As generous as the wind

What i loved during this week end
it is the manners

not mannerism
but manners

manners were not for the sake of keeping up appearances
BUT on the contrary
they were meant to SHARE CONCRETELY the resources at stake

be it your time, your place in the queue to get a plate to get your meal,
everything was being shared
it was a collective work
like for playing volleyball

they served others before self service
they gave plates and filled it with meal
while the other was doing same for them
everyone was taking care of the other
while this very other was taking care of them

this is the beauty to get the surprise of being served by
new eyes and hands
different than yours
while you are serving the other
as if you are serving yourself
by giving the choicest dishes to the other
love the other as you love yourself
do good to the other as you do good to yourself
so that the other becomes yourself
for if you are used to take the best piece of meat
you will exactly pick up the same but this time to feed someone else!
and this creates BEAUTIFUL patterns to be experienced by others
otherwise the others would have remained STUCK with the same old patterns of theirs
and would not have experienced another way of tasting a dish (different in quantities and association)
hence the "utility" of serving
for you could say "hey why serving someone, when they ALSO have hands to serve themselves!"

and the other becomes treated like you treat yourself usually
and so in a way you extend your feeling of self and make it wide and spread it as far as you can
by reaching as many as you can

besides, it is also for the other the occasion to witness your inner beauty...
and the other needs not to get envious or jealous of it,
for he/she is GETTING it,
by being the OBJECT of attention and all manners...

yes in Asia, usually, people DO serve others
but either it is mannerism like anywhere else
once you enter into routine
you take it for granted and then no more feeling, nor heart accompagning the service
and thus it becomes a custom/tradition, a RULE
while it was initially meant as a service...

this is how heavy customs and traditions were born
esp. still are in use in Asia, for instance.

origin is ALWAYS service
for the AIM of sharing
and THIS is being done because of the SENSE OF COLLECTIVITY
which itself comes from the TRUE KNOWLEDGE of ONENESS
we are ONE in spirit
you are me and i am you
we are just "separated" as individual to witness differences in the process of experimentation
but it makes not one more superior to another
except through the development of the refined state of Oneness

this is what "piety" is about
lol
i feel odd using "religious" terms now
for it is like i have to wash them from religious imitation of models
while they were meant to be used to just give an idea(l)
but ended up being a RULE and a constraint, a jail and eventually a judgement
leading from self punishment to world wars
so cruel one can be to oneself
when acting in plain ignorance of (we are all One)

so seeing westerners adopting Asian manners in terms of service
is really beautiful
for they are doing it CONSCIOUSLY
and therein lies the devotion
when you give of yourself (under the use/form of your OWN consciousness) to do this
and hence the meaning of this ayah from quran "and we have created you in tribes, so that you know one another"

where it has become a custom/tradition and burden (ex : women all day in kitchen and at men's service)
somewhere else, like in France, it has becomein the hands of such people embodying it, a SERVICE
a SHARING and an enjoyable experience

and finally,
when someone buys you some fruits
and tell you, hey look at those beautiful fruits

it is AN OPEN invitation to you
to catch the BALL
catch it and make it flow

if you just eat the fruit
hmm, it is ok
but if you partake in their cost
it is fabulous
for you are reaching out for someone
lessening his financial burden
for things done in collectivity are always more with added values
than when done separately
for it gives joy to the other to have been magically  "rescued" and paid back a part of his cost
while he ASKED NOT
and put him into action to GO ON doing such small favors and surprises
he feels free and happy to do it
you have thus REMOVED burden from his path (ihsan = doing good)
to thrive into making small healthy purchases for others.

and you what have you gained?
one could say,
yeah but on the spot it hurts to take money out
while you had not budgeted it
this is true as far as logic is concerned
but you aim IS to empty yourself for your cup to be filled anew, remember?
in that case, the other is doing you a favor by accepting your money too...seen like this
it makes sense

zakah
is when you give a part of your wealth to "poors"
and PLEASE poors means not the one in street
it is the one BELOW you ON THE SPOT when your heart tells you to share your own resources
i know people caricature SO MUCH that they see it not, for they live in the improbable future of meeting some beggar, while it is about the PRESENT

yet, the word itself means "purification"
yes... purification
it is when you do not let things accumulate till they create a blocage in you
so you have to let them go
till they flow


similar is the example of a river which flows vs stagnant waters which become muddy
due to lack of movements.

seen like this still acceptable
but ALL is in the MOMENT

are we able to DO it and with HAPPY excitation expecting GOOD on the moment?

this can only be done so, when one truly starts experiencing the joy of it
of all of this
then, can one be even more eager to repeat such behavior of "as generous as the winds".

