Sincerity and the Mirror

in my life
i was always independant
worked always on my own

only when my spirituality
started
i had to trust the teacher

i gave benefit of doubt
and that was hurtful

because to some degree
everyone wants you to be like them
so there is a great disrespect
of who you are

plus
it makes you lose clarity
of mind
towards the direction
that you cherish

because you discharge yourself
on the other
trusting
that it will be taken care of

and today i discovered
that what i like most
is sincerity of behavior

beause this brings openess
an open intimity in relationship
and thus this kind of space
once created
is very rich in itself

you know that
it can only thrive
and is filled with happiness

as is not about fakeness
deception
or hidding and manipulation

and thereby i understood
what we like most
we want to see it in the other

this is in this
that i wanted to make others
look like me

because what we each have
as main desire
or main quality in us
we want to see this quality

but how can we see
something that is hidden in us
and that at this point
we can only feel?

so our mind
try to project it on the outside
on the people
trying to see its trait
and its beauty

at best if we see it
we fall in love with these people
but in truth
we had already fallen in love
with our own quality

we just wanted to see it outside
to contemplate it
like ovid who fell in love
with his own image
in the lake

and the lake crying
when he died
and the nymphea
who used to run after him
asked the lake
why you cry
for you used to see it more often
than us

the lake said
i cry not for ovid
i cry
for i could see myself in him
i could see my own beauty in his eyes
when they contemplated me

when i read it
it awestruck me
for it is what i feel is true

so when we love to see
our own main spiritual quality in the other
at best we see it
and know not we are in love of our own Self

at worst
we keep searching it in the others
and when the others fail us
we blame ourselves for having trusted them
or them for not being up to the standards they claimed

truth is
we are just in love with our own Self
and each one of us has this very special quality
that he already love

the other
could be at best a mirror to us
so that we can contemplate ourselves in him
because it provides a space
for us to look into
and see our own self
without mixtures
so very pure

so all the way
is about you
so if you are lucky
to have found your mirror

then you should
not think the mirror to have this quality
that you can grab and possess
for that is an illusion

for you already have it

and as said the teacher
in the Alchemist

"mirror think not
they reflect"
[your own beauty]

Tibetan Book of the Dead - 3

listen carefully

you do not know who you are
where you have been
now you make your mind in the form of projections
which seem vivid and entirely real

now you ll see pepenetrating blue light
shining all around you

this is the essence of consciousness itself
buddha veyrochana

his wisdom is like a mirror
reflecting everything
he is the form of consicousness
in its complete purity

this wisdom is inseparatble from your own heart

but also you will see a diffuse white light
avoid it
if you follow the allure of the soft white light
you will find yourself ensnared
in the temporary pleasure of being born as a god

living lordly in the ignorance of the passage of time
yet subject to unexpected death

these are the deities  
there are the wisdom in his heart and mind
the 42 peaceful deities will emanate from his heart
and the 50 wrathful ones will emerge from his brain

they will come one by one
and then all together

the peaceful deities
are complete and unmoveable

if he cannot bear it
enter in their vast benevolence space
if he cannot let go of self centeredness and fear
these becoming will become terrifying wrathful ones

who drink the blood of his ego clinging and
crash all his delusion

if he recognises them
as expression of his own mind
they are  the unsparing face of wakefulness

the wrathful forms
emerging from dying man own brain
will appear as clear as if they real in their own right

the terror and anger he feels
are his own efforts to be compltely awake

and wander uncertainly
at landscape of his own mind
if he recognises it as his own  projection

liberation is instanteneous.

