Natural Drive

if there is no more drive
then self obviously

the inner life can no more flow

and when the river is no more
life is no more.

Reality of heaven and hell

what is Reality?

even the word Reality is not really true, real i.e. rightly understood by us

i never was religious from the beginning,
but spiritual
by then i had no clue that even the word spiritual existed

i only knew that i liked to discover inner beauties
as if i was literally uncovering lid fro a can

so when i went on an islamic forum
and saw so much division
that hit me
for i never thought that division in what is called the last and completed religion existed

so i declared by then,
that God does not takes side even if it is called islam
but protects Truth

this i was innerly sure of,
it was a sure shot

innerly i felt disconnected with the inner touch
when i met a sort of muslim teacher

who was so much more in touch with quran
that i wanted to follow the quranic teaching

but the thing is
people knows more the letter of it
than the spirit of it

from that time i lost touch with my inner self
and that used to be soft

once i tried to be "honest"
i felt it was impossible to practice religion
and i felt my heart became hard

somehow i met a sufi group
so that was the spirituality i was always attracted with

that time was really particular
for i was so much in touch with my inner world of dreams and visions

this was a total mind blowing experience

for it opened a door to perception
to right perception on some regards

and that is :
hell and heaven exist
right now

as said in the Constantine movie :

 John Constantine: But when you cross over time stops. Take it from me, two minutes in hell is a lifetime. When I came back I knew all the things I could see were real. Heaven and hell are right here. Behind every wall, every window. The world behind the world, and we're smack in the middle. 

watching this movie
when i heard Heaven and Hell are right here

it reminded me my own dreams and visions in that period of my life

the new breakthrough by then in my life
was to really understand
that Heaven and Hell are NOW and NOT later, not once we are dead we go to heaven and hell

i can related to the muslims reading that
for each single counter truth i may seem to say
because i went through them all

it can be proven 
by simple logic 
in hadith is it not said 
the way we die is the way we are raised up?

if we die as a believer we are raised as such in heaven 
if we die as a disbeliever we are raised as such in hell

because our last moment is NOT a moment OUT of Time
it is NOT to come

it is ALREADY there!
by the very choices we do in the now and then
we choose either to take the PATH leading to heaven 
or the PATH leading to hell

and the PATH itself is heaven if we die on it
or the path itself is hell if we die on it

as in the hadith of the guy 
who chose to show abnegation to God to be forgiven
after having killed so many people
he died while travelling to a saint place

and while he was half way between the heaven and hellish place
angels of both sides fought to know who shall get his soul
and finally due to his INTENTION set 
God shortened the path to heaven for him
thus he was counted among the heavenly ones

so it is true 
each of our decisions and choices BUILD up to our heaven or hell 
and NOT as to COME 
but as IS.

heaven and hell are ON THE SPOT
it is NEVER after

the word HEREAFTER - Akheera 
means MORE than the english image of hereafter 
we misunderstand it as AFTER the NOW

just by browsing on net one can already find  this :

f. akrabajamaa , utani % ukoo.} 
Ahora. n. and Akhera, Aheri, 
(i) that \vhuh is last (or behind, 
or beyond), the end, the last stage; 
(a) cs'i world, fun 

source : https://archive.org/stream/swahilienglishdi00madauoft/swahilienglishdi00madauoft_djvu.txt

Akheera with the meaning of LAST, as in LAST stage , that which is BEHIND or BEYOND the seen

like in the prayer of the Prophet :

Allah shows me things as they REALLY ARE.

it is because by then in his time

people went out of sheer period of ignorance

hardly learning that one should should not stone to death baby girls

so how could, except for a few, on a mass scale, higher level consciousness be taught to 

people who were so much LOW in their mind

by the way, this is why the prophet said in his last sermon 

report my worlds to next generation 

for they may understand more/better.

!

it is about understanding more deeply WHEN you ASCEND as SOUL 

and your consciousness is raised from lower to HIGHER worlds of understanding!

another word for low is the root word of Dunia 

muslims takes too narrow mindedly the meaning of dunia

i know because i went through it

dunia is seen as the life on this earth

that one should shun 

so that one reap all for the akeehra in the after life after death

but dunia is NOT this world 

dunia is the LOWER part of this world/time

how can time be LOW 

when this very time can be your savior?