:)

Collectivity : meditation and sports

Have started the morning meditation at 4am;
great when we get up in group
but doing it alone,
hm, issue,
for none of my alarm clock is obedient enough to get me up.

it just hit me
actually we ARE CREATED to live as a COLLECTIVE
on our own, we are not functioning so smoothly
for the inner Being is telling us through this pain
that we are MEANT to live otherwise
and the flow i felt today
was only when i was in group.

indeed,
will refer to it later,
first, let's close the initial 4am meditation topic
I noticed, each time i meditated at this time
the times flow so quick,
it is so light
one cannot even feel one hour is gone

second, when we ALL go to sleep
we ALL do sweet dreams
mine was
first i saw the graveyard of the prophet muhammad (saw)
it was covered with a green carpet with broidery
and right after i saw
a sun, should i say a shining sun lol
of course a sun shines! : ))
and it was resting on a Throne

so lovely,
but it was a vision
not a dream
right before i got asleep.

yeah, the collective
that is the way.

today we played volleyball
yes, and the sensations when i was sitting in the train back home
was : blankness
i realised i had "forgotten" the feeling of "i-ness"
it is like when one is merging as a drop in an ocean
then, one does not realise that one is a drop
it is just appreciating the flowing of "itself" or just the sensation of surfing
in the activity

yes and when i opened after a whole day my mobile
and saw some messages
i could see the person's fears! into the written messages
or even the person's manipulation!
while the person itself is not very much conscious of it
(and thanks to this experience, i tell you i know NOW how i could look like silly with my fears : ))
for it is like seeing oneself being stuck into a drama, and the silliness comes from the fact
we have FORGOTTEN it is NOT real, it is a drama, that WE HAVE CHOSEN to be in, in the first place! this is WHY it is so silly...! it is because we have FORGOTTEN that we can go OUT of it, while we take it for real, true and thus being us!)

and i felt like tenderness for the person,
for it was like witnessing someone turning in circle
because this person is on his/her own
and this is when i felt the wideness of not being an individual but a part of a whole/or a whole
and i felt smiling all the way
for i saw how one can get narrow-minded by remaining on our own
one cannot polish this
it is not feasible
the only way is to jump into the ocean
not put a mask to make-believe that we are perfect
we are only perfect when we are being constantly shaped by Hand of Divine
which is flowing through all of us and is IN us

after having played volleyball
a wise girl concluded :
we learn in collective game
TO RECEIVE and GIVE...

and it HIT me
so true
in life we do not even know how to receive
when you learn to receive the ball
those who improve into the reception
is when they learn about their own body
and THEN go with the flow
movements of hands in receptions are from down to up, and knees have to accompany hands movements
you cannot just come and throw balls on the other side/ give it to someone else
you have first to learn to RECEIVE it
as BEST as you can
then, only then, you learn to direct it

someone told me
when you direct it
put your attention on the person or place you want it to go
lol , said like this so simple and common sense
but on the spot
i was just in stress while receiving the ball
and wondering : am i going to receive it well

receive it or not , is not my issue
for, of course i will go towards it and receive it
but then next is to put attention on where you want it to go
and one HERE realises how one is not flowing
for one is stuck into just some single thought/or fear

this is SAME with Life
learn to receive, and then learn to give
let life be a constant give and take
so that if you let it flow,
then you have nothing to feel hurt about
as you are nothing (fix)
but constantly changing

and the more you can let go
the more you can receive to experience again something new
if a cup remains full, you cannot fill it
the longer you take to let it go, the longer it takes to be filled anew

and finally,
at the beginning, i just noticed i was just standing fix on my spot (just loving a bit but nothing much)
then, little by little, sense of stretching myself came,
ok i can run here and there
one has to learn not to take your team mates' place of "responsibility" in the game
and at the same time be receptive enough to be ready to help/move if need be
for aim is to get the joy of beating the other party up too! lol
as if one wishes to lose, no way! :))

yet, i am FOR individual sports TOO
for one learns auto-discipline in them
and this i am the first to say it,
for i LOVE fencing.

ok, waiting soon for Archery next time,
i think right time is coming soon for it.

