I saw the light 

the spot of light was travelling to the forehead 

The crown representing the sahaswrara

now that I think of it

the crown forms does represent flams leaping 

just forged now in some gold metal and fixed.

And the light spot ascending

ported by the kundalini at its end,

is the soul from the belly 

which when meeting the spirit in the heart

got en-lightened

Noor 'ala noir

light upon light

ie

light of the spirit upon the light of the soul.

and the process of this soul being purified

goes through the fire purification 

at the fireplace of the Agnya,

hence the red stone.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VR5dlAfgn5I

Right attitude in cultivating righteousness

 Best summary of key basis to self purification - from the intent perspective

Letter: 24/The Trap of the Opposites 
  
 

        beloved bhakti, 
  
    Love. Anger, violence, greed or envy cannot be overcome 
    by the cultivation of their opposites. 
    Because anger itself will cultivate its opposite. 
    And violence will be present in its cultivated non-violence. 
    So always be aware of the hypnotic spell of the opposite. 
    It never solves any problem. 
    Because it is beating around the bush. 
    Do not fall into the trap of the opposite. 
    But understand anger, violence or greed or anything else 
    directly. 
    To seek the opposite is a way of escape. 
    To seek the opposite is cowardice. 
    Live with your mind as it is. 
    Do not try to change it. 
    Be brave to face it and to understand it. 
    When the light of awareness falls on anger, or greed, or 
    envy, there is a change. 
    Awareness acts as a catalytic agent. 
    And then anger does not change into its opposite. 
    It is not that violence becomes non-violence. 
    But there is no-anger. 
    There is no-violence. 
    And when there is no-violence, there is no-mind. 
    And an altogether different dimension opens its door. 
    The dimension of the spontaneous. 
    The dimension of the Divine. 
                                                                       22-5-1971. 
  

source: http://oshokala.bizhosting.com/ol24.htm

Sun Disk and creation

During meditation I saw shri Mataji in a white sari

Then I saw a black thread necklace with a Huge golden disk - like sun 

Spirit said that the black thread represents the blackhole 

and the disk the sun

suns that got created and scattered into the creation, 

representing thus the Big Bang.

At the end of meditation, I again saw shri Mataji face 

in the white clouds.

Fire Kundalini

 Since three days, 

whenever I close my eyes

I just see a huge fire

yellow flames in the center

and red one on the outside

flaming the whole time

myself I am sitting in front of it

at some point 

last time

it dawn on me 

after I felt a big hit in the mental space

that with fire we carve images in the mind

these are hypnotic 

we live in these images 

another world is a dream

the life we live is in an hypnotic mental state 

where we have created these images and this dream 

but we, as attention, got so much sucked in 

that there is a symbiosis between the mind and the image in the fire

once I jerked back out of it

then I had a good headache

imaging being plugged for years

once you are unplug 

how do you think your mind will feel?

that was like this.

This is why the more you look for something

you will never see this thing

because you are it

once unplugged

then you can see the fire

and that thing will be in the realm of the fire

from there you can see it

Underworld and the Higher Self

 At the beginning of my meditation 

 I saw myself sitting in meditation with the root chakra in touch with the earth 

I could see the earth from a vertically sliced perspective

there below a drop of water was engulfing a hell like realm in it

and linked back to the root chakra

Before flushing it

with attention I made sure that it remains contained in the plasma drop 

like the foetus is in a plasma

then I enlarge the plasma to get a bigger bubble around it

so that when I flush it, it does not disperse but remain contained.

At the end of my meditation 

I saw the Space 

the stars 

and the outlined body of a meditating Buddha 

sitting in the above

in the constellation 

as his body was all made from space and stars 

and the outline was made in a shiny silver like colour

lent from the star light surely

I feel like calling it my Higher Self.

Progress in meditation

Finishing my morning meditation:

I got a the vision of a fire that was lit and grew so high, meters high.

