Thoughtless awareness

This is called the "minimum of the minimum", meaning the first step on the path. more is to come when one work for it :

We are collective, we are nice to each other, we don't tell lies, we don't try to destroy anyone. That means we are much above human failings and this is only because of the light. You can see where you are faltering. It's just you see for yourself. For that, I think meditation is the most important thing.

Every day you should do meditation. Those who do not do meditation are capable of falling down because meditation is like putting oil into the lamp. Those who do not meditate, think they can do without it, are sadly mistaken. They have to meditate morning and evening. The problem is everything comes so handily, so simple that they don't understand that meditation is very important.

Not you, but there are many I know who get Realization, who don't meditate and their style is different. Their nature is different. Meditation is such a soothing thing ... a beautiful way of connection with the Divine, that all your problems get solved in that meditative moment.

If you are not meditating, you are not following meditation, then maybe your light will go down. It won't give sufficient light. It's important, very important to find out about yourself, about others in the meditation.

How to do meditation, many people ask. Don't do anything, just go into thoughtless awareness. Try to go to the thoughtless awareness. If you can get into that condition of thoughtless awareness, you can do your job because that's the point where you are with the truth, with the reality, with the joy....

When you meditate try not to make some sort of a function out of it - no. Meditation is something silent in yourself, silence in your thoughts and going to that deep ocean which is within you, itself. But supposing you don't do that, if you don't meditate. I can make out immediately those who are meditating and those who are not. It's not difficult for Me.

Those who do not meditate are always hesitating. They are confused. They can't understand. And that's why meditation is the most important thing....Just like a light burns with the electricity flowing in it, in the same way meditation is a continuous availability of the Divine Force. That will reduce all your agitations.

Not only that, but it takes out all the negative thoughts. It takes out all the discouraging things. And when you are meditating like that, thoughtless awareness, then you will be amazed how you are helped from within and without. It's a terrible power that works, this thoughtless awareness. So those who do not meditate cannot go very much far with the advantage of Sahaj Yog....

If you are in thoughtless awareness, what happens to you is that you get the confidence, complete confidence of divinity. You know you have it....Meditation will give you security.... It will give you are a real enlightenment and a complete connection with the Divine. Without the connection of the Divine, what's the use of doing Sahaj Yog?...

I've talked so much about meditation before, but today when I see all these candles burning, I think they are all meditating. They are all in meditation and that's how they're growing. In the same way, Sahaja Yogis who meditate, I know. And those who don't, I know. And if they have problems, I know why the problems are there....

It's very important to become thoughtlessly aware because then there are no thoughts coming from the left or the right, from the past or the future. Just in the present you are there. It's something you all have. It's not that I'm saying that to you, but all of you have this, but steady yourself. You have to steady yourself at thoughtless awareness. How long - that's not the point. The point is once you've touched it, you'll go on touching it....

It is always described in all the great books, but not so clearly as I am telling you.... Even for a second, if you get it, it's a very good idea. Then you go on increasing that second.

I think it's a reflecting mind. When you look at something, you can become thoughtlessly aware and then your mind deflects to the depth of what you see. That's how you all will become really very creative Sahaja Yogis....

Many people are here who will say, 'Mother, we don't get that state.' Try. Try that. I don't believe you cannot get it. All of you can get that thought that 'I can get it.' And you will get it. In that, you don't have to discard anything, you don't have to see anything, just go into meditation and you will be amazed how it will work out. Of course, you are very much there, most of you, but still, I would say, increase that thoughtless awareness, that area....

So today's message is that while you are meditating, go into thoughtless awareness. No thought is important because it's your own creation. But if you have to become one with the divine creation, you have to get to that state of thoughtless awareness, minimum of minimum. And that comes to you gradually if you grow and you'll be amazed how you'll be able to grow into Sahaja Yoga in a very big way.

(Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi, Diwali Puja2002)

source : http://www.sahajayoga.ca/Meditation/thoughtless.htm

Surrender and progress

I really like this short and to the point post about surrender :
may i benefit simply from it :

What does it mean to 'Surrender'?
What is the Significance of Realization?
Why is Meditation important in Sahaja Yoga?
What does our Spirit represent?
What is the importance of our Attention in Sahaja Yoga?
How does Kundalini energy make us aware of our Chakras?

