Eclipse and gate keeper

i dreamt
there was an eclipse
and a puja
i came at the end of it

people were in disorder
and it was a bit of untidy place

i found three blessed bouquets offered to shri mataji
but thrown like this and forgotten
so i took them

and i met a guy
in real life no one hardly talked to
even mock him

i was told such people
to whom people rarely talked to
are very special

i guess people are not open enough
to benefit from them

and he said to me
in the us is different from france
as there he could be himself plainly

and i told him
is because he already has all he is in him
only there circumstances were favorable
for him to open up and be
(you see like a flower
you already are
but you can open up only there
as right circumstances are gathered)

so here in france
he could not feel himself as worthy
so i told him he is already the same
just circumstances allow him not
to show it and live it

i guess human being needs the right time and place
thus circumstances to discover themself
and blossom as such
we lack nothing really

yea
on my way out
i met a sort of monkey
that i took on my lap
but it happened to be an egyptian son
of a huge statue with a face of horse
it was horus

i was told he is a demi god
a gatekeeper
the protector of innocence
he protects the astral entry

and thus as the us guy told me
he feels better since he got the right circumstances
as for me he meant is a a sign of my new life beginning
which will be way better

true now i remember an eclipse is the sign of change


also i understood
i got access in dream
to the consciousness plane

lol it means i can see what is going on
different level of worlds (of consciousness)
sporadically

rabb il alamin
i guess i understand more
this word
the lord and provider of worlds (of consciousness)

Seeing myself in the other

as i was talking about the last post of mine
i better understood the feeling of seeing myself in the other

actually
it was like, i, namely the mind of mine
which was in my own body
was witnessing

myself in the other,
as if it was my face and smile in the other

so in brief
it was like my in-body mind
witnessing
my out of body inner face
in the other

Keenly watching you - Ar Raqib The Observer

There is an amazing thing
i happened to talk to another yogi
and when he put his elbow on the table
and hold his face with his hands

and watched me
and smiled

i got an internal HIT
for i SWEAR i thought it was ME!

on the spot i just had this feeling
it is funny is me

but later when i reviewed it
i was SURE it was me

and that i was smiling at myself...

and when i mentioned it to a friend
i had goosebumps
and really i felt a HUGE fear
not a negative fear
but an awesome fear

this awesome fear
i found it
it came from where

it is because God Presence
Spirit Presence is FULL FORCE
STRONG and HEAVILY ANCHORED and PRESENT and WATCHING YOU

that is awesome
yes in awe

and i know why the word fear came in
because the mind life is nothing
compared to this VERY Force

had i had this experience
if i were not a believer
i would have been in horror

i know why

because when the mind
has never seen His OWN LIGHT of spirit within
the ego that is to die is afraid

but an enlightened mind to some degree
can recognise it
and the seeing of Itself in the Other
will be really lovely

so first i felt it lovely, no cute rather and funny
it is me
and then when i recalled the event
and tried to see why it HIT me so clearly that it is me
it was like trying to peel an onion
and after i peeled off the physical form
lol
i felt the AWE of the Forceful Presence

soooooooooo beautiful
i am just happy :)

lol even here i can see sun rays coming out of my screen :)

ah!
is so great
i LOVE that presence

there is no word
it was ME

and i was afraid of ME :)
well if i try to go to the core of it
i can't
hence i know it is not peelable lol
more than the form of the physical person

if i try to peel it more
in my mind
i just have goosebumps lol
like an ever watching presence
which can't be disturbed, faked, tricked in removing his gaze off me

is like
whatever play you enter in life
you think God get his attention in the play? lol
He never does
His Attention is Ever on You

Keenly smiling knowingly at you and again i say it
with unmovable, unshakeable presence.

