Lord Increase me in Knowledge

As i remember
when my quest for Truth started
in a dream
i entered a library
which now i know
represents the akashic records

i took a book
and before opening it
i said the quranic ayah

"Rabbi zidni ilma"

meaning

"O my Lord
increase me in Knowledge"

once i opened the book
i saw in the first page
the word written
"Nafs"

Nafs is the Self

so the answer was
that the Knowledge starts
by knowing your True Self

this article is definitely one of the best
here is another extract of it :

"The first Ascended Mastery initiation is the desire to know one’s self, or find God. You choose to find your way up the mastery path when you do this. Everything soon unfolds as you make that choice. There is a probationary period by soul as you do this. That is designed to see IF you really want to complete the Earth School Experience. To understand that probationary period you must understand the descension process and how we became the individual fragments of consciousness you recognize yourself as being. Ascending is nothing more than a reversal of descending from where we came. I will not get into that subject here as I have previously written about that process."

"The second ascension initiation is passed as the probationary period has been reached and one has maintained his/her desire to ascend. This probationary time in past lives could have been a whole lifetime. Now in the End Times as we are completing this cycle known as the Piscean Age, that probationary period can possibly occur in weeks."


source : http://www.shiftfrequency.com/bill-ballard-mastering-holding-your-light-the-ascension-of-mother-earth-humanity/ 


the second paragraph
illustrates
you can't know
how CLEARLY this happened in my own life
this is why i can't praise enough the writer of this article

all is very precisely stated
and is very true

for i was in this very dilemma
that was by then
the dead end in my spiritual quest
it was like i find something
or i am done

and then it awe strucked me
even if i find nothing
to see  theTruth

at least
i felt it in me
definitely
the desire is there

and that is the first
TIME
in my life
i used the word desire

cause for me the word desire
was about something not pure
something that you are dependent upon
such as a passion that enslaves you

but this time
the first time in my life
i realised how that was in me
the way i was inside feeling wired
to find Truth
was a true longing
that i called "desire"

and indeed
not only for weeks
but nearly for about 2 years
i was literally in hell

as in the extract
the writer called it
"descension"

because i had to face my fears
of not finding Truth
so i was experiencing
all the fearful scenarios
of what my life would be
if i find not the Path

i think feelings, emotions
and that desire
have so many aspects

that they can't be truly treated
in one shot
but once again
that writer wrote it truthfully