First is to Surrender
Though your consciousness is enlightened by self-realization it is not yet enlightened by joy. That is, something happens to all of you gradually, as I told you, and should happen to all of you as soon as possible. What is there to surrender - the force that itself is flowing towards you and nourishing. Do we say the lotus has surrendered itself to its fragrance? Do we say that the sun has surrendered itself to its brilliance? Do we say that the moon has surrendered itself to its coolness? It would be absurd to say like that. The word ''surrender'' sometimes can mean only, at the most, in the context of Sahaja Yoga that we surrendered our egos, our limitations, and our shallowness, what we have achieved is... our own. We have surrendered all that is useless for something that is great and eternal. This weight of the ignorance has to drop out. (Switzerland, 1983) 
petals : i had always read in quran, surrender, surrender, surrender
i always wonder ok but HOW?!
 
After Realization 
Now those who have got realization, those who have felt the vibrations must know that they are now developing into another being. The germination has started, and you must allow the germination to work out in its own way. But normally when we get realization also, we don't realize that it is a tremendous thing that has happened within us. That this triggering, which is an impossibility, has taken place within us and it has to work out slowly. It has to develop and evolve us into that and because we don't feel it, we don't take it that seriously, as we should, our realization does not grow.
Moreover, we are surrounded by people who have not felt the vibrations. They don't know this area, they have never seen it. … They don't know that there is a power of God that exists, which understands, coordinates, cooperates with you, which is working in the collective being, which makes you aware of that collective being and of others also.
So one has to realize that it is love, and love is the basis of all this creation. God has created this world this universe only because He loves you and He wants to bestow His blessings on you because He loves you. But how far you love yourself is the problem. How far you understand yourself is the problem. You don't evaluate yourself and that is the reason why, though the Kundalini has risen and you have got realization, your vibrations are flowing, the growth is very slow. Because attention has been outside and even after realization it is outside. Sometimes it is sucked in and again it goes outside. Then we don't change our old habits at all. We go on sticking to these old habits. Our structure of life, our styles of thinking, continues to be the same. Again we find ourselves lost into the same shambles. (15.10.1979, London) 

Importance of Meditation
Now you all have realized by this time that within us lays the peace, the beauty, the glory of our being. There's an ocean of all that. We cannot seek it outside. We have to go within - what they call "in the meditative state" you seek it, you enjoy it. Like when you are thirsty, you go to a river, or you go to an ocean, and try to quench your thirst. But even the ocean cannot give you sweet water. So, how can anything that is spread outside give you that deep thing that is within you. You are trying to find it outside, where it does not lie. It is within us, absolutely within us. It is so simple because it is your own. It is within your reach, just there. Whatever you have been doing-going out to find the joy, is so-called joy, and is so-called happiness, so-called glory of worldly powers and worldly possessions. You have to reverse it back - the whole thing. You have to project 'within yourself'. It was not wrong that you went out. You should not feel sorry for what you have done so far. It was not a correct way to get to the real joy of life, the "real glory" of your being. It has worked in so many people, that you have entered into that subtler understanding. Some people are only at a mental level, maybe, doesn't matter. Maybe some are only at a physical level that they can feel it. It doesn't matter. But you are on the correct lines. You are moving correctly.
Try to meditate. Meditate more, so that you reach that inner being. And this inner being is the vast ocean of bliss, which exists in every one of us. In the vast flood of light, that floods everybody's inner beauty. So to approach it, you have to go "within" yourself, by denying things which are against it, against your movement. (14.03.1983, Australia)

Representation of Our Spirit
What is Spirit? What work is it doing residing within us and how is it related to God? It is said that Spirit is the reflection of God in our heart. This reflection is like that of the sun in water. Although reflection of the sun is seen in water, he is away in the sky and not in water. Similarly Spirit is as much as it is seen, it is beyond all that and not limited by it. But, for any reflection to be clearly visible the mirror, which is the cause of that reflection must be clean. If the mirror is not clean, or instead of mirror a stone is there, the sun's reflection will not be seen in it. In the same way, that may look disturbed who has not yet become clean like mirror, so that he can see the God's reflection within himself. Although the sun is seen taking different shapes on the ripples of flowing water, he is steady at his place and it is only his reflection that changes its shape. Similarly, the reflection of Spirit appears to be absent or it just shines for a moment and disappears, in the person who is full of sin and wickedness or whose heart is loaded with false ambitions and desires. It thus entails that all these - body, mind, intellect, ego etc. that we know, should be converted into a mirror. (18.08.1979, Delhi) 