"Happy"

[Verse 1:]
It might seem crazy what I'm about to say
Sunshine she's here, you can take a break
I'm a hot air balloon that could go to space
With the air, like I don't care baby by the way

{Uh}

[Chorus:]
Because I'm happy
Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
Because I'm happy
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
Because I'm happy
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you
Because I'm happy
Clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do

[Verse 2:]
Here come bad news talking this and that, yeah,
Well, give me all you got, and don't hold it back, yeah,
Well, I should probably warn you I'll be just fine, yeah,
No offense to you, don't waste your time
Here's why

[Chorus]

{Hey
Go
Uh}

[Bridge:]
(Happy)
Bring me down
Can't nothing
Bring me down
My level's too high
Bring me down
Can't nothing
Bring me down
I said (let me tell you now)
Bring me down
Can't nothing
Bring me down
My level's too high
Bring me down
Can't nothing
Bring me down
I said

[Chorus x2]

{Hey
Go
Uh}

(Happy) [repeats]
Bring me down... can't nothing...
Bring me down... my level's too high...
Bring me down... can't nothing...
Bring me down, I said (let me tell you now)

[Chorus x2]

{Hey
C'mon}

Thanks to Afza, Jacob Perry, Ciara, Susan Hubbart, curtis nash, Todd for correcting these lyrics.

source : http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/pharrellwilliams/happy.html

Healing 2

Yesterday an amazing thing happened
at first i was doubtful of it
for i thought not i healed her
but i got confirmation it was me

after some phone chit chat
the girl called me back
to let me know
that after our chit chat
all of her left channel was crazily shaking
and she felt as something negative
went out of her

i do remember
sometimes i invite people
and nearly all of them
say they feel the whole of the nabhi
getting cool

well
if you are not a generous person
i guess you can't heal the center of generosity
which is the nabhi right?

same about the left channel of that girl
i had my focus on her
when talking

this is the good thing about
focus
if you have all of your attention
focused on some point
then the very blessings pour onto
and what is healing?

it is just creating the space of the person
to feel relieved

and this can happen
without me intending it

for as i said
i only set intention
that i wish for the other what i wish for myself
when i speak to them

and that is to feel Free and of course happy for it!

kiss:x

I am your mirror

Word of advice
today i got a heated exchange with a girl
sent by another

lol
have i told you ?
i have acute intuition
and thoughts guessing
i guess the Spirit informs me of what is behind the scene?

even if people hide themselves
behind others?
and send them as crow?

hahaha
kidding
may be not?

anyway,
so basically
i made her clear the previous article on this blog

clear and fair enough?

The other being a mirror to you
is ALL within
for you to settle it WITHIN

i am Free
and wish others Free too

so let's love ourselves first
and learn to be lenient to ourselves

we will automatically be so to others.

kiss:x
love you:)

Ego or Unconditional love?

Rule of thumb
people are a mirror to us

meaning
we try NOT to change people
but we try to change ourselves


otherwise
under the pretext of wishing for someone to be better
or an improved person
we are actually IMPOSING on him
our OWN standards and felt values
be they shared by majority or not

as one wise guy said
if i am in line with the majority
i better question myself....

why?
because Truth lies into asserting yourself
WITHOUT imposing your values on the others.

asserting yourself
is not an effort
is the natural outcome
of letting your inner aspiration arise
and let it shine and express itself



Now what is difference between asserting yourself/ your individuality/ your ego?
none
key word is
to love yourself
unconditionally
so that you do not judge yourself
by way of diluting yourself
for others

for if you try to "adjust" and please others
you will never make it
aim is to feel free
and feel your light expressing itself
and shining

by loving yourself first unconditionnally
de facto you will love the others likewise
how so?

say,
i love Freedom
"Truth sets you free"

Evolution in Freedom

if someone comes and gives me a pair of advice
i hear it
and jauge it
is it or not in line with my inner aspiration
of evolution?

does it click?
it is a feel
a gut feeling

and i stand on my ground
i learned best is to stand for Truth
never dilute your Truth for some superficial compromise
of "looking good"
always be yourself

if it fits good, fine.
if it fits not i let it aside
may be some time it will
but proportionally to my path of evolution

now,
if under the pretext of matching
other people expectation i have to change behavior
i know it would be wrong

for i NEVER requires others' to change

ONLY if a person crosses limits of decency with me
then i will not tolerate
this too with time will not bother me i guess
as one is constantly evolving
but for now
i KNOW i will bark back
if someone transgresses limits of decency and basic respect with me

but for now
my level of evolution is such
that i wish for the other what i wish for myself
and that is FREEDOM to BE.

