my Bowl broke down! lol

today earlier during the day
i happened to see my bowl in the sink
and said to myself
it is not pretty neither easy to grab
but strong though

later today, it fell and all broken!
while i had it from a few years already!
sort of unbreakable one in my head.

so today
i indeed got confirmation
that WHAT happens outside of me
is what i had thought of
and the universe granted me

and it happened
that while i was picking up its pieces
i remembered my last lesson
about accepting one's responsibility
lol nothing heavy
but this :

i.e. when you ask something
and the universe gives it to you
just say "thank you"
and do NOT judge

otherwise the magic just stop
because when i judge the universe
then it stops

so i naturally
this time no forcing
happy that it was natural

this time
when i picked up the pieces
i checked inside
out of curiosity
any thought related to this bowl
and remembered my thought of this morning :

i was dissatisfied of seeing it
though not believing it would break as it is strong!

and it happened!

so,
sum up :

once we are realised

1- be careful of your thoughts
for your thoughts are powerful
and what you think
you get it, if you universe allows

in THIS way you are to be responsible
meaning, you need to keep sound thoughts
and not delves into worries

2-if you wish for something
THEN wish it ONLY
if you are READY to get it

lol
not asking
getting it
and then blaming or judging universe

3- what is judging universe

it is to be a cry baby
to get something
and instead of thanking It
you ask for MORE security and guarantees!

like you get a gift
and suddenly an idea or worry comes up
emerges into your mind
and while thanking universe you add a condition
such as "thank you but can you make it ok so that i have no trouble with this gift"

this is NOT a thank you
this is a JUDGEMENT

and from what i learned
you are NOT smarter than the universe

this leads me to

4- Thank you
say thanks to the universe
and be happy (this is the the let go part- you just enjoy the gift)

5-keep asking :)

and you will see
as i learned it
that like this you will cross the limits
of what are called good and bad

not because you are bad lol
but because you are just learning to INTEGRATE
everything that comes up your way

though by time
people may start judging you
for they progress not

you know
as a matter of fact
as you are experiencing this power of the Universe

that nothing is bad
except what we make it so

of course it is easier said
than done

but till we have this awareness
we can try and do the best we can each time
and keep on progressing
into integrating more experiences

and as you saw
only accepting the universe results
is the way of not judging

but again
don't take me wrong

FIRST you have to WISH FOR
and THEN let the POWER enters into action

NEVER the POWER will use intent
hello?!
the power is ONLY there to give your SUPPORT
but you HAVE TO DO YOUR JOB : intent, wish, desire

and then
God says
Be and it is ;)

kiss:x

vision of the One (scene) integrated

As i was coming back home
from my week end,
when i had a discussion about how
everything is getting robotised
and that already cybermen exist
just not so spread in public knowledge

and how even the fact
that now connected watch exist
we arrived at a peak of technology
and we think as a civilisation
as the best of all civilisation ever

leaving as such  the respect
for the presence of humanity

it is very true
you can use technology
to serve

but when you are becoming a sheep
due to it
is something else

because in the latter case
you are just as you are
because you have removed
and obliterated in your relationship
what most important and sacred is
the touch feeling

the one of a human presence

have you not noticed
that if you are in a dire situation
like there is a robber and no one else around
to give you this feeling of security

or let s say if you were on a desert island for years
with no human contact
how suddenly
the sight of a human being
even someone you would call an enemy
would become suddenly pleasing to you
and so comfy?
with a warm feeling rekindled in your belly?
just at the sight of seeing it?

it is because the human being has something sacred in him
it is this warm light
that is lit

and even though your naked eyes cannot see it
you can feel it
and this human presence
gives you this warmth

but in our daily life
we have learned to separate
in order to be able to remove from our sight
that which is bothering is
and removing us
as we believe this feeling of all is smooth and under control

some people
who only wait this opportunity
will breed separation even more
by dramatising it
by entering in your world
and taking charge of your "worries"
and hence replacing bit by bit
all that is natural and UNDER control in your and by you

by their own expert, far reaching hands
of technology
where your own freedom is reduced
to be really in control
and in charge of your own experience.