Song : Feels like heaven by Dave James, Keith Beauvais, Sulene Fleming

Lyrics
Never could imagine, I'd feel this way
Always something better, to leave me a strength
But times they are changing
When I hear you callin' my name

And it feels like heaven to me
When you smile my heart gets to be then
I always wanna be there for you
You're my words on my dream
Feels like heaven to me

Likely beside you, you're my ankle, my place
And every time I hold you, no one touches the same
We no share this feeling No one could take your place

And it feels like heaven to me
When you smile my heart gets to be then
Then I always wanna Be there for you
You're my words on my dream
Feels like heaven

You're the air that I breath in
You're my angel when I sleep
You're the sun on my crises
And I'm so proud that I can be free
OOOOOh

ps : about the collectivity vs the individual life and messages on phone,
it occured to me
in my daily routine, i would have never taken distance from the "negative" message, on the spot
i would have innerly, FOR SURE, reacted,
as an automatism,
the meaning of this word is that i would have ONLY known ONE way to RECEIVE
the message
and would have NOT known HOW to experience it otherwise
for one can do only what one knows

but being in a collective and giving and taking continuously
makes you SET into a FLOW
EVEN if it BE in a GAME , a sport!
it carves your inside and LEADS you to KEEP acting EVEN AFTER
in a GIVE and TAKE-way

therefore, this is HOW
i feel i could read the message and still laugh about it
not laughing at it, in a mean way,
but laughing at it as in a volley ball game :
i caught the ball, so much the better! (all fun)
i did not, it is ok, next ball is coming, get ready.
so one has NO TIME to get stuck on a self drama
lol imagine you keep beating yourself up for a ball you missed
i bet your team mates will say "hey, you ! go back to your sanity, IT IS OK,
get rather ready for the NEXT one, which is coming .... on your face!"

Butterflies

Today, we went to the park,
and we all just slept on the grass and did some of sunbathing lol.

may be had i meditated before,
i no longer remember,

but suddenly when i watched the sky
it was all purple and green like butterflies flying
like being aspired upwards
billions of it
everywhere

then, later i watched the grass
and it was same kind of vibrations or pulses
this time it was like a white mist of it

like a whole sky vibrating
and the whole earth vibrating

this is how i realised they are alive
and always changing / moving upwards.

i tried to look at human being
but i just saw solid forms
so, i realised may be it is either they are lacking vibrations
or because i cannot see multicolored vibrations.

Love is always there

i did not know what love was
i felt always insecure
for i knew not how to integrate all that i met into oneness

so i imagined
that love
is the capacity to always be there
despite all of my excess
it HAS to stick there
otherwise how i could feel protected and reassured?

feeling of insecurity
could have been laughed at
for very strange reasons

may be the reasons
were just laughing at me
for not seeing that I AM that Truth inside

but on the spot
it was of no help to my ignorance
actually it was felt as being cruel

therefore,
i imagined love
love to be fully integrating all that was evil in me
always patient and forgiving and especially, still after all my blunders,
be loving

so that shamelessly
i feel confident enough
to keep improving

why should one cover one's defects
when one is meant to be transformed into something more beautiful?

so first one should face our own defect
see what could be laughable
and accept that
and never think that it made love to forsake you
just this thing is sufficient
to know that love forsakes not

so that at some point
you have by this choice
made and accumulated enough space
for transformation to happen

love is always there
but you just need
to be lenient with yourself
to give the required space
for the alchemy to take place.

To be colored in the color of God

Collective meditation is the intensive way to get speed up the process of purification/vibrations
later, the individual one only need to feel its own call/passion within and respond to it

so once the ablution is done,
offering still remained to be done
and it is up to each one of us, up to each individual to do it

i love his eyes in the beginning of the video
once his inside has literally been beaten up (as you will see it throughout the video)
it is like this was necessary for him to go through all of this
for his eyes to find the softness and innocence of a fragile new born one
and only lovable one is , in truth

so is the power of divine love
which is compared to the Mercy of a Mother
cannot bear to see his children
go through the rough path
while they could go through the easy one

sometimes
human nature is so
that they cannot learn the easy way
they want to try the stick before
on individual level it is called tragedy
on the mass scale world wars

yet, humanity needs not to suffer
nor to reach the pitless bottom to learn to love
or find back the never lost innocence
it just requires humbleness to make space for it

and for once, listen to it
for it has been always there.

and it just wait for us
in silence
to receive it
to welcome it
for it will never force itself upon you
so good mannered it is

thus yesterday night,
i suddenly felt a sort of rush of wind
on the sole of my feet
i realised that it was intelligent for it was trying to move up inside

this woke me up,
for i did not realise what was happening
and then, suddenly the room went dark
this is when i realised that it was a cloud of light

and it never forces itself on you
yet you have to attune yourself with it.