 ==> like wise
as this life is a transient life like bardo
except that we have control
and we recognise that all of this life
is the projection of our own mind
ie take full respeonsibility of it
and not blame another for being its cause
and accept all of it being our projection
with clarity of mind

then i guess we recognise is fake
and get this liberation.


the light the wisdom
spontaneous play
dances and break ripples on an empty lake


8 days after they brun the body
now i get it why
in order the death do not cling to its former body

loved ones release him from the bond sof attachement
to him
and his body offered to the fire

the tibetan woman
standing and praying 
like the muslims do
put her hands above her sahasrara
on agnya
on throat chakra
and then on the belly
joining hand as a triangle
and then prostrate 
with forehead on ground

it pretty much resumes the main chakras 
as i do on my cycles

Tibetan Book of the Dead - 2

kiddo :
what is the best path through this bardo?

is a question of waking up right now
look at your own mind
look at your mind when it is calm and still
and when is running wild

this is what buddha did
and what he taught and did


==>see ?
wonder if you or your friends or kids
ever wonder and spontaneously ask himself this question?
how will it happen?
death existence is hidden
ceremonies become ritual
no one really think about it
we think that it happens to everyone
as a bad luck
yet a natural death comes to everyone
at any time

and yet we hide cemeteries
and just make it taboo topic
if is so taboo then why we rush to secure our life?
instead of enjoying our life?

because inside we know 
we need to find a way out of instability
before instability get us
but how can we fight this instability which is out of hand since ever?

in this life time is easier
because we have control
thanks to our consciousness 
which is like a stearing wheel of a ship

but once dead
our subconsciousness with all its emotions 
and single experience we gathered
take over

no more control
we just lie there under the control
of what we "reap"
and we are facing 
our own created heaven or hell

but with current resources
of ideal circumstances such as self realisation
if we are not able to reach REAL freedom 
then when will we?

do you think a new Goddess will come back on earth
or in any other life time of yours?
what are the probablity
in a new next life
of having a freed soul to guide you to your inner self?
or to make you realise that meditation is the solution?

when you have it all now?
and don't even spontaneously wonder?

and what is the way out?

i wondered it even before even knowing
anything about spirituality
i used to look up 
and see about myself
as if i was in an egg
all sealed
and it was dark
and i wanted to "break through"

i remember those very words
i wanted to "break through"

as soon as i thought that
my friend who could read my thought
at that moment
said
"you have very advanced understanding"

was not understanding
understanding is a fruit
i have had a very strong desire

for i knew that all that 
marriage, work, and kids stuff
is just a prison
if i give myself to it
then i am done
i would be colored by the color 
of the life of the person 
i would entrust myself in
and that is so limited
how could i?

when my spirituality path was over 
once back from uk
back in France
this routine life who was 
about to become my future
i saw it
was like a death sentence to me

so far the only thing
that have made me strive with thirst for life
was to have a magic life
the one told in prophecies
the one that is filled with dreams of light
and prophets and angels
that i used to have
the one i had always heard of
read, dreamt and more or less day dreamed
the one that set the normal life apart from a routine one
and made my life worthy to be lived

the one which would make me free
from societal, familial and all kinds of boring circles
one can encounter

i have valued so much my life so far
do you really think that some new comer into my life
will say how i should live and breath?
how i should fit in? adapt and adjust?

even before meeting
anyone
i knew what i desired
though i could not name it
no one teaches
our own desires teaches us

as said in the the Alchemist book
of Paulo Coelho
"what is your Personal Legend?"

in other word,
what is your dream?

what is the alchemy?
if not the transformation of dream into reality?

the hero,
he lost it all
as soon as he  
started his dream ...

why?
because you need to give to God
so that he transforms it for you
trans-forming
makes the shift of forms
and you think you lost it all
while it is only taking another form
under your eyes
you just need to recognise it
for that you need to learn the read the signs around you
Life is the Book
the Book of life is NOW

this is an average muslim
won't get 
the Book of Life 
is being talked of 
in the Quran
and is not the quran lol
is the Book of Life

the very word "ayah" 
is used for this book of life
and ayah
means the SIGN
the pointers, the evidence 
the CLARITY of that sign
make you read the Life of yours
and know what to do next

like in the book 
the Alchemist
which refers very much
to the muslim spirituality
i.e. sufism

so living your dream
is not some romantic idea 
once exercised
is wit-nessing the loss
for a better gain.