Importance of Attention
Spirit is never disturbed or destroyed. Only human attention, in pursuit of desires, leaves its inner path. This is illusion. She (the illusion entering our path) has been intentionally created. Without her the attention would not have developed. You should not be afraid of illusion and should recognize her so that She will illuminate your path. Cloud hides the sun as also makes it seen. In the same way once the illusion is identified she moves aside and the sun is seen. The sun is always there but what is the purpose of cloud? Because of cloud you have an urge to see the sun, which shines for a moment and again hides somewhere. It gives strength and courage to your sight to see the sun. (Mithya, 05.05.75) 

Kundalini energy and our Chakras
Kundalini energy that is residing in us has been placed in us by God and has been created by His desire. Kundalini energy creates our mirror, develops it and cleans it. Slowly She (the motherly and soothing spiritual energy within us) makes it capable of receiving in itself the reflection of Spirit. In Sahaja Yoga you know that awakening of Kundalini is very easy and spontaneous. But Sahaja Yogis must know that they have come to Sahaja Yoga primarily to clean their mirror, to wash their sins and past deeds, to become purified of all the dirt that has been accumulated within from time immemorial. They have not come to collect sins and dirt, but to become pure. Many Sahaja Yogis are aware that Kundalini is that current which passes through their Chakras and awakens their Chakras. When the light comes on your Chakras you can know their condition even on your fingertips. This is the knowledge. This alone is to be known. So far the knowledge that you have had was not enlightened. There was no light in it. Now because of the light, you can know which of your chakras have problems. There is a way to clear the Chakras of those problems;
how to do it is also taught in Sahaja Yoga. You cannot see the filth so long as there is no light. It is not visible in the dark. You will see it when light illumines within you. So the first object is, to accomplish the light, to what people call - achieving the truth or knowing the truth. First we should know the truth and in the truth we initially come to know what our qualities are. In Sahaja Yoga, man easily accepts his faults, because he can see them in the light. (18.08.1979, Delhi)  

source: http://www.sahajayoga.ca/sahajapath/200409/index.htm

Milky way : )

The milk Lady : )

She said
i love you and always have

He said
It is me who was here and there
in your dreams or in your visions

I say
but who are you?
Are you the same? 

i do not know
but i am so happy
that you saw me while no one else did
and i saw that you saw me
this is why i love you : )

Hu

Today, i learned
that there is no one
nothing to aim for

even if you project it
and it exists for you
there is indeed like a transparent glass
between your projection and yourself

why?

because you are always one
alone
you came to this world alone
and you will depart from it alone

in the meanwhile most fall into the trap
and think they can have or behave for a certain purpose

but very few wish to be
and when you ARE
then you realise that you are alone

on the spot you may find the idea odd
but when the baby is born
his loneliness brings joy all around
that is the true state to be considered
when talking of loneliness
it is nothing depressing

it is to learn to get intune with this inner ever-present discipline
this inner power
the same that makes waves of sea move so harmoniously
harmonious in sound and movements

that same kind of inner power is hidden in us
and we just need to attune to it
so it is not about "wanting" it with our mind
and with confused wishes and purposes
nor does one need an external power to sustain us for it

the most beautiful way, is :

the UNSOUGHT SPONTANEOUS PERFECTION

it is like it is pointing to your inner calmness
where this power lies dormant
and already is enjoying itself
but as our attention is caught up in the outskirt of the tornado
the silence within cannot become a source of delight

the UNSOUGHT SPONTANEOUS PERFECTION

isn't it THIS the real promise already existing in us?

Hu : is the Universal Sound emitted by everything around,
even the pigeon : )

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Shakespeare Sonnet 116
Sonnet 116 Let me not to marriage of true minds admit impediments.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments. Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove: O no! it is an ever-fixed mark That looks on tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to every wandering bark, Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken. Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks Within his bending sickle's compass come: Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, But bears it out even to the edge of doom. If this be error and upon me proved, I never writ, nor no man ever loved. William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

source : http://www.albionmich.com/valentine.html

 I love this sonnet.

