It is Me, It is not me... - part 1

well it has been 3 times
this week

that i noticed
that i don't recognise
myself
when i speak

is W.E.I.R.D.

concretely,
i found myself 3 times
in a trap like situation
while i knew even not
that it is an unfavorable one

but each time
thank God,
i saved myself from long term headaches
without knowing
what i was saying on the spot
HAD some meaning

is too weird
even writing it
sounds weird

for instance
i met a service provider
who had to give me the right pass
and when i looked dubitative
just because i felt innerly a trouble
i just said
"i would prefer the former option
we discussed"
and to my amazement
he ended up
giving me BOTH passes
and asked me to choose
the one fit me most

incredible
is his job
and he ended up
saying to me
choose yourself what suits you best
never ever ever a company does that
impossible

business rule is
to just sell what your ass wants
and the way you want
and never downgrading yourself

and here
he just asked me
to go and check both options
and take the best one

anyway
i just let it go
cause i thought
though to my advantage
may be he is nuts

again
there was no more seat available
for my trip
i was asked just to wait for the boss
and he came and out of thin air
gave me one

and lol
honestly
my heart said no
i liked it NOT
so hehehe
this time i am the nut one

he is providing me
"graciously" a seat
when everything is booked
and i said no lol

so i asked him
if i could still get the seat
i had initially booked

you know
i asked that just because
i really felt not good
for the one he was giving me

and guess what
he did i don't know what
and i ended up with the seat i wanted

it was so fast
that myself i was standing there
wondering
"seriously?!"

anyway
this time i said to myself
you are the nuts one
move on now

and now
just today
what happened?!

i was dealing with another
service provider
and as is a new one
i ASSUMED all background check were ok

i assumed
cause i could not imagine
such fraud existing

anyway
i was about to pay
when again
i said
"please give me first the contract"

everything was about the right timing
otherwise i was in trouble

but this i knew not
again
how could i have guess
background check was not cleared?

plus when the guy has credibility
you don't question it
you just go with the flow
everyone is ok
so i am ok too
as simple as that

and when i said that
he just lost his face
became bitter
and i understood
is not business like manners
and he is a fraud

now
here is the interesting stuff
that prompted me to write this blog
is my very feeling
at what was happening

is like i could clearly see my thoughts
and i was ALL FOR IT
i had totally bought the project
all ok!
very enthusiastic and believing

so i could DURING
the negociation see myself
i mean see my very thought of
"all approved, now go for it!"

YET
out of nowhere
i blurtted out this line
"please let me see the contract first"

and now
i tell you the feeling of it
when i said it

it was like
it was not me speaking
when i say me
is the thought "go for it!"i was SO identified with that very thought
that it was me

but when i said
"give me contract first" line
my "go for it" thought disappeared
i could see it nowhere

there was no doubt
that was a full of knowledge Me
asking the very thing that was going to be a future bone of contention

and nowhere during this time
i went through the confusion
"i go for it or i go not"

so i understand
that no doubt state means
having no clash between your mind
and your Real Mind.
the latter overriding the limited knowledge
of the former
and being so VAST
that there is no contention

contention is when your mind
gets into conflict with an inner intuition
then comes doubt
or when two thougths hit each other
then comes doubt

but the state of no doubt
is when the Mind which is Sea
absorb your mind
which is a tiny river
so no more doubt...

first time EVER i GOT IT!


so,  in my situation
i had taken my decision
i was all for it!
this is the stupefying stuff

and YET
my tongue blurted out
the opposite

it felt like
the thought which was erroneous
was not at all controlling my tongue
and that my tongue was independant
and asking on its own the truthful stuff

again
written like that
it may sound weird
but is all new to me too


it was shockingly clear
i did not recognsise "myself"
i.e. i did not recognise my thought i stood for
i could NOT enact that thought

my own tongue
was protecting me from my erroneous decision
and by then the I that was being acted upon
was NOT the "i" of the thought

this is very new to me
also the second very impactful feeling
i have when i thought again about this

is like a powerful
somehow all-knowing
independent speach
which POP UP
on its OWN

and the image/vision i got
when i went over it
was that of a strong current
that pop up like a geyser

and pushes up
upwards enough
so that i gained the whole picture
and uses my tongue correctly
to ask stuff which are not those i had thought of...

is truly the vision i got
and is very NOT me
lol
is funny
i ended up thinking
would be embarassing
if one day i happen to blurt out
something which should remain hidden
hahahaha
just because the geyser decided to pop up
at that time
:)))

Heavenly Music

let's listen to that Master Piece
isn't it Heavenly?

