PARIS BLEEDING...

Tonight
Paris was under a series of attack
so far it is said 7 places have been targetted
along with the Stade of France
where bombs exploded
some says kamikazes..

It is a Great Shock
France is under a Great Shock

the first images i saw
the faces of the people
they looked so shocked
and with a blank look
all looking at the tv screen hanging in the Stade of France
with such a horrendous and shocking look

seeing them all
looking so
as a mass

and hearing the witnesses
even the male ones
on the verge of crying
when describing the death toll

it was very sorrowful
to realise
that those attacks hit parisians
and brought French people all into a Great Shock

the Emotion in their throat
at some point DOES end up showing itself
as an outburst..
in ALL interviews

it just shows
Hurt.

For the second time
in the History of France
France is in the State of Emergency
which is a pre war state

for sure
Life will never be the same

For this time
Nation as a whole
has been hit
in the heart

France Heart
is bleeding..

Personally
it shocks me
as to how
war can be exported
within a few days
from one continent to another..

these terrorists are crazy
but above all
inhuman

nothing remains in them
of humanity ...

The more i put attention
on the large scale killing
the more i feel the heart itself
sad
and i even feels the tears

on the heart
it feels like a soft hit of sadness

speaking only
for myself
so far
i have never
felt so touched

and again
what the heart is feeling
is what the parisian are feeling

a few weeks ago
i had seen in dream
angel Gabriel
and i saw him being split
i saw his body being split in two..

Spirit said
this means the Great War
will come..

i could not envision
that it could be so real
i only thought it was the war over there
which would worsen at worse
but no
is a war that will enter
into every people's mind and become
parts of its life

how can one after such a shock
remains in old life patterns?

as i was writing this post
i felt progressively
a new waft of scent
and now is persisting on the tip of my tongue

and now
i feel a great coolness on my heart
and i feel now
my whole left channel cool


it is what makes me feel better.

Kiss me

:) that's a sweet song,
for a sweet you! :x

from Sixpence None The Richer

"Kiss Me" is track #13 on the album Sixpence None The Richer. It was written by Slocum, Matthew Preston.

Kiss me out on the bearded barley
Nightly, beside the green, green grass
Swing, swing, swing the spinning step
You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress

Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor, lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me

Kiss me down by the broken tree house
Swing me upon its hanging tire
Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat
We'll take the trail marked on your father's map

Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor, lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me

Kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor, lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me

So kiss me
So kiss me
So kiss me

Songwriters
SLOCUM, MATTHEW PRESTON

Published by
Lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.

Read more: Six Pence None The Richer - Kiss Me Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Colored Lines Game for the brain

i discovered
a very interest stuff
about the functioning of the mind

i was playing this game
http://www.gamesforthebrain.com/game/colorlines/

and i could have played it many times in a row
would have been stucked at a low score of 100
when i had not my self realisation

but now
after a long while
i just played it
as a means to try the focus of my attention

and i can score in average over 300
with the upper range hitting around 400
and a record breaking score of 508

and this?
only within a week of trying it

and i can see my mind skill changing
while i am playing the game

how is it?
before i was not familiar with the frame of the game
once i became familiar
i could focus on the immediate right moves
hence a score averaging 150

but then i thought
where is the solution for a higher score?
for there must be a solution
a kind of move i see not
and see not REPEATEDLY
so i desired to see the little change i could do
in my thinking
that would impact my score significantly

so... after i could anticipate the computer move
by using the feeling
in the belly
like say how the computer will block the ways
and prevent me of making my line full
hence a score averaging 200

see?
incredible
how a LITTLE change of mind
can cause such a beneficial HUGE improvement?

then i could have a more expanded vision
of those moves i used to neglect
in the habit of my playing
is like i could feel the color ball
that i was neglecting in my next move
as a habit
hence a score averaging 250

and the extra 200
is just about being able to stay constantly focused
and doing all of the above
without relapsing into some daze

for now by contrast
when i used to score 100
i can see my past state of mind
it was just doing a move
and then staying still
like in a daze/asleep
and then wake up for the next move

so it remained off/passive
while now it can remain on/active
more focused over a longer period of time

so imagine
the game is just a measure of your mind
if you can have that kind of healthy mind
applied to your area of interest
you can bet you would perform better

plus i realised with this game
you just learn to move colored balls
in ways you would have never thought before
and it impacts your life as well
as you "naturally" make more creative new move
that you would have never done before

why?
because you KNOW
you have to change to find some solution
for why changing winning ways?