Daani', which literally something which is low, lowly, insignificant, 

something of inferior value

source : islamhelpline.net  

so the lower aspect of this life, 

in another word, lower consciousness is this dunia

but if you ASCEND, i.e. do the Miraaj as the prophet did, 

as you are supposed to work for it in ramadan 

then, you can LIVE in this world without being part of the dunia

this is why in a hadith

it was said of a man who came with his ablution water dripping from his face

that he is from the people of heaven (prophet saying)

while other companions of prophets 

tried to see lol by stalking him all day long or week long what he did for that 

what extra prayer he did

and finally as they found not

they asked him please tell us 

and he said

i do nothing

except that i forgive those who hurt me

and how could he be SEEN as HE REALLY IS ON THE SPOT 

as a person of heaven?

because heaven was HIS STATE in the NOW

and how he went to heaven ?

by forgiving constantly 

so, 

when keanu reeves said : 

hen I came back I knew all the things I could see were 
real. Heaven and hell are right here. Behind every wall, every window. 
The world behind the world, and we're smack in the middle. 

that is all true!

by then, 

when i used to see heavenly like pictures

because i was more in a temporary state of goodness

i used to be so happy

as if i was in another world though living in this one

but when i had constrained myself by attaching myself to 

self reproach, guilt and sorrow

i saw literally speaking hell

felt it 

and when i used to got up from these nightmares

i could still feel scorch on the skin, if i had been hurt during it.

it is ONLY because of the awakening of the cool breeze

that i started to learn to LET GO and FORGIVE myself.

our own body will become heaven or hell

by the way we choose to address ourselves 

yes the way we address others is the way we address ourselves ON THE SPOT

it is not a far off connection

for i learned a few weeks ago

that if i hit my foot 

the nerves got shocked and the hurt ascended up the spine!

therefore back got hurt! though there is no apparent link between a foot and back hurt! 

and i understood 

1-the meaning of resonating - we, being a resonator 

2-the meaning of extending limbs 

such as 

if foot hurt lead me to accumulated in my spine, nervous system the hurt felt 

then what about my hands when they give hurt to someone else?

it means , that me too i accumulated inside of me ON THE SPOT the hurt i am sending out

by extension i am the Beauty i recognise and give to others

and the hellfire that i nourish in acting so towards others and thus myself.

it is the FIRST time i REALLY lived the experience of 

the OTHER as YOURSELF

by the way :)

did you know that Keanu (Reeves) means in Hawaii language "the cool breeze over the Mountain"!:)

Bad Mood

i had a real bad mood yesterday

the thing with bad mood
is that you WANT TO STAY WITH IT
as looooooooooooooong as it takes

and then, had i had my fiancé in front of me
i would have smashed his head

lol
hehehe

so,
having a bad mood is OK
actually it is important to avoid it
  

however..is also important to see,,who is watching the bad mood,,?..


is the witness
is the arising and passing away..of mental citta factors
(citta = is our attention, the mental + emotional sides)

if you do NOT do it on the spot..you CAN get stuck on bad citta

this is WHY i was SO MUCH ENGROSSED in that BAD MOOD
that i did not want to calm down
for i had taken it as MY ID by then, so much i identified myself with it


and why it was so?
because i refused to meditate..while in the BAD mood..to ,,see,, the mood

so meditation ON THE SPOT
allow us to SEE ourselves, here to see my bad mood

but true, 
who wants to SEE that which is bad? 
i prefer on the spot to have a fighting character 
a real bad one
instead of seeing it passing 

which means
preferring to identify more and more with it by allowing time to pass like that
instead of seeing it passing!

that is so stupid of me
hopefully 
next time i will raise my energy ON THE SPOT
to SEE the state of emotions i am IN

so that it JUST be a PASSING thing 
as it was MEANT TO BE

and NOT something sticky lol