Free Will vs Slavery

How much of Will is Yours?

When you can FEEL your will behind an action
or even before meeting someone
when you can FEEL it

then is your Will

But if you go and meet a person or an event
with a blank mind
you won't obtain anything
except what your "luck" is

determined by your subconscious
fear, limitation, love or expectations

hence you will be like an empty vessel
which is thirsty for experiences
but let itself being filled
by the Will of others

this is how you can assess
how much FREE Will you have

Look at the actions of yours
how much of intent attached to them is actually felt by you as being Genuinely Stemming from YOU?

if you can't feel it and tell it
if you don't even know about this
then, you are unconsciously a slave to others' will

Just you don't know it yet.
Realising it
is becoming self-realized

Kiss;)

Lahore

Sharing my impression about my trip to Lahore...

there,
people are alive
everything is in movement
nothing is still
nor frozen nor rigid

everything flows

here if it rains
traffic jam and everything blocked

there people and the country as a whole thrives..
despite the constant blackouts and all kinds of pollution issues

Brave people they are

True Fighters for Life

is like they have some inside battery in their bodies
and they keep going on
doing multiple jobs and following their passion
and succeeding ...

is a pleasure to see life thriving

Sun is the Power
that sustains their energy

they are more in touch with nature
though they are more and more racing towards
western models of success

i hope earnestly they keep in touch with Nature

there i felt like swimming in a bubble of water
like walking in a dream
easy peasy

we have all kind of servants
for nearly everything

personal driver
hop and go
personal maid
the new trend is 3 maid per houses

Houses are like luxury hotels
Amazing to sleep in King Size beds

Wardrobes...Awesome
should i speak of Orgasm at this point? hahaha

women are real queens there

and i enjoyed so much
SHOPPING
EXTASE

all kinds of worldwide items at hands
so many colors
1200 colors in one shop
for the customers to find matching clothes...

and still if you are unlucky not to find
the matching thread to sew
they will order YOUR COLOR from India ...
and you have no HUGE costs for such demands

Life is soooo easy to serve you and your desires..

I just had to desire something
not to say it
not even to mention it
but to desire it in my heart

that next day i was brought where i wanted to go...

I was for instance
on a ride
and saw Pak Tea House
and i thought ah i want to go there

next day i met a cousin
and he spoke of the hyped place to go
where journalists or literature lovers go and discuss

and guess what ?! was that Pak Tea House
with a century long story

and third day... another cousin
who did not even know about it..
brought me there
without me mentioning it

same ...
i desired a Jewel set
forgot to buy it

my aunt
God knows how she guessed it
not only bought it for me
but customized the pearls to the color of my dress

i felt truly like ME there
natural respect and honor given to you as  a HUMAN BEING

not like an item

here by contrast
i see how people uses you
as if you were an item

but there
is so OBVIOUS
that you are YOU
and are treated as such


Lahore
i love the trees there
is like light falls from them
each time i go there
i feel i am in a dream
in a bubble where time exists not

my family is very special
i have so many innocent girl cousins

they are of my age range

you see innocence oozing from them
some kind of purity
you don't see here in western countries

is a combination of natural good manners embeded in you
without any artifical mannerism
and an inner glow of light
which makes you feel sweet
looking at them

people living in the moment
and being with you
not chatting with you and thinking about how to use you
or chatting with you with a pre-plan in mind

no
is very much in the moment
is what makes it clean
and Alive

cause is not mental dependent
of some past manipulative plan
or some future profit they could get from you

even...when a few had such intent
their behavior flashed out to me
as it was against the natural glow of others
they were obvious to me when they had some manipulative ideas

but was rare and childish

but in europ
people are like living in a dark cloud of past or future
hanging on top of their head..
no covering all of their head till down their shoulders and more..

not in the light air of the present

which makes their movement slow
hard
like you cut throw mist to live there

over there you are flowing in the current of light
and have smooth flying to your destination

hahaha about destination
my life was in God Hand
people doesn't drive there...
they play video games....

If there is Life and Harkat (Movement and dynamics infused from sun light in you)
the extrem is the MESS!! hahaha
but even that is a joyous mess i would say

here is perfect in terms of discipline
you obey the law
and you are on the motorway of life
you know where you are and where you go

but there is no surprise
no fun
is just motorway of life
where all is frozen
you can't move from left to right
you have to follow rigid rules all the time
and become rigid as well

Nature is "disciplined"
in the way it follows some patterns
mathematical patterns as you know

yet is flowing
and brings you surprise
thanks to its Creativ-ness

Here is what i miss...

we are not riders of Life
but Laws of life ride us
and we are more like donkeys bearing weight of our life

than Masters of our Life riding donkeys..

In Lahore i also had many good experiences
one of which is to have visited the Medical College where Mataji did her Medicine Studies

again i feel time exist not there
everything is like there as a Given Life in Eternity

I loved most the soil there
the nice smell of it
as i said the light falling from trees
and their special surely special leaves
i loved seeing so many pets and animals there too
the magic of desire and all of them being fulfilled
just because i wished for it

Kun Faya Kun!
Be and it IS

Yes... so many saints graves and shrines
i went to a College and it had a shrine in there!
Amazin
i went to a garden
again a saint
i went to an old Fortress
again a century old famous saint shrine

i think the country is still alive and thriving
despite all the issues be it economics, politics, hygien
it is still there and fine...may be thanks to the saints, shrines
which are as much alive place as any other lively café or tea houses

even the cemetry... it is all shiny and emitting light
is so peaceful...

here cemetries feels like doomed and sad and all grey

Jesus is another world there
there is beauty everywhere
Beauty increases when you see it


I miss Beauty

Is not the End that counts but the Journey

Is strange for me to say
what i am going to say
but i only realised it now that i changed...

I used to look at people as a whole
and think why they bother to decorate their house
and invest so much energy to set things
when they know they will eventually age and die

For me was puzzling behavior
i found it being useless, pointless
and because was purposeless eventually
the behavior was childish and even stupid to me
..seen from above..

After 10 years,
only now
i realised

is not the death that counts
meaning people don't live to die

but they live to experience those moments of life..
because they are precious

though i had lived life
because i happened to be alive

time was not precious to me
i just lived cultivating myself,
doing what i had to do
studying mostly
on my own

most on my life
i lived it on my own

and funnily
all this time i never felt i was alone

is only recently
when i experienced that me too
am mortal

that life for me started
and that i could sense that
all this time i had been lonely

but i could not have possibly realised that before
as only opposites teach us the existence of duality
of what is company
once is removed
what is loneliness

so in the past
i used to observe for a second, life
and just saw pattern
people are born, race to live
against time - like a time war - lost in advance
squeezing a boring routine in their schedule
they call life

and die.

but now...
i realised
while myself i immerged myself in It :
we don't live to die

but to experience these important moments

so in a way..
Death or being mortal is a blessing

as it helps you value those moments,
and each moments if you are lucky in keeping such awareness

and my second conclusion
i wonder ... looking back at myself

Am i an alien?

trying to understand human behavior
because i often feel i try to understand social behavior
that are a given for most people
but for me is not

as i feel i am not part of it