Then, scene shifted to tibetan monks meditating in a cave, but their back were screwed with fake metallic squeleton on top of their spines, like in the movie Equilibrium.

Spirit said, this is symbolic of their rigidity, as they use their right side to cultivate, the mind.

Then scene shifted to a huge Cobra standing in its tail, and coming out of a cool breezy fog.

Again, was told is a very good sign about the growth of my kundalini.

After, I saw some symbolism about the laziness of mine, just saw white bed which split opened in two like a door.

I guess this is the next purification of the entity in me.

Haven't seen it yet. 

Was told like for laziness, to purify laziness you need to go slowly.

True, I'd say like a seedling that makes it way through the rocks to the sunshine.

Be persistent and constant. Little by little and lose not the vision of the goal.

Oh at the end, I was told 

Why I do not read the bible, as I (Spirit) did read the whole Quran.

So now am on read gospel of Thomas.

At the end, it was said:

"Water still by 28. I need to go now. End meditation".

Lol I didn't get it first what it meant.

Then, when I opened eyes, saw the clock, it was past 27.

Then, I realised, end of meditation now as attention/connection with spirit comes to a  standstill for now.

The Firmament and the churning

I saw there were curtains folded up on side of the window.

And this is the agnya.

The both channels are covering up the agnya this way.

Some people play with agnya to see in astral. But know it is only the window.

Go for the door/exit instead, in the sahasrara.

This exit on top of Sahasrara is directly linked to an Axis in the upper Spheres, I call it the Firmament. As it is beautiful.

The constellations in there rotate like a disk and turn your axis in the Sahara and this in turn, spirit said, opens more nadis.

It reminds me of the churning of the sea in indian scriptures.

Also, this is awesome when I saw that!

All my upper body is cool now lol 

While writing this.

 Sahara ra is cool and i feel silence in head and it is flowing till elbows.

Time to meditate for lunch break i guess!

Kiss 

The fighting gods and the Matrice

 The dream.was real, I felt it as if I was living it, like in a day. 

I could touch, smell, feel the actions of the gods, of the fighting gods.

For I saw what happened eons before, in space, there were like 3 gods which were fighting.

But their fight was particular, I would call them Titans, Huge, Powerful gods.

They were throwing at each other their own sun.

Formidable blasts were occuring!

After the dream, I asked the Spirit, it said that this was the war in heaven, the big bang.

Power. 

They were tied and one to their environment.

The sun was not an outer sun only, it was a star tied to their VERY OWN being, and they were so deftly MASTERING AND STIRRING IT and throwing it. It was a POWERFUL MASTERY.

But oh so destroying, not to say stupid, as it seems story repeat itself.

 Today, during my yoga session, all of sudden I felt SO POWERFUL, i mean i felt a rush of power that explained me, rather gave me the above insight about being one with your environment and mastering it at your will.

Humans now are unaware 

Yogi know have little awareness but still,

I was given this insight during the yoga,

THE POWER is not power, as you think of this word, lol it is so corrupted word as people take it subjectively.

No. 

Power is the PURE BILLION WATTS OF ELECTRICITY going through you and THEREBY HEIGHTENING YOUR SENSES!

THIS IS HOW WHAT YOU KNOW OR FEEL AS PER YOUR HUMAN ABILITY is let's call it water colored vision of the world, it reflects your already fainting power of perception.

But,

Once the Juice go through, this is an ATOMIC BIRTH OF A STAR! WHICH EXPLODES YOUR CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM IN A GOOD WAY!

YOU CAN FULL FORCE SEE, SMELL, HEAR.

IT IS YOUR SENSES, BROUGHT BACK TO YOU!

BUT THIS TIME, it is vivid colors, and it is moving flow of images and life itself.

IT IS 

IN BRIEF,

THE LIFE YOU NEVER EVER LIVED!

And YET WHICH IS YOUR BIRTHRIGHT!

BE GOD. 

YOU ARE IN GOD, and you don't know it.