if i have a reproach or a judgement to someone
i have two ways
one is to say it on the spot
this i only do if those limits are crossed
two is to keep it to myself
for after my lol funny phase of judging the other
which is as far as i recall human lol
i WILL and this i say it again
FORGIVE and let GO

why?
first because i don't want to reincarnate
to be stuck in my own hellish judgmeent

second because by nature
and also because i learned it this year

NEVER EVER
EVEN under pretext of applying your own HIGH standards to others
i repeat it
never ever try to impose on others your high standards of behavior

for you are as you are
thanks to Grace of God
He/She brought you to this level of evolution
so instead of being thankful at your turn
and grateful to Him
and give a break to others too
so that they evolve at their pace
you are trying to FORCE evolution upon them?

only because you have standards
and you think yours are better than theirs?

but who are you to think that?

if it were so
God would have given us all same religion
and same standards to evolve through.
is only because He loves diversity
and diversity is a Mercy

so you should LEARN to develop EMPATHY
and leniency and being flexible towards the other

as God has been Loving to you
and let you in your OWN time and space
find the self that you are today!

this is real thanks giving
in action
not only in word

now this being said,
some times we do feel
people are so and so
and we are unhappy by them
by their behavior
or we are having suspicion or reproach against them

then what?
either you act like a man or you shut up lol

acting like a man
is saying nicely to the person
ok may be you could try this next time
if it clicks naturally with the person
then happy go lucky

if not
then you are NOT
to overhaul like a dictator over him
to impose your standards
for yours are not his

nor is of any value to backbite
for you are forgetting
as jesus said :

instead of seeing the flaw in the eyes of the other
see the pillar in your own.

meaning,
if someone bothered you 
then thank the person innerly for teaching you
that inside yourself you have impurity
and then evacuate it
evacuate this frustration

it is not the person who has to change
but you
this is how you evolve

evolution is not about others telling you
what to change

evolution is when you feel inside you dislikes (about others)
then you overcome them within
by letting go
by purifying it

so don't mix up stuff :

ego, evolution, judgment and unconditional love
are all aspects to be worked upon within

not pointing AT the others
otherwise too easy
and if you behave so
then you are no different than any other religious fanatics

so learn leniency and compassion and unconditional love for your self
first

meaning :
accept the present state of yours
without any guilt
even if others accuse you

for the only hurdle to your evolution
is if you judge others
and demand change from others
and impose your standards and values onto others

again i say it
if someone bothers you
after the all so human judgement
is time to let go and forgive
easily said than done
but at least if you are aware
of that is good

second
people misunderstand the meaning of "being a  mirror to the others"

if someone comes and ask you
to be so and so
use your own judgement
it clicks go for it
it does not click in your belly
for it is where your well beingness center is
then don't do it

now if this person says
but i am a mirror to you
you should apply what i say

then it is ignorance

being a mirror
is when you see someone
and inside of you
something is bothered
you are annoyed

THIS VERY annoyance
IS the VERY thing you have to PURIFY
and thank the mirror for its role

capish?

so if i am not bothered
lol why should i pretend to be bothered ?
hahaha

as the name says it
the mirror reflects to you IN you
but a mirror talks not
ok?

so now if a moving mirror
comes and tell me
change this and this
i know he is a pretender
more or less himself ignorant
of what being a mirror means

finally,
what is ego?
you have the ego as individuality
meaning thanks to it
you are who are you as a person
and that is great and awesome
and this is always evolving surely
but is never "bad"

self assertion as individuality
is in the manifestation realm

nothing to do with the Source which
is the spirit
which is another realm

for the Spirit (Source) is manifested in the Individuality (Soul)
call it positive ego

and the negative ego
is when you want the others to be LIKE YOU
when you impose on others your own standards
of behavior
or criticise them for their lack of such and such manners and sense
etc.

all of this are fake excuses
and missed opportunities for yourself to evolve
and do your own job

now is OK
to judge
again we are human
habits are hard to leave
but what counts AFTER is have i LET it GONE?

all of this well sum up in this very quote  :


“The time is NOW to be who I am,
Fully expressed as a woman or man,
Releasing the guilt of man-made religions,
To be an example for the next generations : IN LOVING UNCONDITIONNALLY MYSELF"