Few months ago, i was afraid
and just rejected it.
This time, i was still afraid, for i was not expecting it
but did not rejected it, i kept observing

Lol,
if we go to sleep expecting nothing
then for sure if something good happen
we are scared
for we are unprepared

but if we go to sleep
expecting Grace
if something good happen
we can attune to it

so this is the state into which i will sleep next time
expecting good
and observing the sensations or watching what i see.

it is all about choice
and we are to choose
and then, let it happen.

somehow,
these past few days were very blessed with these continuous meditation spots
day after day
and it ended up the whole "trip"
with a, what i call, "angel in disguise",
at least it is the impression that this "beggar" gave me

in the metro,
he was playing his small piece of music
and as over the past few days,
all i see and feel repulsion for
i pinpoint the feeling inside of me
so that on the spot i envelop it with love

so when the beggar was playing of his instrument
and i felt a bit of irritated because it was not really a beautiful music sound
and it was so much noisy with the metro
i used "i love you" mantra inside of me upon the disagreeable sensation i was feeling inside

at the end,
the beggar who was near me
said Hallelujah
Lol which wake me up
whenever i see people interested with some religious behavior
i am curious as to their way of seeing life
for i was expecting some misery coming from him at the end of the song
like the previous beggar i heard
but he was praising God
which really attracted my curiosity

and then, he turned towards me
and gave me his hand
so that i shake it
lol : )

and as if i was in dream,
well, who knows, i am in dream,
i was shaking his hand
LOL
then, he pointed his finger to the sky
and said, are you christian?
to which i said yes
then, he said,
then, you are ok

then, he left and resumed his work
of asking people the money for his music
while i was expecting him to do same with them.

so this made me think,
this is a very exciting meeting
when we meet each other
and speak to each other on unsaid words
and then, wear again our mantle of daily chores
as if nothing happened.

it is like our light
shines for a second
before we go back consciously or unconsciously to amnesy.

for him, i wonder, which one was it,
the conscious or unconsious one?

we are all like that,
it is just that we are deeeeeeeeep asleep.

Discernment and Judgement

When one has found the standard of Truth
or saw what it was like to have a sneak peek into Truth
into its atmosphere
when you breathe it
or see it and feel it

it suffices you come back to your former level
and you see all of it with new eyes
and you can tell
no that is fake, that is fake and that too.

the power of discernment is there
for you need night to know what day (light) is
and vice versa
so dualities are aimed at increasing your discerning power
but never to judge
dualities are there as help for you to get sharper
and what you DO after with it
is YOUR CHOICE

but most of time people get carried away
and don't know that they have choice
seeing duality
or seeing darkness after the light
they think it is their life role and mission
to criticise, judge
either for the sake of it
for lower reasons of being always right
or even for noble reasons of making the world a better place

but all of these reasons are FALSE
for judging IS judging

judging is to try to bend the spoon from the outside
it is to mix up The Source with the manifestation
it is to go into the corruption of Attention and give unto it
it is to react to the falsehood with our emotions
call it as you wish
but these are the processes which are taking place
we are judging.

but we HAVE CHOICE
discernment is one thing, judging is ONE choice
and Loving is ANOTHER.

let us dwell into the Loving choice following the discernment period
this one we hardly imagine it to be a choice
for let us be honest

i never understood how i could LOVE
and even unconditionally
if i see a really irritating situation, circumstance or person
i am sorry, but in NO WAY i will say i love it.
for i KNOW that i am feeling irritated, angry or even NOT OK with it.

yet jesus peace be upon him said,

We see the straw in the eyes of others and we do not see the beam in ours

 meaning,

"to not cast judgement on others so easily and yet overlook our own faults."

Yet, ON THE SPOT,  i always see the BEAM in the other, and not the straw and i saw it into them and NOT in me (always on the spot) ...
so how come?
yet, the idiom HAS TO BE TRUE.

so how come?
it is because i chose judgement after discernment
and not love
and also because i forgot that everything is pure spirit, me and the other
so the other is always meant as a MIRROR INTO ME
and the mirror role is NOT to burden me... for it is a world of transformation and change
it is meant for me to see the VERY fault i see in the other into me
not that i should find it into me
for on the spot i SEE it (so it is already found)
but the exterior is giving witness as a mirror does to my interior
and without asking myself further question (and even less wasting time to judge)
i should do my share, and use my power to purify myself of it

so when seeing what irritate me in the other
i should close eyes (if need be) and turn inside and see
where i feel the pain/irritation in the body
very often we are able to pinpoint it
and once done, this is the proof that you have located the place to be purified inside of you!