And GOD is in you and now you know, but just needs to FEEL IT FULL FORCE. That will be the real vivid color painting with all of your senses mastered and engaged.

After this dream, I got another vision where i was feeling how the snake like energy was entering in me from the root chakra and there is no stopping. 

You can't stop it. I got afraid and tried to stop it like pull it away, but it was like a magnet being aspired upwards.

Later spirit told me this was the inception.

Need to inquire more about it.

Apparently, this is how the kundalini got merged with mankind. 

Remember that you are god within

 Waking up today for meditation at 3.30 I saw in vision,

How in space a god was taken by a symbolic huge hand/fist and thrown like a slingshot on Earth 

And there, that god was covered in a white like shawl and was wandering the earth.

That's when the voice said and now you wander there, like a beggar.

The spirit said this means that we are gods

and have been sent on earth to reincarnate there.

And wandering like a beggar means being unaware, lacking this pure awareness.

This makes sense,

especially that if you know not your power,

then you are a slave and are thus in a position of a beggar.

Real Food/Sustenance is from God.

And you can get it only once you get the breakthrough for your awareness. 

And thus remember who you are.

Purification 1 & 2

 

Once the meditation is set into routine

the natural fruit 

should be to follow what catches your attention in yourself.

And then, where your attention goes, energy goes to purify.

Only if your intent is so, of course.

The good thing, is the self purification

hardly no one really talks of it

because there is shame

why shame if you are not that which you observe?

If you are the Spirit within

then who. cares of your past

and who cares of your defects?

But you should care of one thing though,

am I willing to pry into myself and get it purified?

Only this desire will move your Shakti to purifies you

as you are giving her the green light, saying

I am ready, go ahead show me my dark secrets I swapped under the carpet

as I couldn't face myself.

Blaming someone else for some misfortune, doing it once; why not.

Because we are human after all. 

Besides, self controlling anger as a habit, will only hurt you down the road.

As you are refusing to face your inner frustration.

But this is only on spot reaction; that is say justified.

At the same time the opposite is also true.

Under the pretext of letting anger out, 

you make it a habit.

Then, you turn into evil.

What is the common point of both?

Habit.

Both are extrems once they become a habit.

So one should learn to cut ourself some slacks,

while ALSO learning to self purify, self correct oneself.

As there is no habit, but only Present enjoyment.

And present is never the same.

Personally, I applied this method and to this day; in less than say two months, 

I saw I got two entities/possessions/negativities out of me.

LOL

some people are dramatic thinking of possessions,

as if they don't have any.

If you have none, then trust me you won't be reincarnated there..

Even prophets got their heart blackness kicked out of their nadis - cf prophet Muhammad childhood story.

Passing by much can be said about this, but not the point here.

Point is,

If your attention is away, 

then, I ask you,

who is IN?

Your Attention is all you have.

Spirit is in your heart, 

yet your attention is outside,

so who is ruling your body, emotions, 

when you are away from your temple/home?

These energies, are the possessions in you

you are possessed

all to some degrees.

Only once you are 100% the Pure Spirit Within,

then trust me, 

only then you are FREE (from these entities, possessions).

Now, space to my victory,

in October, I went through real challenge during my trip,

which is due for another post,

and this challenge brought all of my anger inside out.

Trust me. 

That was good stuff.

All accumulated anger, can I say from this life time at least,

if not from past life included, god knows...

But the good part to it,

this straightened up a situation where politics was involved,

happy to say, that the anger combined with the Shakti, 

straightened up the situation.

But that was on spot.

Nothing to dwell on.

I forgot about this happening.

But the second good thing was,

I kept my meditation practice,

and the intensive stuff.

I.e. I kept observing.

Once back from my trip,

at the end of some meditation,

I got a vision of a fabulously ugly entity

with tooth as sharp as a shark.

And then, after it popped into my vision it left.

So that was the anger in me.

Now, can we praise Ange and say it is divine ? no.