I love this poem
the first time i read it
i was so happy to see
that such writer and similar people
to whom he was giving voice
had felt that kind of Love
so that his very writing
was testifying for the existence of such a Love.

like such voices were still alive
and their presence
was the proof of that True Love.

the marriage of true minds
Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds
but is an ever fixed star
to every wandering bark
whose worth unknown,
though its height be taken

it looks on tempest
never to be shaken





how our own experience
may near such Love?

the closest example i found today
is the Innocence.

before i used to say
if only it was possible to regain innocence.

because i used to feel that
once we have grown up
time has left its mark upon us
and it is too late to even dream of innocence.

whatever you may do
you will ALWAYS have the mark of time
upon you
such as memories
which have by their very presence cancelled innocence in you.
too late.

so the only way to regain innocence
would be to erase all memory of your experiences in yourself
and erase yourself from people's mind.

i honestly looked for that.
could such a method exist?
and was it possible to regain innocence?
while by definition innocence
is something that is ONLY the initial nature
(so a return to it is impossible!
if you have lost it , it is impossible to regain it).

that used to be my conviction.

and yet!
one day i saw the face of a person
who had GAINED in innocence
how was it possible to GAIN innocence?
that was in TOTAL contradiction with the trend of life!

his face had been completely radiating SAME innocence
that a baby face does!
it was like he had found the face of innocence
as when he was born.
and this innocence was increasing with time on his face
and his manners were also becoming softer
so was his speach.

that was amazing for me.

that is when i gained hope
yes, innocence CAN be regained!




so before i could witness
but not understand the source of this change.

now, i can understand the source of this change,
and : ) do miss seeing such faces around me.

for these faces
are a living testimony
of a true desire of a person for God.
what else?
if not for True Love?

Today,
i learned that
the innocence,
Bless be the name of God,
i am so happy
i have to digress again,

do YOU REALISE?
one CAN REGAIN INNOCENCE
WHILE BY DEFINITION
i used to think once lost, it IS LOST.

: ))


so
innocence is this center of energy in us,
which  get more and more unclouded from
that which was not innocence in us

like the sun which was never gone
but only dark clouds had to be removed
so that sun may be seen again shining

this is why it appears that a person
becomes more and more innocent.
in reality the innocence was always there
but it was just clouded

the most important for this
is
to follow the path towards this goal
and that is
not to seek faults/criticism of others

for we are just using out cunning wits
to thicken the clouds in us
while we could just let them go
with the wind

when the wind lead us to meet people
it is for us a helpful test
for "they" are just our INSIDE projection
we project them
and their opinion of us becomes what we believe "who we are"
so we are enclosed in a mutual projection

while if ON THE SPOT
we realise
that they are our own inner projections

then as a wise person
we will not try to bend the spoon
for it is impossible (matrix)

for the outside being a projection of the inside
it canNOT be changed
so how can one fix them?
by fixing ourselves inside.

so to change ourselves inside
means
to KNOW ON THE SPOT
with an ACUTE ATTENTION:
I KNOW that they are me
so i LET GO. and FORGIVE.

Let them forgive and OVERLOOK. Do you not wish Allah to forgive you {and overlook your faults}? (God is forgiving and merciful.)
Quran [24.22]

What are you looking at the straw in your brother’s eye for? And the beam in your own eye, do you not notice it?” (Luke 6:41)
-jesus peace be upon him.

it means that the straw/defect
we are seeing in others
are just pointing into our own defect inside

if we CAN SEE it outside
it means it is INSIDE of us

and the inside can be healed
we can heal ourselves
if we ON THE SPOT
WHEN WE FACE IT
SEE IT
(for it is being shown for this purpose! what else?)
ONCE we KNOW it THEN we let go.

it is the dramatic moment
where either you LET GO
and let the wind carry it out AWAY from YOU
and you are joyful again

or you FEED IT with your power of attention
and make it grow.

so being happy to be able to let go
and thus purifying thereby our attention.
this is HOW God forgive us
when we forgive others.

and we can return as children do to our joyful
and playful activities.


so in a way,
this is the meaning of TEST
being testing by God
means a practical test for YOU
for your OWN self to judge
if you see defect or not in the other
if so,
instead of coming to the silly and unuseful conclusion
that you can change someone
and that they are the bad ones and i am better

JUST TURN INSIDE
ON THE SPOT SAY YOU SEE IT IN YOURSELF
AND FORGIVE

and as children do
return to your joyful play.