Ennio Morricone - The Mission Main Theme (Morricone Conducts Morricone)

yesterday night
as i was going to sleep
i saw a very fine vision

one note to myself
actually visions
are a bit like unexpected
good trips

is like you know not
when you got one
and when you are -in- it

actually you know not
is only once is over
that you realise
hey was real

because during your vision
i feel
one part of the mind is off
so it cannot disturb the vision
by butting in
and asking but why this
and why that
lol

is like the mind
is shut down
so that the vision
may flow

this is why
on the spot
there is no self conscious
questioning
of what i am doing there

now the vision itself
was very elegant

so as i was going to sleep
i saw a conductor
with his baton

and i saw how
he was hearing music
from higher realm

actually i could
hear a very beautiful music
which was very quick
and clearly the notes
were coming or played
in higher realms

then i saw piano keys
being stroke
so i saw them one by one

actually
i wanted to write them down
because the melody was very exquisite
and the rythm was quite fast

is when it hit me
i could not play piano
so why writting them down

then i saw a zooming out
such a great zoom out
that i saw the earth
and the black space all around

now that i write it
i feel was very beautiful vision
hearing the unheard beautiful notes
and contemplating earth from the universe

then at this point
the spirit told me
speaking of Itself
"[the Spirit =]I was the conductor"
"the piano keys you could see was your Witness state"
"and the piano keys being played fast symbolise your petals which are opening faster"
ah yes
and i asked what that zooming out was about
cause i ended up out of earth
seeing it from outer space
finally!
i got it!
It said
"it symbolises liberation"
isn't it the MOST beautiful good news?!

you bet
i am even more enthusiastic
to meditate lol

**sigh**
i feel comfy now
plus even writting this
there is such a nice scent on my tongue ...

that's real sweetness.
this is why i wear no perfume
cause i want the real one!

if i wear perfume
i always wonder
where the smell is coming from
from the one i am wearing or from the real one...

as i am hearing, seeing piano everywhere
even in my train station...
i guess i will gladly surrender
and start piano lessons :)))

Un-gratefulness

i discovered a very interesting stuff
about ungratefulness

people are ungrateful
not because they see not the favor
they receive

but receive the favor
but want the favor
to happen
according to their rules
traditions and their own
cultural, or sectarian mind

cause if it does not
they shove the favor
into some forsaken forgotten
part of their mind
literally sweeping it under the carpet
once they have enjoyed it.

why?
cause they can't BEAR
to see they could get some favor
by another means
that WORKS
other than their OWN

and so they HAVE
to ensure themselves
that they are empowered
by the Standard of God
to customise you to their image

just to be able to say
"yes yes our way is the best
it works
see ?  this is why [retrospectively]
we can show the favor to the world
and say is branded "our sect/religion..." "

BUT if the favor is not
according to their group standard
then,
it can't be remembered
by all means it should be forgotten
cause it would be a shame
that something works
when "we" are not the maker of it!

there is a saying in quran
that says
about God
He is the best Creator of creators

is a very lovely sentence
people refuse creative power
to others
they have to concentrate all the power
as if they were the One and Only God
and others were below

just in case
they forget
there is NO such exclusivity

normally
you should be able to enJOY
what other's qualities and favors are
without trying to customise it to your taste


for such people
i take a very great pleasure
to show them
that they are plainly and simply
UNGRATEFUL to God's favors

as my uncle used to say
wherever comes God Mercy take it
question not its origin

i love that
cause when you don't do so
you are sure you are destroying
your God given Heaven/Garden

cause you start getting at war
with God means of Mercy

whatever good and mercy
comes to your way
take it!
For God sake
just take it

and be grateful
and if possible
thank the person
who is the means of mercy
to you and to your kin

not that it pays the person
but it gives joy
to be seen

and if you are grateful
you increase your own "luck" too
and you see your own life
as being blessed

instead of ending up
in some inner lamentation
of why am i so unlucky etc

there is no unluck in that very case
you just need to be grateful
when you are given some favors
just to allow the flow
to keep coming your way

if you try to force
the other into your own image
unless this person has no backbone
and no personality

do you think
it would be happy?
once joy of the play
and its lighteness along with it dies
the flow of favors coming to you
from that person dies too

is not calculated
Grace is NOT calculated
it just feeds itself from the joy around

New video I made "If you were a melody...then i would always love you"

oki :)
i happened to watch the movie The Holiday
starring kate winslet

the part that hit me
was that the trailer maker
was making melodies
to suit character of a neighbor (Arthur)
and speaking of Kate (Iris)
he said

which now become for me
a great memorable quote from
the Holiday...