therefore
they will speak of
insecurity
terrorism
and will even create and manipulate
ignorant people to do so

while the leaders
provided they are being corrupted
or blackmailed
will let such small lies be
then these lies will affect
the younger generation
as the younger the mind is
the easier it is to mold
they will learn to discriminate
on wrong basis
those of hate and separation
instead of Love

and today
while i was coming back home
in the metro i was suddenly
happy to see strangers
saying to myself at least they are human being
and just that feeling gave me joy

that it is such normal little things
that makes a day bright
while it could become easily hell
like in countries where there is civil war right now

or when come a time
where the human being will become
more than now "connected" to machines
and will lose his graceful, ever so sensitive
human touch and beam.

right in my avenue as i was walking it up
i suddenly stopped
when i saw ahead of me
that all in my horizon/ view of the moment
was integrated in one
that everything was really at its place

what i mean by that
is that usually
when i used to walk up the avenue
i could only see a certain tree
like this greenery or that
see a person
or something else which would catch my attention
to which i would give more emphasise
be it by devaluing it
or let s by seeing that it is devalued in my mind already
or by seeing that it is what i always like and uplift, see?

this is how i had a vision of separation i realised!

but now,
i could see the avenue , the horizon i mean
as one, as integrated
i.e. literally speaking it was a ONE thing i could see
like when you look at your hand you would say i see ONE hand
you won't say oh i am seeing 5 fingers and 5 nails and palm lol
you would say A hand
same here i could see A avenue
i.e. i could on the spot see it as ONE and NOT as USUAL on the spot see a PART of its element
if i had to LABEL it!

yeah!
it reminds me
when God taught adam ALL of the "names"
it meant this
the knowledge of labelling
but from labelling we fell into separating !
instead of having FIRST the feeling of the WHOLE ONE picture
and THEN label it to experience one or another element (attention divided or outside)
and then we go back to inside (ie where our attention is not on one stuff§element/emphasizing it, otherwise it would create duality if it is on one element see?)
so where attention can withdraw from the element?
on itself!
so this is the vibrations
because it is feeling itself awakened
and then
somehow

when it is feeling itself
it should NOT
and it is what the mistake people do
use this fuel/power
to criticise others
it should instead
thank the power to be able to feel the warmth of human presence
in the other

then
once his attention has not fallen in this outer trap

then,
and only then
it can SEE the view ahead of it as one
why?
because everything would be put on the SAME level

imagine lol
if you create a group
and keep devaluing some and uplifting others
the group would be no more
for the balance is broken
and it shift on the uplifted one
this shift of attention will create the "departure" of others
and in the whole picture they will get erased from your group and life
and the group will be no more

same for the landscape in this avenue ahead of me
liking and disliking is one thing
but when i used to see trees
i would only praise them in me
because i love trees
but i kept in myself seeing and acknowledging that
the street which is made of tar is not to my liking
or what is this strange person going here and there

while today naturally
i learned to be grateful, joyous and feeling warmth
seeing precisely such things i used to devalued
only by remembering that what is now
is so much comfy that what could be worse
and that this human warmth overpower any mechanical and technological "presence"

so somehow
i gave credit to the things i disliked
not by making an effort
to transform mentally into a liking
but merely by recognising this comfy warmth in them
the spirit.

then,
later
by itself
the balance shifted
and vision became clear
and unified
and i could FEEL the landscape in front of me as INTEGRATED and one
i felt as my vision was broader
as if lol before i had only 60% of vision on sides
and now 160%

and yes elements some of them stood out
while they had fainted so much from that "group" before
thus they came back to "life" :) in my world

not that they were dead
for they always stood tall as now in the street
be it trees, people or lamp posts

but IN MY VISION, in MY WORLD
they were dead
this is WHY i could not see them

this is the working of attention IN,
and then the USE of it OUT
where you do not put emphasize on like and dislike
but only on what i call this human warmth today
ie the spirit
and then by itself
the balance shifted
and the vision worked out as one and integrated.

this is it
it makes me smile
how this feeling of just a second
is impossible to share
except if i write such a long detailed post

once i do this
then i feel like i lost it not
that it has been shared with honesty details
and i hide none of the factors that helped me to experience that.