half way
you are half way
if you came so far, it means you did NOT CHOOSE judgement (which is to throw your attention outside and let it glued with the falling and destruction of the world which is bound to perish, so you saved yourself once your turned your attention inside)

once your attention is turned inside,
you have located your pain
and this is basically painful because the energy is stuck
like a knot is made
knot upon knot
how could you undo it?
you never managed so far with your own hands or mental tricks
like for a flower
you can never open its petals with your own hands
your will crush them and the bud will be all bruised and no petals would be freshly opened in their fresh morning beauty

so what you have to do is
just to put your attention on the knot (of pain)
and where you direct your attention,
is where the vibrations/the pure power of divine Love
will flow
and this SAME power which opens flowers' petals
will open the knot of your heart (if the pain is located there for instance)
and it will undo the impossible knot, for it can locate the thread and loosen it

and then, your energy will FLOW

and lake becomes clear
Cristal clear
and when energy flow
there is no more blocage inside
thus no more irritation outside

thus you have purified the "other" in yourself
and you have purified yourself from this trapped pain
you saved yourself
and you learned to love by choosing to love and not judge

this is why it is said
"Allah we ask your mercy and not your judgement"

for the Mercy/Grace is so much more vast
while judgement is so tightening

this is to choose to do ourselves good
and do good thereby to others too.

and this is how we love for the other
what we love for ourselves.

Vantage point and witnessing consciousnesses

It is marvelous,

look, in school, the first time i learned that every 21 days women period would restart again,
this was a stunning discovery for me,
for i learned that the body was under a very specific and precise law
sure, a woman can forget about it, but the "clock" of the body will still do its work
so it IS INDEPENDENT and based surely upon a power that is TRUSTWORTHY, due to its precision in completing its work.

then, today it occurred to me,
as we are all (table, animals and human beings) made of the same energy,
we are all consciousnesses, yet with different level of development,
then, seeing the order or chaos is just a matter of perspective
and perspective/viewpoint is also in itself a consciousness which is living and materialising a landscape/ a reality.

so a human being having a higher consciousness than (the one stuck into) its body
can WITNESS the body consciousness in action
can witness its order in action

and soo, unless and until
one raises ABOVE our current state of more or less blind consciousness
we canNOT witness the order and precision that we are into our daily life too!
we are also certainly living a controlled, precise and perfect life at all time
but we do not know it
for we cannot witness our own current consciousness in a way
so our witnessing power is lost or covered
and we are lost with it
and believe that we are not under this same law of precision and harmony than our body internal clock is submitted to..

so, only a RISE in perspective
a rise in witnessing
can allow us to see our major and precise and individual role
into the great functioning of the universe
on the macrocosm level

as we could witness it
in our body on the microcosm level

so only raising of vibrations to witness consciousnesses
i.e. raising of vantage point
will bring the correct witnessing
of what already is.

Truth once and for all

I am inspired

I want to establish myself FIRST in that meditation
so that it be felt as a permanent vibrations at ALL times

second, i want them to be strong

third, i wish to shift from my current mental evolution
and see everyday a new me and witness a new me
not only in skills but also a shift in worlds
and see myself ascending

i wish to know all the hidden truths
all the secrets of the universe
which I KNOW are no secrets when eyes finally open
they are secrets till i decide not to turn inside
so i know ALL is there

also, i wish to GET certainty in witnessing what happened from A to Z
to the True message of islam
from A to Z
i wish to witness it with my own eyes
no small stories, no reported ones, nor any doubts
the PURE NAKED TRUTH
and smash falsehood down to where it belongs and should remain forever.

from THAT place of TRUTH,

above all,
i wish to break all limits and barriers that ever a mental state has created and will create
for barriers have been created to be broken
so that one flies

and i wish to get to the crux of the matter regarding the corruption which crept into the current islam
which has i KNOW NOW nothing to do with the true message of the prophet.

finally, i wish the inner self assurance that i am on the right path
for i do NOT wish any deviation from it
esp. not to lose right track while believing i am doing good

there is a very keen sense of love
and an even more obvious aspect of Grace that i have not yet experienced
and definitely it is also part of my goal.

Finally, I rebel against those who do not know their own pure desire within
for i feel if they knew it they would never ever be miserable.

it is just that we are afraid to shine
for it is so easy to remain an anonymous personality
and yet so terrific to break all the shackles
it is terrific when you know you have the power to change everything
and turn the world upside down
for normally, like every average person, you accept the consensus to not go out of your fake world
for you prefer a factice comfort zone, a well know path, however torturing and miserable it be
to letting the Truth within you bursting out.

you keep containing it and choking it
but either you LET IT OUT
or it will certainly consume you.

for Truth is here to shine out
and make the rest of creation shine out
if you stand in its way
then you will be like an ant which will be crushed by the foot of angels soldiers coming their way.

like in the story of sulaiman alaihi salam.

as usual, great stories remains misunderstood
while urgency is beating at your door everyday
but you cannot manage to hear it
for you keep dozing off.