but to be able to read
you need to know what you desire
otherwise signs are everywhere 
yet as dull as you are oblivous to your own desires

imitating others is not the way
standards of goodness are not the way
the way is your own inner desire
what Life gave you of opportunity to discover your dreams
and live them

when i realised i had done all i could
and found no way to break through
i kept having nightmares
as warning
and i could see every day myself
having more and more warning
to return to spiritual path
but how?
the warning were obvious
return or die

and is true
when i came back to France
i sat down on the edge of my bed
i felt real empty
for i realised so far i lived for that 
very desire of finding Truth

and realised that if 
i could not live for
what i desire
without my desire
i feel it is not worthy to be alive

and i desired Truth
this i felt it as hard as rock in me
very clear certainty

and then
people all around me
so well intended
profoundly well intended
but doing so much more harm than good

why?
because they thought the cure lied
in me living like them
marrying, having kids and doing a routine job

that this is the cure
to have a "normal" life

they wanted to bend me
by force of their will
thinking they are doing good to me

they wanetd me to look like them

so many times i tried to explain to them
but how could i explain something i could not even name?
i just knew is the Truth i wanted
and i wanted them to see through my eyes

but they were seeing it through their own filthers of their mind

i told htem
but look at your life
look at everyone's life
what you see?
you yourself admitted what a waste,
what a failure
what a senseless and unenjoyable routine

and those very people
in their lack of sincerity said
no i have had a very happy life

what a lie
if life was so happy
then why those sour faces?
and eternal complains?

why this worry
to settle
to stablise the unstablity around?
instead of trying to discover 
the inner pull each one of us 
have for life
that is called "treasure" in the Alchemist

because you know in truth that stability is the key

but you miss the point
is not the consciousness who needs stability
it is a passing element as earth and water and fire and ether

the only stability lies in recognising your true nature

as my uncle said to me
he said
listen to me
when he saw me seeking for certainty
he said
the only thing that never change
you know what it is?
i said
it is the change

indeed
in the change lies all the stability of the True mind

because you have to recognise its true nature

in this respect
he was one of the few who up to his limit
understood me

he knew at least i wanted Truth
but could not help more than that

yet
as time was passing
and i was getting dreams
of coming back to the path
the path of Abraham
the path of the Book
the path of Truth

yet i knew i could not
by my own effort
so i sought blessings
by any saints in disguise

it was like my time was counted

but anyone who was even a bit bless
still was unable to hear me
or see me

most of my family and friends
could only hear me
but never really listened

they could look at me
but never saw me

no one ever recognised
it was the pure desire of Truth

a few saw it
but had no way to help more
for we are all responsible of our own self

and my time was counted
but within myself
i knew either i find the way out
or is just finished for me
because if the desire is not recognised by anyone
able to help me
then life without desire cannot be lived

not because of a voluntary death
i don't want eternal damnation lol

no

because desire is the fuel of my life
without it
life would just cease to be
if there is no more fuel
the car stops

and then i got ill
i guess i was in bed at least for 2 weeks
got an illness which was impossible for me to have
especially at my age
i have been told i could have died of it
as was very bad in adulthood

as i often recall this period of time
was the worst of my life ever
each time i think the pain is gone
but is still there

because you can't know
unless you experienced it

how you can feel pain
when with all of your heart, mind, soul
with all of your life
you give up everything to seek for Truth

that you were so near of finding a path
to it
and all crumbles down

and you are back to zero
that day by day
you see all of your dreams going away
like dust

that you see
despite all of the good faces
and intent
people were just living dead

they have no real mind
they just
under pretext of doing good to you
trying to make you like them
depossessing you of your desire
and living a life devoid of life

and all of them
without exception
conspire for your good
when in truth
if they were on the other side
of the veil to see themselves
they would see they are only doing evil

because the desire of God
is the desire of Life
and killing life
is not only with guns
is when you remove the nucleus from the cell
and you say to the cell now live

but
my luck was
that Spirit saw me
and gave me back Life


by the way
one of the very first dream i had
when i entered spirituality
i was being told in dream
about al kimya

and when i woke up
i wondered what it was
and after seeking
i found al kimya
is the arabic word for alchemy
which means the science of transformation of metal into gold

transposed to a human being
is when you shift from your stone age to your golden age
when you reclaim your soul
when you untie it from the gross to the pure and refined
from the gross consciousness to the light of your true nature

for sure.