this is why mostly pain
brings change
not really happiness
happiness move us not to search for more
again, why would it?
for what changing winning ways?

for don't forget
your mind is a tool
if you use it well for one thing
it is the same tool that will serve you
when you use it for something more special
and that you love in your life

this is why one should
never neglect the present
and appreciate even
and especially the very insignificant stuff
we do daily
as much as a game

for the future exists not
only the present
if you value it to your maximum of ability
you can bet that your future would be the best potential ever possible
because of the care you gave to the present

so never scorn anyone
who is in your surrounding
in your very present moment
don't make comparison among people
about who is more interesting for your "future" socialisation
cause the future as such exists not

but look at everyone around you
and try your best to appreciate all of them
for each of them are there to teach you something
some lesson for you to create a future that you would love to live in

this is the real meaning of unconditional love
is to love your present
to everything that is in your present

if you happen to dislike and hate
some aspect of it
then try to let them go
so that you may allow yourself
to have a more expanded vision
and know how to move ahead in advance
then you become a winner!

Don't try to vibe me

I came across this very nice saying
reported by some sufi guy today - by chance of course :

"i don't like forced conversations,
forced friendship,
forced interactions.

i simply do not force things.

if we do not vibe, we don't vibe."

that one i love it!
as simple as that.

things are as they are
because we match or not by our vibes.

but vibes are temporary
and are a matter of choice
and some choices
once done
become a permanent life path...

so you better vibe good
when you choose!

if we meet low vibe people
they can either raise in vibes or stay stuck in theirs.
is a matter of choice.

this is why one cannot really force
is a matter of choice really.

one can compensate
till some point.

but after
if there is no desire
one can't really tag along with them.

for what would one benefit from?

one should meet people
who are willing to rise...

which is rare
people love their own comfort zone

if they meet someone better than them
instead of raising through their surrounding "sea of vibes"
and become part of it and arise likewise

they shun it
just to be able to keep believing
the illusion that they are all good

only God is all good

but if they meet lower people
then they feel themselves
invested to teach and educate them

so, that, becomes the comfort zone
to be preserved:
the safeguarding of the "ego"

but if you wish to move on
with the desire to meet people
with higher vibes than you

then you can bet
you can find those higher realms/seas

because creation is infinite.

and if you blend into higher realms/Seas
guess what happen? 

Cool fountain and pond of water gushing from head

yesterday night
as i was deep asleep
i felt a very cool pond of water on my right head side

was liek water gushing forth
it woke me up
and then a pool
i felt like i had a pond of water
on my head
and was about to fell on my face

next time
i will remember
to abandon myself to its sensation
and let it flow
and expand

cause without that absolute
submission/abandoning of oneself
the Shakti cannot work against my will

and that very night
i dreamt of the nucleus of the earth
how its magnetic power
went from it
into my body
and how from my body
i could use it to bend an object in front of me

that's a nice taste of power

and i guess is
the more you are open
and thus ready
the easier is for the kundalini
to pass through you

then you use intent
for what you wish to accomplish
and if God will it happens

Queen of Sheba

Yesterday i was having
a very nice dream
jeeeez is the very moment
alarm rang lol

i kept closed eyes and ears just
to be able to stay in the dream
hahahaha

in the dream
i was ascending a spiraling staircase
it has 7 levels

i arrived at the very last
and the room was empty
except for a Book that was
on a holder in the middle of it

it looked like an old book
i saw the page covered with
handwritings of many people
who had written/engraved their name in it

me too i did same
i can even see myself now
i engraved my name in it :)

i remember
i read the surah fatiha
while i was reading it
someone near me
was feeling pain

like this surah was
protecting me from this not so good lady

hmm,
and then i think i saw that page with names
written on it
and i wrote mine

see?
Fatiha,
contains the letter in arabic Fa
Fa has the meaning of "opening"
beautiful isn't it?