written like this
it sounds so easy

but it can become so
with real practice
when we learn to attune to your inner presence
on the very spot.

and like this
you honor yourself
and you honor the other in yourself
and you honor yourself in the other

it is how "marriage of true minds" occur.
it is how your pure love alters not, when it alteration finds
and this is why it is like an ever fixed mark
this is why its height can be taken
by its strength and courage to forgive
where one can use the easy and unproductive way of jumping and lashing out at the "other"

indeed, it is how one look on tempest
never to be shaken

as for the "worth unknown"
the worth of such a person
may indeed remains unknown to blind ones
except for those who love each other for the sake of Truth.


like a last cry for Humanity to testify
for this True Love :

"if this be error
and upon me proved"

"i never writ,
nor no man ever loved."

 

 

 

 

 

Grace of God

when i was a child
and used to walk on grass
at some point i wondered may be i was hurting them with my weight
so i stepped aside

when i stepped aside i was standing on peebles
and thought i may be hurting them too

then i wondered : ) at this rate i will never be able to walk anywhere

so i gazed at the grass and at the peebles
as if i was inside them
and said to myself what if i could be them?
how would it feel like to see the world from the inside?

But once, in dream i saw that i was really a seed,
i was really a flower blooming
i was it as much as you could feel wind on your face
it was that real
i could see myself growing on a stem and swinging in the wind
as a fragile flower does.

Seeking certainty,
how could i one day say with certainty
that this way i am on is the Truth?
that this is my guarantee?

where would be the standard of purity that i would use for that?

Today, i remembered
that nature is where one feels good
all is good in nature
you don't even need a standard
because already surrounded by all goodness
that you do not need to discriminate
so what standards are for?

but when you live in a human made world
you need a standard to discriminate
that which is heavenly from that which is not.
why so?
because here everything is mixed up
every need
every level
every kind of profile and hunger for Life.

Because everyone is an individual (soul)
though he is part of the whole (spirit)

as you view Life, God (Al Hayy = The Living)
so will you serve Him.

In Truth God is not in need of "service"
He does not need you to "worship" Him
nor He is a God who wish to Trade
worship vs livelihood
to gain something for His Glory

this any believer would agree
yet, this is how most think of God
because their worries and their deeds speak for them
though their tongue may utter something else.

their tongue when it utters something else
is in a way calling them to try a new way
if you grasp it
then may be you may dig your way to this new vision of life
and make it grow

but if you come back to your sleep
and grow NOT in your way of viewing God possibilities to Give you
then you will remain stuck in this vision you have of Him.

Is it not said, I am as my servant imagine Me?
why not imagining a God different from giving us the role of a
Slave, or of a Tradesman ?

Imam Ali [as] said: Verily, some people worshipped Allah being desirous (Of His reward) – so this is the worship of traders; and some people worshipped Allah fearing (His punishment) – so it is the worship of slaves, and a group worshipped Allah in gratitude (to Him) so this is the worship of the free. (Nahju ‘I-balaghah) 

In our practical life, we prove by our desires, concerns of future and finally actions

How we think of Ar Rahman.

When i finished my studies

and looked ahead

i felt frightened 

because i was appalled

i saw my life like a routine

job, work, family, home

and start all over again 

generation after generation 

with the SAME concern.

then comes concern for children

and make them go through the same cycle:

study, work, competition

yes same pleasures here and there as well

but the pattern is same.

yet, 

we are individual

we have all our own set of joys

and according to your center of interest 

you will give all to it

of course if you want to have the role of establishing 

this routine 

then it is your joy and you go for it

but your children are not yours.

they are like the arrow on a bow

you help them accomplish their own joy as well

if you have the wish to live in that routine 

do it with joy

but do not see it as a burden 

where you should exchange and beg God for your survival

have some joyful and creative expectations

that the way to be given is not set in stone

and it could be given in a creative way to you

that you had not expected from Him.

why not?

like this you are not behaving like a slave to Him

Be a servant 

in the sense of turning your face to His 

Be a tradesman 

in the sense of giving your time and concern to Him

in exchange for a transformative way of viewing Life

finally, 

you view it with eyes filled with Love.

Love, no clue what it could be in a routine.

because we are always concern with timing and forms of the giving

never with the Grace with which it will be bestowed.

I am as my servants imagine Me.