so what has been painful
was that i was there
but they were only seeing their mind in me
of how i should be
instead of how i am

then i realised
if they had seen themselves first
then only they could see me

this is how i learned 
first by experience
before even learning the words
what it was 

i can put the words only now 

such as spirit, not awakened to their own nature
living in their own mind, shadow of themselves
or that this life was like a bardo
you pass through it
while others want to make a stay in it
and there is struggle among 
who is the strongest to bend the other to its image

for this is why 
what i dislike the most
is to say to people what they do and should not do
for if i were to do that
it means i am wanting to control them
and make them like me

which is so fake
only real is when 
the person recognises
his own pure desire within
and only then
his acting will be authentic
and benefiting 
to himself and the others

if people have some degree of honesty 
and self sincerity 
then what they discover for themselves
they discover it for the others
for they can see themselves in the other

but what can you expect from blind people?

at best you can have compassion
when you learn along the way 

but now is over
that is past
and thanks to this past
i value much more the present
and aim at always 
following my pure desire

so what matters
is the desire you are entrusted with
not what people teaches you
of how you should or not be.

you gotta choose the real
and shed off the fake.

kisses to you:x

Tibetan Book of the Dead - 1

I recommend to have a good look at this series put in video
about the Tibetan Book of dead.
This name has been coined for its smiliarity of its content to the Egyptian book of dead. 

but its real name is :
The Great Liberation upon Hearing in the Intermediate State. 

meaning, 
this book was recited to the dead 
during the 40 days period following his death
for in this weakened state
upon hearing this word
he may in this transitory place called Bardo
recognise his true nature-if lucky.

Here is an excerpt of an article :

The After death experiences on the Bardo plane.

Foreword

This book is the first English language translation of the famous Tibetan death text, The Great Liberation upon Hearing in the Intermediate State. Also known as the Bardo Thodol which means "liberation by hearing on the after death plane" (Bardo: after death plane, Thodol or Thotrol: liberation by hearing), it was originally written in the Tibetan language and is meant to be a guide for those who have died as they transition from their former life to a new destination.

The work has been traditionally attributed to Padma-Sambhava, an Indian mystic who was said to have introduced Buddhism to Tibet in the 8th century. Legend has it that while visiting Tibet, Padma-Sambhava found it necessary to conceal sanskrit works he had arranged to be written. The Tibetans of that time were not ready for the spiritual teachings contained therein, so he hid his texts in strange and remote locations, leaving them to be discovered at a later time when their spiritual message could be received by those with an open mind.
The most famous of those that discovered and revealed Padma-Sambhava's writings was Karma Lingpa who was born around 1350 CE. According to his biography, Karma Lingpa found several hidden texts on top of a mountain in Tibet when he was fifteen years old. Within those texts, he found a collection of teachings entitled The Self-Emergence of the Peaceful and Wrathful Deities from Enlightened Awareness. These teachings contained the texts of the now famous Great Liberation upon Hearing in the Bardo.
The Tibetan Book of the Dead was first published in 1927 by Oxford University Press, London. Dr. Walter Y. Evans-Wentz coined the title because of parallels he found with the writings of The Egyptian Book of the Dead. The paperback and hardcover editions of the book contain extensive notes by Evans-Wentz about the conclusions he drew from the translation which, some say, were greatly influenced by his involvement with Theosophy and neo-Vedantic Hindu views. A later edition of the book includes commentary by the renowned psychoanalyst, Dr. Carl Jung, whose insightful essay illustrates that this Tibetan text goes beyond a study of Tibetan culture and reaches into a psychology that has great relevance to the western world.

source : http://www.summum.us/mummification/tbotd/

here is an extract of the transcript i grossly did, with some of my notes,
from this video :

all the way
i felt great coolness 
the words are very true.
show the importance of recognising our true nature
and the state of the dead person, before, during and after death.

