Wednesday 10 August 2016

Looking back at my life


I have to write
some Praise about Spirit
from my experience

again as i was flipping through old files
i realised
all that GOOD PRECIOUS GEM
MY NEW LIFE is

ALL THAT WAS BAD IN MY PAST LIFE

hardly nothing at first
except when i arrived by the end of the road
and could not see anything else
to help me grow spiritually

then
PAIN started
the pain of knowing something BEAUTIFUL exists as new world
but there is NO ONE WILLING TO HELP ME

the pain of
KNOWING THE SOLUTION IS THERE
even guessing is inside
YET BEING UNABLE TO GET IT

then
the emotions of pain
RECORDED IN CITTA/ in my consciousness
that kept popping up
every day
and even stronger
and making me ill to death

only God knows
how ill inside i was
as He healed me later

and then the pain
of knowing that FAMILY see the pain
but they think they are helping
by wanting you to be like them
YET THEY WERE JUST
IGNORANTLY BEING SELFISHLY UNCARING

cause is what you are
when you want others to look like you

in truth.

and what was GOOD
when SPIRIT POPPED UP IN MY LIFE

I gained health
I got saved from pain, and painful memories

cause i experienced how even strong spiritual teachers
are human being after all
and according to their selfishness they are not matching
what only your own SOUL can match
and that is TRUE SELF LESS CARE

i had realised how selfish a person could become
i realised how the HUGE issue of sufi was the EGO
speaking of Ego and yet not telling you that nothing is bad about ego
except that you are just missing the reality of your own true nature that is Spirit
and that could be revealed and remembered by you in a gentle way

instead of being mocked at
or creating some inside group elitism
illness that i also saw in the so called yogi organisation
rule of thumb organisation is a plea
stay away from it

once spirituality gets organised
be sure it will become some sort of sect at worse
and hold much limitation to your progress at best

groups and a teacher
YET are MOST important to create a GOOD ATMOSPHER
AS an INSPIRATIONAL GUIDELINE

cause it is what i partly miss nowadays

now my current limitation is
spirit does let you FREE
with your FREE WILL

but what i miss most
are real guidelines to feel inspired day by day
so that the next day i become a better version of myself than the day before

i feel i am missing
that motivation to wish for more
as i feel quite broken by what i saw so far of people behavior

what people most lack
is honesty, sincerity and the willingness to give others some space to be themselves and shine their own light

but truthfully speaking
i have no more wish to shine my light
cause i can let it shine
but no one really sees it
nor partake in it

at least
i am grateful that i have a good vision of myself when i look back
at what i was and what i am

now

Ameen.

Past and yet near


Time is a very bizarre experience

As i am doing some Spring Cleaning
lol better call it Summer cleaning now

and i was seeing all my past reminders of experiences
reports, writings, travels etc.
i realised is soooooo old
as if was another life time

and yet
when i think of my past
like school, college years, even 3 years ago
it is like was yesterday

Time is really a weird stuff

Waters of Illusion and the Witness State


This morning
as i woke up
i saw in a vision

that i was sitting
in a circle with other people
who were demi-gods

and in that circle
my cup was being passed from one to another
but i noticed
that they were pranking me
in the sense
that each of them
took like water or dust from behind his back
which was hidden
and replaced the water of my cup

and at the same time
i - i.e. my attention - who was in that water
or rather i would call it the plasma
changed "colors" or forms or object of attention
rather, the world, in the water changed
and my world that my attention was engrossed in/ or was living it changed as well..

at some point when
each time a new plasma was put in
it was as if i switched from one drama to another
or from one water to another
or from one issue/play to another
or from one world to another

and at some point i caught myself
from the outside/as a watcher
what was happening
they were the ONES doing it!

so

at some point
i said to myself
they are taking me for a stupid person?
how long they are going to make me turn in circle
while my attention kept following their drama
from one hand to another

so i blurted out
"now stop it, i know you are exchanging
my water with yours"

and then the guy
who was the demi-god in charge
said
"she is clever as she knows what was going on"

i wanted to slap him
just for having annoyed me with that game

end of vision

from what Spirit told me
this scene was about reincarnation
how we reincarnate from one life to another (waters)
and the cup being our true self
that i kept forgetting
and was hard to remember
as once you are "in" the water
you can't possibly look at yourself from the outside
unless you have developed this witness state

so in that terms
is an auspicious dream
as it means that it announces
the end of reincarnation
as i could see the trick
played by the demi-gods
who are somehow in charge of the rules of reincarnation

and that is
once you enter the game/matrix
then you play by its rules
and that is you accept to abandon
the knowledge of Who you are
to be able to play and experience the illusion

cause is antagonist state
by nature, spirit who KNOWS
can't be played by dramas
so if you KNOW you can't experience
as The Witness is by nature detached from the illusion

is only when you abandon
that Heavenly State of Witnessing and thus of experiencing pains and all
that you can be "in" the waters of the drama/experiences

but then
the whole game
is to REMEMBER who you are
that is that Witness
as you TRUE NATURE

i feel i have had enough visions
which explained me the rules of the game
and had enough of good dreams giving me glad tidings of the end of my reincarnation

would like that this be actualized
and experienced in real too...