Can we hide the anger and self force to some artificial behaviour? no for me

But if yes, then you stay with it; Because that which you hide; and refuse to face, you will keep giving it shelter into the darkness.

Can we be complacent with our own anger and go to the extent of self admiration and self praise? no.

So neither can one self beat, nor self praise; ie no judgement.

Just let it be, let you feel it honestly in the moment and just by intent of self purification, through observation (as the light in your vision is that of the spirit),

this entity is seen

brought to light

then you see it,

and it has to leave your body, your nervous system.

Because

I AM BACK in my own temple.

This is how you glory God within.

You kick out all that other entities from the house of God that is you.

The sooner; the better. Trust me.

Second entity; 

next month, in November 2021.

Days before, I was just feeling love while looking at a pencil.

And challenged myself, let's see if I am healed, ie can get it as a permanent state.

Of course next day; I got, I don't even remember why lol, all sad and depressed.

Out of Nowhere. 

Just remember to increase my meditation when I felt so.

So this means it got caught on spot by the inner vision of light.

What I saw next?

Another entity, sitting on a bed in a dark room, 

face triangular, dishevelled so sad, depressive and gloomy.

And gone.

Now both times, the timing count, you catch it on spot

with no judgement against yourself, as you are the Pure Spirit Inside.

But you shed light there was none before.

And you can never do it at will, unless like the firmament that keeps shifting in a circle,

when comes the time and you feel the pressure of the negativities,

just know it is in you, it is the right time.

And just observe,

and let it go.

Now, as I got it; I asked the spirit, how many left?

12. was the answer.

Must say, I wasn't expecting so much. 

Depending with comparison to others, so little.

All is a question of perspective really.

The auspicious dreams though like the one of this morning,

are good as they tell you, you are ok, you are on track.

That dream, I got it; once last night I remembered, as I keep forgetting like a good human

that I am not my thoughts 

so the image, analogy is,

Be like a Teflon material,

let thoughts slide on yourself.

You are not them.

Then, I can remember, not fall into the trap of identifying myself with new thoughts.

Finally, I'll be able to sense what is the next emotion that keep sticking to that teflon.

There I'll catch it and shed light on it.

See when it is next.

so far rhythm was one per month.

Light Body Ascension

 Waking up this morning for the 3am meditation,

I saw in a vision; a chair lit with a spot of light, all around darkness

On the. chair; there was a woman sitting, covered with a beautiful long brocade shawl falling to the floor.

May be golden brocade with blue fabric. Very honourable design.

She had no body nor face to be identified.

It was plain shining particles forming a body of light under the shawl;

And the shawl was sagging little by light, 

as the light body was streaming upwards like a 

a river of light sucked up.

I was told after this is the ascension of the Shakti.

Glory and Patience

 In dream, I saw a baby soul (someone I gave self realisation to) that I was taking care of

she said "all glory to me"

I told her no; and showed her my two fingers (index and middle fingers - representing vishuddi and nabhi)

and told her,

"it works in pair

All glory is to God

and yours is patience."

And then, put her to rest.

Desire, love and growth

My desire is to study.

My love is to share the knowledge.

My growth lies in the Silence that feeds me,

With the 3D images of another Reality.

Bless be the River that flows in me.

Think not, but Know

That which is the floor to you 

is the ceiling to another.

That which is a 3D image to you,

once written,

is a poem to another.

That which is an atom to you, (atom)

is an agglomeration of molecule to another. (eg cloud, collection of atoms)

Likewise,

if you point at an idea,

it is an image to another.

If you point at God within you,

it is an image to be worship to another.

Living on different levels,

does not make communication easy.

This is why only, personally experienced Truth, is Truth.

Because mind looks for words,

hence gets the images.

Instead get the silence in the mind,

look at the images,

and get the coded message.

Do not think,

but know.

This is the right way.

Attention is all you have

If your Attention is all you have.

If your Attention is outside, here and there.