"death is from the collapse of the body physical condition until the separation of the consciousness from the body about 40 days

while the elements of earth (water, earth, fire) together support and condition our consciousness and our perception

death occurs when it is no longer the case."

"so die before you die"
is wiser. 
and is the famous saying of the prophet
of course it means not to commit suicide lol :

is to detach your soul from its identification with the consciousness (be it a beautiful or less beautiful consciouness. the beautiful one is only a respite given at best until next reincarnation; the less beautiful one is your hell).

so dying is to become free from the attachments;  "shackles and fetters" (as said by the prophet zakarya in his sermon to jewish priests (another post may be)
when attempting to explain to them
point is spirituality and not religion.

better do it while alive 
than when you actually taste physical death.
for in the latter case 
is harder.
so this is the meaning of "die before you die".

for our soul is tied down to the consciousness
so that it becomes loaded by its weight and fears
which are "real" in so much that they have been fed by the earth elements
of course they are real. 3D

and are "illusory" in so much that from spirit point of you
you can gain freedom from them, as is a higher dimension no more the 3D one.
and thus not being tied down to their limitation.

"which make us see life through filters and screens of fears and hope
and attachement of daily life.
AT THIS STATE
The Mind can be seen directly.
 
which become our new realm were the soul is lead to after death.

don't cry it confuses the dead. but help its mind beyond trouble and clear.

he turns the dead one it on his right side/channel
as the buddha at his death
to make him more peaceful
i guess he is purifying his left channel 
the channel of the pure desire
for he has his right hand on the right hemisphere of his brain
which is actually the nerve ending of the left channel
ie the one of the desire
so that he may have some respite to hear the prayers being done
for his guidance.

then read it :

do not be afraid 
the 4 great elements of your body are collapsing one after the one,
it feels you are being crushed by wind, tossed by waves

do not resist it and do not be afraid
recognise your true nature.

compassion
mind at peace
vast empty luminosity of Mind itself

earth collapses into water and water into fire  and fire into air  and air dissolve into consciousness

this very description
you will find it in the book of Imam Ali
he described the creation of the universe
in nearly exact same sentence
for the universe creation is also the human being creation
made of those very elements of the earth.

then there is experience of piercing luminosity
pure white light

the clear radiance which arises from the direct experience of one's own basic nature

now there is no darkness, no separation, no direction, no shape only bright light.
this boundless sparkling radiance is mind free from shadows of birth and death
free from boundaries of any kind

listen
now the all pervading of light engulfes you completely
all of space has dissolve into pure light

this radiance of the mind 
of all the buddhas and all the awakened ones
to recognise that is
all that is necessary

and the child ask to the teacher:

what happened to him if he recognsie not his own true nature?

well there were definitely indications that he did not recognised it
so it is as if he has fallen into a dreamless sleep

can he still hear?

no but in 3 days times
his consicousness will hear more clearly than ever before
all his senses and emotions to what he lived are intense
will seem to him he entered into a new reality
is still the reality of his own mind

because as air dissolved into consciousness 
the new one will reincarnate following what dissolved into it
during this life time 
and it is the one 
that the mind will accept
as it will be recognised as his own

and he will reap 
what he sow


and the mind


which is like a circuit 
will re-live the patterns
printed in his subconscious

and that you have accepted as reality

and make it your next life
heaven/hell degrees.

and the elements of our bodies such as 
the fire and earth acts like 
receptacles
such as clay
to receive water of life

and if you recognise not
your true Mind
then your Mind will emerge 
under the form 
(using the stored experiences 
through these elements in your subconscious)

that you can recognise
and these are your earned experiences
in this past life

and you get it back.