-by anonymus


see?
"fully expressed as a woman or man"
this means you fully assert your VERY personality
just BE yourself
whatever others think or feel
just be yourself , aligned with your OWN consciousness

this is loving yourself unconditionally
and if you are sincere with yourself
this is felt by the sincere ones too
and they love you for it

the other ones
are just not sincere
for they are still stuck in trying to change you
according to their own "laws" of what is right or not.

these i call them either ignorant people (despite themselves)
or fanatics.

so choose rather
unconditional love for yourself
and you will do a favor to the others too :x

Heart burn

A few days back
i was making some tea
and when i pass my arm over the hot tea pot
which was steaming

i got burned
funny thing is i had no hurt
and did not even notice i got a mark on my forearm
next day i saw a heart shape red mark
lol

so yesterday
some yogi girl told me
it is linked with too much responsibility

another yogi
a real nice one
ah i like her
sorry that she has to leave
anyway
she said it is something probably positive

and guess what?!
she was RIGHT

for in dream
today i saw shri mataji
and she said


"..I say was a blessing..and a message..that you are on the heart path..this is called ,,syncronicity,,..as when something happen outside..and it reflects your state of being..like a heart burn on your arm.. only fools could have taken that negative."


hm, indeed :) i am happy
kiss:x
ps : this is WHY i am feeling more and more rain on the right heart!

So many blessings

ah so cool
this morning i woke up to meditate
and by the end of it
i felt a real rain
lol remember the 'wet' rain
on the back of my right heart chakra

hmm:)
i love it
it IS rain lol

now,
the day before
i was having a phone call
and while standing
just prior to it
during and after it

i was receiving
literally speaking
buckets of cool vibes

as if someone was throwin them at me
from the ground upward on the feet

then i felt another on the chest area

and the last one on top of head

this time was no cool breeze felt from within without
it was as i wrote as if a presence was throwing it on me

for at someone when i referred to this presence
while being on the phone
another all of a sudden bucket was thrown onto my heart and chest

that i literally said on the spot
ok i am not afraid but certainly am astonished and caught offguard


and i went to sleep wondering who was throwing those buckets of cool vibes to me

and i dreamt
as if was a real life moment
that i was reliving the scene of this phone call standing
and in my room a woman entered
she was all black

and as i got afraid of a presence behind me
opening my door and entering
she apologised
and i told her no is all ok
no harm only surprised

and then she praised me
for being such a formidable girl


and she gave me her name twice
for lol i could not pronounce it correctly
at the third time she had lol to spell it
and finally it happened that i still can't

anyway,
she told me she was the western version
of Kali

:)

after the dream i was living my day
with such powerful and happy mood
that i just had to thank her and accept her blessings :x
so that they fade not away :x


ah, yes
lately a yogi died
he was very advanced
but got stuck at his death time
on agnya and right vishuddhi especially
otherwise all of his right channel was messed up

people said, other yogis too that he died with smile on his face
these are apparences
reality was all other
for where was his smile there:

he was stuck in the limbo
the barzak in the islamic wording
due to his citta being stuck at death time
as i wrote a para about above

so see?
what matter is
as said in hadith
how you die

the state in which you die
is the state in which you will arise
after death

there are many details
i would like to note here
but worth not

for now at least

so first and foremost
i thank my beautiful God
to let me know such stuff
for this is real stuff

and i am so happy
that i am getting poetic lol
gotta write him/her a poem for that :x

anyway
he was trying to catch the attention
of others by moving and breaking stuff
he was very advance
this is why he could break heavy stuff

unless we helped it
without him wanting it
he could have become a demon
this is how demons exist

for demons
are oblivious to their inner God light
oblivious = darkness = power in darkness = demonic power

the ONLY thing to be done
was to get collectively
at least with 3 people
a meditation
by litting incense
WHILE litting it
dedicating it to him

why?
because no chit chat with death helps
they hear not in this case
only Images and emotions and smells they get
so incense reach them
images of this life is on the same as theirs
therefore they do not "realise"
their citta being in a semi-sleep state in barzak
that they are doing "evil"

but if they are not helped
their desperation to find help to pass over to light
may get them violently seeking for light
and even more grabbing the light giving stuff are made of...

which is soul of the individual living there...

anyway
as i knew that it is what was going to happen
and shit would have happened in this ashram of theirs
i literally went there
and grab two people to meditate with me

and dreamt after
that he passed over to the light
to a very high level astral plan
good for him
and good for them...