cause i am not that PATIENT
i may end up slapping a demi-god in next vision

hahahaha
;)
kiss

Tuesday 2 August 2016

Eternal Love


To my Otherworldly Soul mate
Who has the Shiniest Soul
and the insanest Challenging Behavior






Lyrics

It's a beautiful feeling
What we got deep inside
We got a flame that will last forever
Together you and I

Such a rush of emotions
There's no way we can push it away
Cuz they'll never tear our love apart
Our bond will never break

Do you believe in the power
Of everlasting love
We can make it if we stay together
Our love is just enough

Promise me this forever
We'll always stay this way
We can start at the end of time
And do it all again

Oh my love
I'm all yours
And there will never be another one
‘cause I'm eternally yours
My heart's a flame
And it's burning in your name
Even through the sands of time
My love will always grow
And I won't let go

No matter if you're near of far
Our bond will never break

Promise me this forever
We'll always stay this way
We can start at the end of time
And do it all again

Oh my love
I'm all yours
And there will never be another one
‘cause I'm eternally yours
My heart's a flame
And it's burning in your name
Even through the sands of time
My love will always grow
And I won't let go

It's a beautiful feeling
We've got deep inside
And there will never be another one
‘cause I'm eternally yours
My heart's a flame
Such a rush of emotions
Burning in your name
We can't push it away
Even through the sands of time
My love will always grow
My eternal love

Riding the Boat of Breath ..


Such a nice sunshine...

Do you know why at times we feel toiling
making efforts to get things done?
and feel tired?

and at other times
there is no effort
you just do your stuff
it is smooth and flowing?

because it all depends on who rides the wave of your Breath

see?

Your breath is a given.
but there is a battle for it
among your soul who is the rightful owner of it
who has the full right to ride the Breath

and the others' pestering throughts
which are the alien entities
alien as in "not your soul"

so when you feel tired
is because these entities / thoughts
are battling to ride your Breath
and your body feels this battle
and it gets tired

but when your soul expression rides it
as it is the rightful owner of the Breath
it is all smooth and fast
like there is no time
and is Eternal Shipping to the Horizon of Life

and you breathe slow and deep and effortlessly.

But when there is attacks from thoughts
your breath quickens
because it is stolen by the other entities
they rush to ride the Breath

the more you breathe out
the more you die to the hands of other entities

this is why in meditation
naturally
your breathe slows down
cause your body gets in touch with its soul
and let the soul rides its rightful divinely provided boat of Breath

The Breath and the Soul



Right now
i am feeling such a vastness in belly
its upper part feels warm and joyfully fizzy
like when your pour some coca cola in glass?
lol and it feels popping up in joy ?

my belly feels same
right now

it is fizzily joyful
and feeling vast and warm
and that warmness is so much expanding
that it feels like my eyesight is also expanding

actually is the both ballons on top of head
reducing
removing themselves from your face
which make your vision expands

this is why the prophet muhammad
could see behind his back
as mentioned in hadith

or when he was being given birth
his mom at delivery could see pillars of some palace in syria or egypt
i don't remember so well

or when he received revelation from Angel Gabriel
he saw everywhere he turned only the Angel Face even at the Far off Horizon

cause is the vastness of the witnessing state of the Spirit
when you are getting out of your identification of your body
and witnessing your limitless existence
of the True Spirit

and while writing that
i feel so much love going up from the belly to the heart

it feels like the belly is a jar
filled with waters of love
and that this pool of loving waters
are streaming upwards
against the physical rules of the Gravity
which are pulling man soul even more on lower astral levels

and when that current of Love
or river or stream of Love goes upwards
it enters your heart
and the heart feels so full

and from the heart goes forth the Order of softness
reverberated back to the belly
and the belly feels even more warmness and fizzy love inside it

is a sort of self nourishing cycle

Self nourishing cycle
like in "nourishing the self/soul"
or like in "nourshing itself"

i guess i can only write
but unless one feels it
this has no comparison to read it from someone else