for muslims
Fatiha is also called
by the other name
"The Opening of Quran"

while they only take it
literally as "opening chapter of the book"

what they don't know
is that Fatiha
refers to the opening of your fontanelle area
after your kundalini passed the 7 chakras
and that is where everything takes its meaning

and for myself only
Fatiha refers to Fatima
the Queen of Heaven
about whom is known
its followers cross the Bridge
and are not burned by hell fire...


intuitively
the Book was the Book of Life
is the book where your name is written

intuitively
the feeling was that this book of Life
is called in islam Ilyeen

muslims know that heaven has many levels
and the highest of it
is Ilyeen
the highest gardens

i always prayed to get this one
for i wondered
if i could pray for heaven
why not aiming for the highest?

lol

then
there was a switch of scene
and i was like another me
looking at the scene from "up high"

actually
i saw my future
the country i would live in ...
i saw the house
the street

and i could see from its window
people
many people
coming to visit

they were all coming
rushing
with a purposeful visit

i saw the kind of people
they were
i saw how they were dressed
and myself i was amazed
at this such a nice visit

in that dream
i saw the Queen of Saaba/Sheba
isn't it strange i said to myself
why is this Lady visiting me?

just wondering so
i woke up
and yes wondered again
isn't she from the past?
then why have i seen her so alive?

ps : i know now
why the Book of Life
is called so

is because unless
our soul join the spirit
we are dead

unless we realise
this self realisation
we are not in the Book of Life

because Spirit is the Life Force
if at your time of death
your soul has not joined the Spirit
crossed the Bridge to find its way
to the light

then your memory got erased
and you are reborn
having forgotten everything

like in the Matrix
it is reloaded
and you are reborn
having to go through everything again
not remembering your past experiences

because your consciousness dies
the rest which is your subconscious
becomes your next consciousness (the reborn one)
and got again a Life Force to live

but the actual YOU
this "soul/experiences of this Life" (isn't it beautiful -  these words ring so to me : "this soul of this life is you")
is lost...
as it does not get the Eternal Life...

Vajrayogini - The Trauma Goddess

After that Vajra Goddess dream,
i had found such a nice article
that i wanted to post it
i find it is very pretty

i love the way it is written
and especially how "dark" symbolism
are explained

as some numbnuts
get into thinking
that God has some vampire facet lol

they should read the interpretation of
those "dark" symbols
as they are meant to be taken

also i love the last line
which says :

Who have taken on my dark grace
I open a path of shining light 

the wording dark grace
is very cool!
first time i hear the word of grace
associated with dark

and it resonates
as to the dream i had
where there was a pit darkness
and in it i could feel it was so full
of divine presence

and this article
is above all else
in accordance
with what i know :

under pain and trauma
one needs to apply cycles
to push up meditation even more

only remain one thing
to apply!

which is first hard to remember
and when i do 
i don't really wish to try
or if i try i don't try long enough

because by then the citta / consciousness
is so overcoming
and has such a strong handhold
that i feel like
some sleeper who is tinily half awake
or try to open eyes lid
can see
but has not the force
to wake up

cause when you do wake up
for real
from your pain and trauma
you know that you have won

as by then
is your witness state
that overpower your traumatised citta


Vajrayogini The Trauma Goddess

---

I am the diamond maiden, the player of games
The yogini is one of my forms
Showing that I am beyond earthly attachment
I am the shining revelation to the ascetic
The women in silk and roses
I am the harlot in black net and leather,
who gives enjoyable punishment
I am the glass bead master,
creating universes of form
And a spark of me is in each bead,
for I dwell in karma.
I am the Trauma Goddess,
the Lady of Pain
In return for devotion
I pull thorns from the heart
In return for obedience
I untie the knots in the belly and the head
I hold the vajra,
which gives and receives
I reshape family karma.
The Trauma Goddess is called for people in painful situations
Where anger and hatred block the path of the soul
I evaluate the benefits of revenge
And give better suggestions for spiritual growth.
I am not suited to polite society
To social striving, upward mobility, and making good impressions
I am radically honest, sensitive, brilliant, and blunt
I hold up a mirror to the best and worst facets of human life.
The Lady of Trauma is the mirror of pain
I reflect the disastrous ways that human beings interact
Then the reflections are stretched and distorted
With irony, and humor, and sadness
Loosening their grip on the heart
So that the person who seeks freedom
Can get a taste of being free.
My devotees pray:

Lady of Trauma, Lady of Pain
Ascetic and bhairavi and sannyasini and mistress
Pull me from the disaster I have made of my life
Save me from the evil machinations of others.

This is their prayer and I hear it in their hearts
As they chant my mantra.

Savior, Lady, Mother Goddess, bodhisattva,
Love me as I love you
I am desperate and bound
Free me by your grace.

I will give freedom,
but not without realization
Those who have been bound, bind others
Those who have suffered, cause suffering
I let them know how they have been affected
But also how they have affected others.
I do not wear bones because of death
I wear them because they represent what is beneath the surface
The blood that I drink is the evil karma of those that I save
And the karma is then halted and does not pass to others
I appear wrathful as I take on anger, hatred, fury, and the desire to destroy
Which are destroyed within me.
I am a dancer upon the pain of all mankind
I destroy the dark and corrupt
My compassionate side is hidden
But for those whom I love
Who have taken on my dark grace
I open a path of shining light
With pain and sorrow left behind.
 source : http://www.buddhanature.com/buddha/vajrayogini.htmlhttp://www.buddhanature.com/buddha/vajrayogini.html

Vajra

ah this morning
got up early
meditated
and after felt so sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy
so sweet is sleep
went back again to bed

then i thought i was awake
while i was having a vision
i tell you what
is like
you are in this 3D plane
and yet around you,
are other planes
which you can see

yes
it reminds me of the string theory
which says there are many dimensions
occupying one place..

this is WHY
at times
when i am having a vision
not a dream
but a vision
i know is real
because i am in my very SAME room/place
and doing same stuff
YET the people or person
i am seeing around me
are not the one of the 3D realm

is like people from other dimensions
are occupying this VERY place

and that fits totally
first time i realised today
the string theory

lol
who said science explains
not spirituality?

so lol
funny vision i had

i was sleeping in my bed
and suddenly
i saw a woman who entered my room
and while asleep
i said to myself
'why on earth they
allowed her to enter my room?'
i am sleeping for heaven sake!

hahaha

it was an indian lady
very joyous
she was waiting that i wake up
while sitting on my bed edge

but after meditation
i felt sooo tired
that i just felt dead tired
i had to sleep
i guess is my agnya who was getting purified

so i just saw her
to wait wait wait
and then she realised
i was too tired

she was sitting on my bed edge
and she left me the tray of sweets
she had brought to me

then still in my vision
i woke up
and saw the tray
and the sweets!

i exclaimed :
was real!

for i could literally
TOUCH the tray
and eat the sweets

i even remember
the feeling of the spoon
when i grabbed it

and i see myself
saying
incredible
the woman was real
for the sweets i am eating
are the very proof she left them for me
and thus she was there!

and the woman's name was Vajra

thing is i remembered
her name
cause i wondered
"what an uncommon name
never heard it"

i never knew
that such a name existed

and this morning
when i woke up
i really knew i met that woman
and had really eaten the sweet dish
i could enumerate what i ate
hmm yummy

and i ended up
checking on net
about the meaning of that name

and it happens to be
that it exists!

and not only so
but INDEED it is an indian name!