:)
kiss:x

Silence in meditation

        i meditated one hour

        it felt like it just flew away

 i got a vision where i saw myself going out of a church

and outside it was all light

and a voice said

do u want to see the awakened stars?

and i just stepped inside (this light)

right after this vision, all i could hear was only deep silence in my head

it feels like itching on scalp a bit everywhere

and i felt very cool wrists

the interpretation of this

is that i left the old belief of spirituality 

that i had acquired mentally about islam and what true surrender was

and as i heard the voice of the Spirit

i trusted It

when it offered me to see the awakened souls

what a wholly awakened soul look like

and i stepped inside the Light.

this was two days ago.

 

today, i meditated very early at 3h30 in the morning 

for about 1h30 i guess

by the end of my meditation

i felt such a DEEP and STRONG silence

i have never felt it before

it was so strong that it felt like it was ALL 

like all the space by itself

and as gradually my attention was returning outside

it felt like 

this:

the strong silence 

and its deepness was like the inside of an ocean

and the more my attention was going outside

the more it was fading away 

as i was resurfacing 

and finally, 

as i could hear the surrounding atmosphere 

it felt like the silence faded away

like waves on the shore

yes the silence just thinned

all the way my attention went inside out.

Remembering the past

suddenly i just remembered my past
when i was seeking truth
and there was no one
really no one

to hear me
no one was in my world

yes
for someone to be in your world
he needs to listen to you
to share something
even a little thought of truth with you
but there was no one

and those who were the most "near"
by then to the title of seeker of truth
or of the worshipper of the One

where all blind
because they could not see me how i was
they heard me talking in order to change me
because i was not fitting in their world
and it was a proof against them
but they never listened to me.

so their own pain was 
of seeing me like this,
sad because i found not what i was seeking,

so to solve their pain
they only thought
the right solution
was that i became like them

while some others
just deserted
may be they were better than the formers

because at least
they were not trying to color me in their own color
against my will

they only saw no solution
to help me find truth
so they stopped believing in me
ever reaching it

but when nothing left
and i only saw everyone
just helpless for me

i understood
they are unable to hear me
because themselves
they cannot hear their own self

they think all is ok within them
so how can they wish themselves to change for the better?
as a result they wanted to change others
and me too
thinking i had lost mind
seeking and speaking about truth
while all that was, was the life in the now

but themselves
if they had the true words
they were not living them
they were not and still are not living in the now

it was such a hard time
it was hell to me
i had really reached the end of all possibility
of my own world, religion as man understand it

i sought all over
towards the end
i sought fervently, asking even to strangers about inner truth
but all they could do was just give me dead word of advice
nothing real
nothing that could transform me into the likeness of the world of truth

that was so hard
because innerly i knew i was coming to my end
for, i knew that all the past ten years i had sought for truth

whenever i used to do zikr
or read good lines
or any sufi translation and interpretation of some inner self meaning
i felt day dreaming
and the dreams were gradually becoming my hopeful world
because they were so much filled with beauty about God

even though by word
i knew God is within
i took dreams, which were only the effect of this search,
as real, as my reality
thinking they would help me to make right choice in real life
these dreams were true
but they were not giving me the key of what is surrender to God
and how i could achieve it

so i just wished surrender
because  this would have been my protection
against this crazy world
where only living, working, eating, marrying and reproducing was an aim

as i had tried every possibility
i knew i was at the end

because i tested my belief
i tested people who claimed to be on the right path
and i found nothing
no one

as no help was coming
i did with what i have
when i looked into myself
i saw that the only thing that remained
while i lost everything
because it passed not the test
it was my desire

and so i admitted to myself
that only my desire for truth is left to me
and that is the only thing true in me
and that if this very thing could not be fulfilled
or if it cannot get a reply
if it cannot just by Itself attract what is to be attracted
for me to progress
then
i was at the end of my life