"Iris, if you were a melody...

... this is what you would sound like" :

and he put that melody on for her

and said
"i only used good notes" :))

it just hit me.
indeed,
what if you were a melody?
what would you be?

indeed the melody
was suiting her character
her benevolent role in the movie
it was shining and speaking for her

no words
but a melody

and a melody
flows so well

i could see myself flowing
on the scores of the melody
of that movie

and feeling
the wind blowing  in the movie
to anounce christmas in Los Angeles:

"The wind...
it's what makes it so warm this time of year.
Legend has it, when the Santa Anas blow,
anything can happen."

lol
only once you get started
hehehe she went back to bed
too funny
-temporarily-
depressive habits
hard to change lol

the cool breeze there
that was the bearer of good news

as it appeared
twice
with the two men
who were going to
change her life
and empower her
with her dream of love


as said in it:
'anything can happen' :
  
and i saw myself
feeling the cool breeze
under the
Maestro soundtrack
from this movie
so good it is

so seeing
myself as a melody
on that score

and feeling
the cool breeze
blowing like a strong
inner wind
announcing the great change

empowering kate winslet
and finally
making her
realise her lead role
of 'a powerhouse'
as a woman

that inspired me
those dandelions
flying
and swirling
upwards
marking the end of summer 

and i got inspired
for making up my own movie :x


So,
here you go
Movie : If you were a melody...
... then i would always love you.
-by petals1000uk

for so much i value genuine character
when you sing your own song :x

ps :

in praise of the Original Movie - The Holiday
i am quoting an extract from Youtube :

Alix Spencer 5 months ago

[...]"iris, if you were a melody, this is what you would sound like"...i almost feel like every cord struck, hit a note in my soul, like this scene may have been 10% script,90% improvised, its just way too deep to have been part of the original script. Love it.

Turning metal into Gold...

The book that most interested the boy 
told the stories of the famous alchemists. 

They were men who had dedicated their entire lives 
to the purification of metals in their laboratories; 
they believed that, if a metal were heated for many years,

it would free itself of all its individual properties, and

what was left would be the Soul of the World.

This Soul of the World allowed them to understand anything on the face of the earth, because it was the language with which all things communicated.

They called that discovery the Master Work—

it was part liquid and part solid.

 - The Alchemist
by Paulo Coelho

see?
if likewise
you purify yourself
at the end
you will remain
with your own Pure Essence

liberated
like the metal
of its individual properties

because
the soul
is from the spirit

but is the manifestation
of the Spirit/Source
on an individual level

once you
purify soul
it will shed off
its "attachement"
its limited definition
of its nature
its actual identity likened
to its own properties

and once shed off

its real true nature
the spirit
will shine
and that is the
Light of the Spirit
Soul of the World
 
and best and
accelerated way
is meditation
in the midst of huge pain
for it makes your properties
attachement to them
melt quicker

than in your
happy every day life
when the heat of the cooking
is slower

so
even though
you consider our body
is the like the earth
it contains minerals
iron and other metals


the real purification
is the one  of the human being
the real transformation
is the one of the human being
the real turning metal into Gold
is the one of the human being

is NOT
about getting rich
is NOT
about transforming metal into Gold
THOUGH it EXISTS

but is about
transforming your dreams into reality
and your soul returning back to the Spirit

writing this
lol
i feel like strangling
a certain guy i love
for he put me much
through the cooking heat
nowadays

:))))

the day
i will get
the consistent
reflex to meditate
right on the spot
when that exceptional
cooking happen

i will update you

but for now
i am doing pretty well

he just makes me lose
my hair too much

guys are born
stressful
but i read somewhere
after marriage
the women make them lose their hair....

;)
:))))

ps : if they still have them..