Imagine your Lord without graceful ways

and see how your life will feel like.

Tense, with pressure and rough all the way till you get (or not) what you want.

it is not that people do not wish for Grace

it is that they do not expect it

so they do not imagine their God being so.

their vision is jailed in what their routine has taught them

so how to widen your vision?

how to purify it?

to clear it, 

so that you may see Grace?

may be by starting to meditate.

Today, 

for the first time i realised 

that indeed 

Certainty is tied to the witnessing of Grace.

Look at the rose opening : 

Is there any good or bad?

NO. 

because the process is heavenly 

not human.

Do you see any human hand opening the petals?

try to open them and you will damage the flower.

so if you open petals 

you do the "bad" thing. ok?

BUT 

if you Let the HAND of GOD 

to open the petals

they open with GRACE

it is an invisible Power, Hand

that opens it.

that is a Graceful Hand...

same is with a human being.

if you place yourself in this spot instead of the flower

and you LET this SAME power OPEN you

meaning, 

letting you BLOSSOM 

will you be hurt?

will you feel confused? 

will you try to say "wait, wait, that way is good, no that one is bad"?

it won't even occur to you to use your wit for it.

nor to give direction to God.

so what is this way of ignorance?

and placing it as a burden upon your own children?

of seeing the man-God relationship as separate?

or that in afterlife i will see Him...

that is so silly.

if He nourishes and opens a flower RIGHT NOW 

and TRANSFORM it with GRACE to a new life (yes after life) RIGHT NOW

THEN 

He can do same with me, with you, with ANYONE RIGHT NOW TOO!

what is religion except Love?

except having that religious, awesome feeling of being transformed

by the Hand of God?

could you SEE a Hand falling from heaven and opening the flower?

no. not according to your human physical way. 

meaning not as YOU would do.

come and open the flower with your bare hands.

but the Hand of God 

is the Pure Spirit

which is in your OWN heart

if you call upon it

feel it

and LET this very Gracious Power within 

MANIFEST itself

then you will BLOOM and BLOSSOM

with ease and Grace.

THAT is the promise of God.

He hold his promise for a "mere" flower

why won't it hold it for you?

while you have this acute consciousness of life at all level

you can perceive vegetal as well as animal forms

and other human forms...

so why on earth the SPIRIT won't serve your purpose of BEING?

why you have to close yourself up 

and your future generations as well

in that place where you imagine Him NOT to be?

"Has God forsaken this place?"
I love this quote. yes if you imagined Him having done so.

why you exile God to a far off Heaven?

while His Light is in you already?

why you CHOOSE not to feel it within?

NEVER God act against your desire.

Imagine Him forcing a petal to open?

NO, never.

instead, this would be the hand of man which will crash petals fine nervures

in order to open it.

in truth, 

the flower resists not, 

it, sort of,  "let go"

so that it may feel the spirit within her 

which knows when and how much she needs exact amount 

of sunlight, water, minerals to open

not more, not less, 

otherwise she may dry and die or get rotten and die

this spirit is your inside best well-wisher

you need to feel it to LET IT act

and THIS is Gracious guidance of your life

and in this there is no good, no bad

it just is.

because all different elements are gathered together for the flower to grow and open

they are all brought to a unity of purpose. 

where no one is less than the other

nor bad while others are better

while the transformation takes place

and the seed becomes a bud and then a flower.

it takes place RIGHT NOW and goes on, yes in an after life.

but isn't it above all wonderful?

that we have the SAME ability than the flower

to be honored by the Hand of God 

who will open us with Grace?

we JUST need 

to LET GO of all resistance

and submit

to the power of Grace within.

and THAT is the only certainty

that you can trust, indeed.

Thoughts...

You think you can reach Truth
using your mind
that you can grasp IT
lock it and it is done!
end of journey.