Vajra is a Sanskrit word meaning both thunderbolt and diamond.^[1] Additionally, it is a weapon which is used as a ritual object to symbolize both the properties of a diamond (indestructibility) and a thunderbolt (irresistible force).
It is also known as Bajra/बज्र (Nepali), vajram (Tamil), bojro (Bengali), bajra (Malay), dorje (Tibetan),^[1][2][3] dorji (Dzongkha), wajra (Indonesian), jīngāng, 金刚 (Chinese), geumgangjeo (Korean), kongōsho (Japanese) and Очир ochir / Базар Bazar (Mongolian).
The vajra is essentially a type of club with a ribbed spherical head. The ribs may meet in a ball-shaped top, or they may be separate and end in sharp points with which to stab. The vajra is used symbolically by the dharma traditions of Buddhism, Jainism and Hinduism, often to represent firmness of spirit and spiritual power.^[4] The use of the vajra as a symbolic and ritual tool spread from India along with Indian religion and culture to other parts of Asia.

The five-pronged vajra (with four makara, plus a central prong) is the most commonly seen vajra. There is an elaborate system of correspondences between the five elements of the noumenal side of the vajra, and the phenomenal side. One important correspondence is between the five "poisons" with the five wisdoms. The five poisons are the mental states that obscure the original purity of a being's mind, while the five wisdoms are the five most important aspects of the enlightened mind. Each of the five wisdoms is also associated with a Buddha figure. (see also Five Wisdom Buddhas)

source : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vajra


so i saw the goddess named Vajra..

and now it hit me
the day before
i saw a doorstep mate
with a four petal design

and i said to myself
"oh! again a four petal design"
as i keep seeing them nowadays

and now
i saw on net
that it is called a vajra!
which looks like a four petal flower...

and that woman represented it
woa
that is just my meeting
because i guess i was wondering about those 4 petals stuff

but still
there is no coincidence..
everything is linked

at least for that very specific
thing i can see it

it means the "signs"
that you get during the day
are not coming to you "randomly"

if they KEEP catching your attention
it means
they are from your higher self
and that something in you
is resonating with them

this is WHY they are standing out
otherwise they were always there
and you had never paid attention to them before
see?

and this is WHY
too my agnya was being purified :

The five poisons are the mental states that obscure the original purity of a being's mind, while the five wisdoms are the five most important aspects of the enlightened mind. Each of the five wisdoms is also associated with a Buddha figure.


see ? again
all that happen to be random
is actually linked

the fact of seeing a doormate with that vajra (and that symbol everywhere)
the fact of having that agnya purified
the fact of not knowing their meaning

found their reason to be when time was due

 

Transform your Fear into Fun

lol
i kept saying to my friend
since a few weeks
let's go tree climbing !

of course
routine habit is so much tenacious
that he never makes it out...

today
my desire was so strong
that i just say
let's go!

and we were out on our way...

now...
lol!
when i arrived there!
i was hitting my head
in my imagination
saying to myself
"dear! what happened to you?!!
you are the ONE who brought us there!"
i said this
when i realised how HIGH the trees were...

and i saw complications...

is very funny
when you have desire
you have magic sand thrown on your eyes
and you ONLY see the beauty of it
ahead of its time

and somehow
once you are in front of the very stuff
you desired so much
it felt like swerving for a split of a second
and footstep a bit shaky lol
and innerly
wishing to strangle myself
ahead of time
before EVEN having tried it

why?
because was ALL new
because was TALLLLL trees
because i had NOT imagined how it would be in terms of fears...
and only saw FUN

so desire/fun led me there
and then i discovered fear

actually when i looked around me
there were adults and kids
all mixed up
doing this tree climbing
and in each and everyone lips and minds
the word FEAR was placarded!

so i felt a waft of fear there!
lol but mixed with fun/success/ and
the STRONG conviction
and so dearly admitted
"YES there is fear
and NEXT there is FUN"

it felt so
this double FF hit me
like a waft
lady prepare yourself for Fear and Fun!


and guys
it was like that !

i had more Fun than Fear
actually i realised i have NO vertigo
and i sat on top of trees 10 to 20 m from the ground
legs hanging in the air

the hardest was to
bear my own weight for some activities
by the end of day
my arms felt like mashed potatoes lol

the activity i loved it!
i realised
that i had great balance
especially when i had to jump from
one moving to another moving wooden plateform
soooooo great it was!