because you did not recognise your real nature
you wandred here
and your own mind will now arise before you in unfamiliar ways

now his body and consciousness have seprataed
and now the dead person know not if he is dead or alive
even so he can see his family crying

you are not alone living this world
everyone dies
do not indulge longer in longing and desires with this place
there is no way you can stay here

because unable to recognise the luminosity of mind itself.
his experience takes place out of  random imaginary from his former life

he sees his friend and relatives calling out him

but they can't hear his reply
death cut him off of them
and sorrow on his heart
he can see his bed but is no longer the one lying there
instead is only a lying corpse

listen
soon you will experience
intense presence of your own emotional states
as peaceful and raging life forms

do not be afraid
they cannot hurt you
you are dead
do not cling to the past
go forward

i wonder
are these tibetan optimistic 
can we?
for he who when alive could not detach himself 
when he had power and control
then how easy could be it when dead
and having lost all control?

on the other hand
the weakened and transitory
state
is also the ideal moment
to catch the change to hear 
the clarity of the words 
leading to your liberation


go forward
you are dead
do not cling to the past

though this world seem stable and solid
nothing is permanent
like water, snow and ice
life is always shifting and changing form

Kids asking his teacher,
please tell us more about the bardo

all existence is one kind of bardo or another
it means living in an atmospher of uncertainty
moving without a place to rest

so that means we are in bardo now?

==> very good movie inception illustrates it so well
especially the final cliffhanger on which the movie ends

the bardo is like in the egyptian book of death 
well described in their own symbols
or by the muslims called barzakh - intermediary existence

this is why utmostly important 
to support the dead on his way
and not say hurtful words
for he comes haunting places and houses and lives
of those who did it to him at his death time
lack of manners make it understandable
why the dead seek vengeance in a way / compensation
as it happened in one place i visited a few months ago
of a yogi haunting an ashram
he was very angry at the lack of consideration he received
by one or a few there 
who happened to insult the dead


yes we are now passing through the bardo of existence
here we want to make something lasting and secure
but no one ever accomplished this

our lifes is always in hands of death

kid :
but death is different kind of bardo?

yes when we die
it is completely out of our control
our experience is completely naked

Bratty boy!

lol i have a very very rebellious belly
hehehe
funny thing happened

after my fasting
when i was walking in the street
i felt real very light
like i did not sense the weight of my body
first time i felt so

really is like
i was walking in the air

the funny part is
my stomach
from my dreams
i understood that it was making a fuss
in the dream
i understood that it was revolting
and sending me messages of TOTAL REVOLT
AH THE BRAT!
hahaha
too funny
hey i knew not, to be honest
that the belly could be so fussy !
it has some character the bratty boy!

plus, it was
like saying
"why you punish me?..was doing so great with vibes.."

yea punish,
because i resumed eating...

*sigh*
bratty stomach
in dream it was clearly putting fire all around
ah such bratty one!

hahaha
i can't stop laughing
considering that each thing has its consciousness
and that my stomach is one of its kind!

anyway
to tame it
for i agree with it
i will resume this time fasting on water
but over 3 days this time

i can do it!

for if i can imagine it,
then i can do it!

what is most important
is to eat salt
for the more you drink water
the more it flushes the minerals out of your body
so you need to compensate with salt

and NOT table salt
but sea salt
and you smear it under your tongue
for it is where
are the blood vessels
so it will enters very DIRECTLY
into your blood stream

and drink water on top.

second major point
if no INTENSIVE meditation
is combined with fasting
then is just "fasting of the body"
as it is.

but if you combine it
with intensive meditation
which means per say "intensive"
like going out of your ways
to aim higher
then of course you will see the result

you ever saw no result when you set yourself on a project?

same with meditation
if you are honest with yourself
you know if you are just patching working your way to it
or truly are devoted to a higher vision of life.

kissi:x
ah bratty boy!
can't believe what kind of a stomach i have!
throwing tantrum 'cause unhappy!