Then, who is ruling your Temple, 

when you are away?

Prayer: All that is impure in me

All that is impure in me, Mother I give it back to you, for You to purify.

All that is pure, I give it back to the Whole for me to keep growing.

Growth happens when you give back, the best of you, ie that which is pure, so that your cup be emptied for the next refill.

Hate, Love or both?

Striking the balance between what is in your hand (creation) and what you shall not judge (destruction), otherwise you will be judged in return.

If you are in conflict with someone and take revenge. 

As a wise friend said to me, 

No one attacks another, unless they love doing it in the very moment. 

Because truly, you will never do what you like not, you will find a sadistic emotional satisfaction while hurting back, taking revenge. So why not continue on that line? 

Because hate can never be sustained. 

True. 

To fight, and sustain the hate, you need much energy, and it is how you feel wasted. 

Love, instead is your friend. 

It is the one that Self Sustains Itself. 

One of Allah attribute, muslims know them, but do not yet see it is pragmatic teaching for a daily life. And not just a rot learning with a nice faith to be framed on wall for display and proof of your tenets. 

God is pragmatic, is real, is Life. 

So why your teachings are still dead in your life? 

Do not try to hold people accountable for what they did against you, as it is said God judge their action, will not ask you about theirs but about yours. 

Which means also, this is where you can strike the balance. 

Creation is based on Balance. Cf surah Ar Rahman 55. 

If you meddle with others affairs/revenge, you will not create, but destroy. 

And you can never sustain destruction. 

The well will dry out anyway. 

Plus, the kundalini has the safety clip, not to be able to ascend if you block her way by new obstacles/burdens. 

As your energetic centers reduce when depleted or blocked by extreme actions that need to be purified, if it is your will. 

This is you being judged in return. 

Also, in Spirit, if you let it go, by not trying to take the other accountable and taking revenge, 

you will gain mercy instead of justice/judgement. 

And what the mercy is? 

It is to grow, as gardens do. 

Growth brings with it new opportunities to be experienced. 

Garden under which rivers flow. Surah Ar Rahman. 

How would you have Gardens unless you are watered by the kundalini? 

And we can not dodge the Judgement part. 

Secret is... 

My inner Mother is the same Mother in you. 

My Spirit is the same Spirit in you. 

You can thus bet that this won't be forgotten. 

But your role is not to focus and wait on the revenge. 

The sadistic part is where you secretly wish for the fall of the other on one hand, while you advocate on the other hand Love..? 

How is that sincere? How can you preach love and yet, when someone wants to improve, you want his or her downfall out of revenge, envy, jealousy or just because you can? 

Women are best for that. 

They are, in truth, each other enemies. 

Friendship lasts the time it lasts, the common temporary enjoyment of the hour they are together. 

But once the warmly chit chat is over, the dark face of the moon appears in its full glory: in its full darkness to be exact.

Again, it is good, as long as you see it and resolve to let it go. 

But when it becomes a habit, because no one sees you. 

Know that you only have the choice of one attention. 

You intend to experience destruction, degradation of the other, you will. 

And the pleasure will be so long. 

You intend to experience an ever lasting bliss? 

Then, keep to your course, as it is a reward, once your spirit is watered enough to be awakened. 

But if you waste your water, even 40 years wandering in desert will not be the end, but your ever lasting loss. 

The tragedy is you will not even remember what you were looking for in the first place,

when you in-carnated on earth. 

As the rainbow below in the video, we are made of water to shine. 

People wonder about this being the creation of God, 

I say you are also made of water and you are also the creation of God. 

We do not see our own , literally speaking, rainbow, because we made a series of choices to experience more the clinging onto the judgement than on the mercy.

Choice between good and evil. 

Attention is one, ie you can only experience one thing in the moment, the revenge or the grace. 

Never both at the same time. But because of our free will, we think we are free to get the revenge and yet also expect such rainbow-like reward from God 😅  It is one or the other.