initially
i was so paralysed
that my OWN feet was feeling LIKE glued
to the wood
i could NOT move it
even when my mind ordered it
it felt i was weighting 200pounds!

and then
i looked keenly at a kiddo
she was just directing her gaze
and her feet went where her gaze went to

and she kept doing it
and it felt so easy peasy looking at her!

and i could feel her excitement
for the next step
and for the oh-so-waited arrival!

so!
i just looked at her
and i imbibed myself from her state of mind
and i realised
what i think is what i experience
just like that!

and as i was thinking of fear and hardship
so it was what my body/experience of the game
was giving me back
heaviness and stiffness...

so, one i imbibed myself
of that girl state of mind
then, i did it!
while my friend had still hard time doing it

but as far as i was concerned, this time
i just progressed as if i was walking
on plain ground
my feet felt light
and so my body regained agility
and i did great split with my legs lol!

so yes...
ALL is in the mind
if your mind think is hard
then it gets hard

literally speaking
hard means heavy
and your feet BECOME heavy
and GLUED
and you can't move!

or if you manage to move
is like you are doing huge effort

so as i got the hang of it
everything in the mind
i imbibed myself from the lightness and fun
of the moment
and just made the whole circuit so FUN!

then,
two girls around 10 year of age
joined me
one said to me
while reassuring herself
"see, in this game,
there are moments we are afraid
and others were it flows"

jesus!
so refreshing this girl was!
ah! in countryside
i tell you kids are full of wisdom
and maturity and lightness

in paris
even the best of them
lack this freshness
and most of time look like crippled in their manners
cause they absorb too much from the environement around
which is so..

and was such a pleasure to chit chat with her

and now
even when i watch tv
or do anything at my job
it is like that
is LIKE the VERY scene is SPEAKING to me
TEACHING me
is so much hammer like wisdom hitting!

so when this girl said that
it felt such a deep wisdom
as if Life is saying me
"see dear?
Life is like that game
at times you are afraid
and at other time it just flow.."

beautiful!

there i was philosophing about life
while 15m in the air hanging between two trees
and swinging to reach my arrival spot lol!


ahahhaha

there was a SCARY moment
when i was there
cause had NO CLUE
of how to move ON

see?
that was funny
on this place you have to FACE
your fear
no way out!

a little boy was up high
and could not move
her mother told him
"see? you can't go back
just move on
you are safe"

again
this hit me
first i praised that mother
in myself
how good education she is giving to his son
through that game

then i praised that game
for there is no way backward
you are OBLIGED to MOVE FORWARD
either you do it or you die/lol of shame
cause you CAN'T just give up!

you HAVE to Face your Fear
no one can come and take you back
and there is no emergency exit
no dogging
face it or die(of shame) lol!

so when i arrived to the next circuit
there i was standing on the edge of tree
and 20meters away from me was the next landing spot
a huge net!
and inbetween nothing

there i said to myself
HOW on EARTH am i supposed to LAND there?

hahaha
actually was SO easy!
the rope was on the other side
so the girls helped me to slide it towards me
and then
she said
'now be brave'

hahaha
i laughed hard
cause i was so happy
to hear so much straight forwardness
i miss so much this kind of honest talk

and her maturity was just astonishing!

and then
i got the rope
and had to land on the net 20meters away from me
so i said to myself
"dear, think NOT!
just THROW yourself in the air"!!!!!


hahahahhaa
i did it!

and landed on the net
sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cooooooooooooooooooooooool!
mwha:x


and then
everything was easy peasy!
the BEST moments were when i had to do such long sliding
from one tree to another on a rope
just FAB!

see?
Life taught me clearly that lesson this day
"if you follow your desire,
then you can face your fears"

see?
before going
i had no awareness of my fears
sure i have no vertigo
but the unknown is a fear
not knowing is a fear
doing stuff you never did is a fear
not knowing how to use your body is a fear
cause you have to go out of your known comfort zone
and face your limits,
your untold and undiscovered fears

only the moment on earth
in 3D reveal them to you
and your experience
yes your very experience heal them
and then you transform your fears into FUN!