and i feel very much liberated inside

this happened
like i won a battle over myself

here is the story
over the past few days
i have been dealing with say average people
i.e. who are non realised beings
on a project of saveguarding animals

and during this project
there was the pro animals and the against
i was in charge of the pro side

thing is
i can quickly grasp people's thoughts and intentions
even when they don't speak
is very bewildering
because i know their subconscious "thoughts"
the thoughts they are not aware of

so i had a hard time
to not blame them for their ignorance
you may not realise it

but is hard
to know
and yet not to blame

because see?
people are ignorant
is not a negative word ignorant for me when i use it
is a factual word
ignorant means for me
that they truly ARE clueless about their subconscious prompting
and how their subconscious is affecting their conscious and thus their behavior
see?

prior to that knowledge
i used to feel driven to show people their behavior
in the hope that they want to change
supposing that they want to improve

but when yesterday
i saw this vision
i realised truly what was to LET GO

to LET GO for me now
stems from this vision

by the way
while i was writing this prior lines
i felt so much loving energy moving lovingly in my left swadhistan

such a GOOD LIVING FEEL
really...

lol so funny that a part of body, feels love?
so weird..

anyway
back to my vision ...

yesterday
i saw that each of my breath
i.e. when i breathe out
it was like a boat
an invisible boat to the eyes
and that boat was carrying "parts/expressions of my soul"

soooo beautiful and poetic
i found this vision was
is very refined see?
is like a soft petal of flower
upon which you see morning dew

is fresh, fragile and beautiful vision
you can only feel marvelled by it

so after this vision
my inner voice
explained me
not in sound but in images

that
your breath carries your soulful expression of what you want to give/share with Life
and it goes out of you in invisible format (to your eyes)
but then it is returned back to you..
and that time in a denser format
i.e. in what we call fate
so that you may experience what you sent out of you
back to you

see? how beautiful is that?
this is why what you give is what you receive

this is the boomrang effect

Gives good out of to Life
and Life or God will return it back to you 20 times more or in an unlimited way more

it is said so in the Hadith Qudsi
because the amount of what you give to God/Life
is equals to the sincerity of your desire when you breathed your Life out
ah i feel like dying of Love writing this
because i see it while i am writing it
is so beautiful

it feels like a lovely feathery dream
all soft and pretty

but see?
again, if you send out to Life
complains, anger and try to convince people to change their behavior
you are sending out the expression of your soul
so you are asking for Life to answer the request of your soul
which is to see an answer to your complain, anger and argumentation

in that case
Life ONLY reflects back like a mirror to you
what your soul sent forth as experience request

so then
i realised while being shown this

isn't it better
that i use my breath to EXPRESS what my SOUL REALLY DESIRE ?

you see
telling someone what you dislike and what you want them to change
is still not you
is your REACTION to others' presence/thoughts
so is you being a slave/prisoners' to others' thoughts/behavior
i.e. is you being a channel of reaction to their thoughts
so you are following others thoughts
expressing only opposition to their thoughts

see?
your breath is NOT carrying your SOUL DESIRE
your breath is ONLY carrying their thoughts

in that case
your breath is only stolen
by other entities
who are living through your breath
and you will get hit back by the very thoughts you opposed..

is a kind of self beating LOL
this is why the only person that hurts you is only yourself
and never the other

so beautiful vision of Life

is SO CLEAR TO ME NOW
THAT THERE IS NO ONE
EXCEPT MYSELF who decides how to live my life

same for EVERYONE ELSE
the ONLY difference being the AMOUNT OF SELF PRESENCE/REALISATION
in that breathing out your Soul Desire vs thoughts of others

and this is how
when i saw this

effortlessly
my inner opposition to these people's way of behaving and acting
just got dissolved ...

cause as i realised how the amount of breath is numbered within me
as once this number is gone
death of body arrives

so one better breathes out our soul/light
than useless thoughts that are not even my own light
it is how my own light is stolen away from me

as others' thoughts busy this "space/breath" initially given to my soul

the breath was initially the boat given to my soul to ride
so that it may experience Life back in forms
see?

so
all of sudden
i surprised myself
to see myself
just LETTING GO of what before used to bother me
and create opposition in me
resistance in me
readiness to jump for clearing up conflicts

cause it is not about caring about others
the whole stuff is about caring for your soul
when you care for your Soul to ride the Boat of Breath
then ....

ONLY THEN

YOU LET YOUR SELF SHINE
and this is HOW you are of help and care to others

SO BE YOUR SELF

Love and Kiss to my beloved readers'