Yet, once you arrive at the end of the way
you see you reap nothing
because you still feel hungry
actually you are even more hungry
you are dying of hunger
you are may be even more confused
as to why each time you think
you are nearing it
it keeps slipping out of your hands
like a fish

it is like you found it
but it does not step towards you
so you step  towards it
but it remains still
and you wonder :
'but it is not how i imagined the encounter with Truth!'

where is the joy of it?
shouldn't it be like a torn garment which is being fixed again?
like when a fabric is torn apart
they are brought face to face and sewed together?
because they ARE from each other?

or may be it is the other version:
that when a magnet is broken in two,
its both sides never meet
and never become one
but each piece of magnet
should realise that he is the one
so that this has to be a path of loneliness

solution?

staying inside ?
what can one possibly find inside
that was not found till now?

and again when you see a novelty
you run towards it
thinking to find Truth
again the same mistake
you can grab it with your hands
and lock it
no, this time you will succeed!

and again a big hammer hit your head
and you realise you have been repeating
the same thing over and over
using your mind

that has become averse to you to turn inside
because you are too impatient
because you want to be active

but active for what?
playing with thoughts for what?
like for the clock it keeps turning
round and round
and it goes nowhere
and you are here like a silly person
running after the clock hands

no, again it is inside
wonder what could the inside has
that the outside has not ?

it is said stillness
or the unconditional eternal factor
named the Beauty inside, The bliss, The spirit.

but unless proven contrary
by the personal experience
i do not recognise it.

it has to be found
if i seek it
but why does it take eternity to find it?

so again, left with nothing
you have to start again.

"Thought -- to call it by a prouder name than it deserved -- had let its line down into the stream.  It swayed, minute after minute, hither and thither among the reflections and the weeds, letting the water lift it and sink it, until -- you know the little tug -- the sudden conglomeration of an idea at the end of one's line:  and then the cautious hauling of it in, and the careful laying of it out?  Alas, laid on the grass how small, how insignificant this thought of mine looked; the sort of fish that a good fisherman puts back into the water so that it may grow fatter and be one day worth cooking and eating."

"But however small it was, it had, nevertheless, the mysterious property of its kind -- put back into the mind, it became at once very exciting, and important; and as it darted and sank, and flashed hither and thither, set up such a wash and tumult of ideas that it was impossible to sit still.  It was thus that I found myself walking with extreme rapidity across a grass plot."
-Virginia Woolf 

Why keep trying?

AS LONG AS THERE IS AN UP DOWN IN YOUR
HEAD: OUTER DARKNESS
AS LONG AS YOU'RE IN THE WORLD OF YIN YANG
OUTER DARKNESS
IT TAKES A LOT OF PURIFICATION
PURIFICATION OF WHAT
PURIFICATION OF THOUGHT
PURIFICATION OF BODY
FREEDOM FROM ATTACHMENT

AND AFTER A LONG TIME OF GOING UP AND DOWN WITH-
OUT UNDERSTANDING WHY I WAS GOING UP AND DOWN
OR HOW TO STOP IT

[...]

The next highest or sixth realm is the World of Virgin Spirits. Here those sparks from the divine "Flame" have their being before they commence their long pilgrimage through the five denser Worlds for the purpose of developing latent potentialities into dynamic powers. As the seed unfolds its hidden possibilities by being buried in the soil, so these virgin spirits will, in time, when they have passed through matter (the school of experience), also become divine "Flames," capable of bringing forth universes from themselves....

The Theory of Rebirth teaches that each soul is an integral part of God, enfolding all divine possibilities as the seed enfolds the plant; that by means of repeated existences in an earthly body of gradually improving quality, the latent possibilities are slowly developed into dynamic powers; that none are lost by this process, but that all mankind will ultimately attain the goal of perfection and re-union with God.
-- The Rosicrucian Cosmo-Conception, by Max Heindel 

***

The daimons become reconciled in the one who has found himself, who is the source of all four streams, of the source-bearing earth. From his summit waters flow in all four directions. He is the sea that bears the sun; he is the mountain that carries the sun; he is the father of all four great streams; he is the cross that binds the four great daimons. He is the incorruptible seed of nothingness, which falls accidentally through space. This seed is the beginning, younger than all other beginnings, older than all endings.
-- The Red Book: Liber Novus, by C.G. Jung

 

SLOWLY ... SLOWLY ... IT DAWNED ON ME
NOW WHY DID I KEEP TRYING?
THE ANSWER IS VERY SIMPLE AND ALMOST ALL
OF YOU KNOW THE ANSWER ALREADY
THE ANSWER IS: ONCE THE SEED HAS
BEEN PLANTED
ONCE YOU HAVE BEEN BORN AGAIN
YOU DON'T HAVE
ANY CHOICE!

source : http://www.american-buddha.com/ramdass.snakepithumansuffer3.htm