the poor guy
suffered a lot in this life

see?
whatever he did in this life
if people liked him not
they should have used love to let him know
see
if not working
then you let him
but criticise him not

criticising a dead person
is very bad
for he can haunt you for life

hence the ritual in all cultures and religions
the lowest being the wailing
to let the dead ones know "we care"

while the highest being "love"
but you can't send love
unless you have it
for such feelings after death
can't be fake
the dead ones know if you love them or not

i told you above
only images, scents and emotions reach them
try to fake love and they know it

so,
i dreamt he went away
happy and in peace.

in the past i would have felt sorrowful
why they did not meditate collectively
for i did my best 
to transmit them the right message
for his peace
and their own safety

but somehow
no one managed to gather at least 3 people in there
to relieve this soul and do it
other stuff have been used
except for the very thing to be done
meditation
with 3 people at least
with incense dedicated to him
sending of (real) love and vibes

that's all

but now
somehow
i am happy:)

for i am happy to have helped them
without them knowing that i saved at least
life of two people living there

for he was powerful
but was not doing "evil" on purpose
in his death realm
he thought we were also living on the same realm
so he was just trying to grab people attention
though he was very much desperate and getting angrier

the poor guy, i feel his sad heart may be,
anyway mine is getting heavy
mentioning it
for the lack of attention he received and true love.

best of deed
are deeds done as naturally as water flow
without much noise
for God sees you
and then he/she loves you more

so much that i had this above beautiful dream meeting
with such a great power of God itself

also,
as i was saying prior to it
i would have questioned myself long
as to the whys and nots of people not doing it

now,
i ended up feeling
like a river that flows
and over ride stones
that she meets in her way :)

is like
really i don't care
not in the negative sense
but in its importance ranking

priority for me are sincere people
the others are free to go on the chosen path of theirs
i am no more interested

so the not-happened/done stuff
are to some level of no more concern to me

had it been done
i would have rejoiced very much
and it would have open equally heavy door of blessings
to  them i feel
but is really beautiful to see
how by ONE deed one can miss buckets of blessings

you know why?
because in one deed
the WHOLE of universe can be expressed and contained
when it stems from the heart.

i am JUST understanding it now.

oh and my family member
dreamt of me having a baby
in a push chair
and the prophet muhammad peace be on him
taking it
and bring it up
and the baby was full of light

i think
the baby is only the symbolism
of the child/innocence in me

so i am happy again
to hear only good news from everywhere

today,
by the end of day
i saw after long time
a weirdo girl
lol i call her weirdo
for she behaves like an angel on one on one moment
and like a bhoot lol mwhahaha in circles of friend

for her eyes become black
and her tongue clap like no other talk active person
the poor she
well is the best i can say for her
for she just lack motherly love
hence she wants to fill herself up
with love from all people as much as she can get
bad thing is
she will be like an empty well
however effort she does
for she learns not to respect the other
as her self

as she told me
she plays the nice in front of people
to better manipulate them later
and she was plainly insulting them
behind their back in front of me

i was shocked to learn that
really
can such people exist?
for i can't understand how one can have
one face to them and another behind their back
is above me
unreachable
basically it means the person is betraying her own self
by being hypocrite to her own self
hence she can be so to others...

but is of no concern to me
i guess people get manipulated
for they want it too lol

so in brief
she does favor on people
to force their attention
to manipulate them...

such a looooooooooong calculation
God i am just tired of writing it lol


i gave up trying to help her
sincerity works only for those
who at least SAY they are or want to be sincere
for it is a claim that can be tested by God
but when you wish not for it
God leaves you in your shit lol
to say things plainly

for those who play double game
i just see it
all is in the eyes

and lol in the behavior too.

anyway,
i was very happy of my week end
for i had such a day filled with lovely meetings
as i said

be like a river flowing
over stones :)

kiss:x

ps: by the end of the day
i was holding a baby girl
she was so cute and nice
i raised her kundalini thrice and put it on her sahasrara
and turned her belly chakra

i heard her taking 3 small heavy breathes from it
and releasing it in her chest
and she, who was already so calm,
ended up peaceful

when she went back on the lap of her father
her eyes were FULL
beautiful

:x