even if people who "cared" for me
thought they were being caring
by wanting me to be like them
and forget this desire
then they were not caring for me
but only for themselves
for their own world to exist
and me as exception to be converted
to the rules of theirs
so that everything goes back to normal

but even so,
even if i had wished to comply
i could not
because the desire was there
and nothing could change It
remove it or make me forget it

it was like it was just me

so i could hear it crying
can one say so?
can a desire cry?
at least i was the one crying

one may think
how is it possible to cry for something so abstract
but it was not
it was just the underlying drive
it was my drive

and a drive left unfulfilled
becomes your hell
if not your heaven


but when i found the key
to get colored into the color of God
when i found the Help of the Spirit
this is when i cried from relief
so heavy it had been prior to it

and only those who are aware of This spirit within
know it
see it
and are with me.

since then
i was never alone
i learned again to forget this painful striving
and leave it in the past
because it was like a torture

never ever in my life i had lived that
nor i will ever live it
it feels like i had reached the bottom of a bottomless pit

just before my life changed for the best
i had seen joyous signs paving the way to it

while doing zikr in my room
i had seen all of a sudden
Mother mary taking out water out of well
and then i saw her
washing her small tiny room where she used to live
and her face was beaming with joy
because she was happy and yes in joy to wash it
face beaming with joy
and a heart so content
you know why?
because all of her attention was on this single task
and she was all at joy and peace on this unique thing she was doing

then i got my spontaneous self realisation

and right the night after i saw in a vision
my own birth

later,
i understood
that it was what in christianity
jesus called "to be born twice,
first of flesh, then of water"

even after that
if i had remained on my own
i would have never lasted long
it is ONLY because of a kind fate
can one say so?

that i found my way to progress
to transformation
to change for the best.

so, only the remembering of the past
can truly make me appreciative of the now
but i sort of worked hard to forget it
not to have to remember
how people are in truth
their own enemies
and thus of their own kind,

unknowingly.

yes, they think to do good
but they most of time only do the wrong thing
they think to help
but have been only been the very obstacle

because they are ignorant of their self
so are oblivious to them and thus to the other seeker of truth.

i hope
i will use my time
to the best of its use

by meditating everyday
to the best of my ability.


ameen.

Great Movie!

i was watching a movie,

well there was this spiritual dude in it
well i loved him for his curiosity
always seeking

with the only rule
"that i MAKE THE RULES"

so powerful!

well at some point
when he was facing his biggest fear
and his belief was challenged

as to what was before universe
for he was aware that there is always his ability to create beyond the (created) universe

but the before universe
was there lying and chained
the idea of fear
the idea of darkness

and he faced it
stood tall
and his excellent acting

made me feel as he felt

this innerly gut feeling arising
this gut feeling FULL of POWER

that arise and transpierce your eyes
and illuminate your head
WITH THE KNOWLEDGE
that you are ALL KNOWING the traits of the situation where you are
and that there is nothing to feel threatened with
or to fear

and you stand tall
and firm
and full of power

with this powerful gut feeling
of being RIGHT
the rightness being your search of experience
where you test yourself
and see
therefore
thanks to this test
that only Your SELF exist
meaning
that no situation is outside of yourself

so even less threatening the you

and this realisation
makes you stand tall
that you have always been safe
and are safe

forever.

ps : will have to add the movie link
... later
well, if i still desire it :))

pps : was having a talk sooner with an italian guy
he told me he was very very much disappointed by the French low level
of savoir être and lack of self honesty, meaning hypocrisy

well, i say,
i don't care 
last week, having experienced enough of it
i stopped caring for people who care not for themselves
it is like a pitless well
the more you try to share
the less they get

plus, the total lack of HONEST sharing
is the USELESS thing

you are what you are on the spot
but there are too much pretending and calculation
and people think i don't see it on their face
i can even hear their thoughts
so much they are serving them - like slaves

so he stopped wasting his time as well

better live life for joy
then to expect to see people improve
very very very
have i said very?

very rare are the people who are daring with themselves
and TRUE.