suddenly you get amnesic as to what to do
life saving action is always on the spot yet.
vaguely, you remember to bring attention on top of head
and just watch the thoughts or the events as they come
you realise that your meditative attention span is no more than a few seconds
nothing really helpful
if you consider that the bigger the wave, the more lasting your attention should be.
so instead you have even to fight to keep a meditation mood
while already a good part of you is already gone somewhere else outside
trying to fix it
somehow you are in a horrible situation
with one foot on each side of a rift.
ideally, solution is to do that hour of walking meditation
to not fall for negative feelings
and somehow, remember you are the beauty within,
the pure spirit within.
and then project
as a child project his joy to receive what he wishes for.
but that is theory,
not true unless proven contrary by deeds.
it is very strange approach, that of life.
you forsake everything for Truth or perfect balance
and once you see a bit the way towards it
you have to go back to that which you left
to manifest it.
what's the point?
whole point was always to find the way of the Power within
where balance lies
to manifest your wishes thus in a sane way.
thing is that you have forgotten what your wishes are now.
