so i woke up at 3am
and could not sleep again
so i lit candles and intended to start meditation
and of course
i got asleep
deep sleep :)))
in dream
at some point
i was talking to some yogis
to tell them openly in their face
how ridiculous they are
because the rule was
to say everything right now in their face
and NOT behind their back
after hearing it they do what they want
and me too i can move on
and it turned out to be a "moment of Truth"
so much that so many people gathered around me
so many there were that i had to stand on a chair to be able to talk
and see them or be seen
up there i saw some guy who was on the branch of a tree
and was about to fall
so i kind of quickly calculated how he could be saved
and how people could draw matelas to soften his fall.
instead
oh my gosh
some numbnuts brought a small truck
he fell into its mechanic
and was being worked out into pieces
like charlie Chaplin in his mechanics
if you saw this one
oh i just fell on my bed
and cried my heart out
because i got a nervous break down
how come it worked not out to save him
as i planned
then suddenly
a voice and the presence said
"do you still hang on the form?"
as when the voice said that
it was referring in telepathy to this accident
that i could see it again happening in my mind
so when i heard it
in all honesty,
i gathered all my mental force to say yes
because i could hear in my own mind
all the forms that exists
like bricks of consciousnesses
that one can manipulate
to make life better and save people
words of "economy, politics, religion ..."
and so on
came into my mind
so as they existed in my mind
i use them to think
to THINK of how to MOVE them
for my necessity
to HELP out
and soften the fall of a person
but i realised it was not true
because despite my hard work
he FELL horribly
then i struggled and was about to say yes again that
forms exist
but then, i surrendered and fell crying on the bed
and admited it is Formlessness
which is behind the fall of this young guy from the tree
and letting it goes mashed into the mechanics of this word
because it is not the forms
that can be powerfully present behind to move stuff
to save him
but only formlessness is that powerful living fabric encompassing him
and all that is (even this fall)
ah yes remember, when in a hadith God says even the falling of a leaf is in my awareness?
i guess this is what this very fall of the guy refered to when i finally admitted "only formlessness
is behind this".
but then,
the voice said
this time was a sort of different voice
like voice of a collective group of people
of a far off place i belonged to
"once upon a time"
(i guess i feel like calling it home)
that you are from that far off place
(i forgot the name ? anyway is a far off place )
and the people on earth are from this far off place named so and so
and they are all now on earth which is the place where people called so and so have been living
and that i should transmit the message
of the formlessness
then
bham!
all my mind
my attention
or my vision
was FILLED of a HUGE GREAT DARK (like in black, not negative connotation)
SILENCE
as if
that silence
was a HUGE LIVING BEING IN ITSELF
AND IT WAS SO HUGE
AND I WAS JUST FILLED IN VISION BY IT
and i saw a fine rain
falling on a white mist
which was filling up this Huge Living Being of Utter Silence/Darkness
which was filling up this HUGE SPACELESS LIMITEDNESS
FORMLESSNESS
i got afraid
because of how
so powerfully limitlessly and namelessly "Here" it is
so powerfully being ONE it was PRESENT
with nothing else
(la
sharika la = and HE has no associate - this is the meaning of the
testimony of Oneness by muslims that they AIM to reach. but comprehend
not in reality HOW TO. as they think they are ALREADY there. think if
you were already there as in the experience, not as in theory, for in
theory you are there. but you can't be there unless you REALISE you are
there. lol makes sense?)
and the fear
existed
because i felt inside
i knew it is here (like all do)
but on purpose i was doing all to not remember
because
who wants to remember its origin
which is this HUGE POWER
because i feel
the limited ego/personae (ego here is not negative, it points at the individual effort
to assert himself and exist as individual)
is afraid
to realise, know, remember
that it came from that Overpowering Oneness
and even now
when i try to remember this "Bham Silence One Powerful Being"
i feel it is very living Being
but could not comprehend
and now i do
it is dark because it's not
seen..by itself!
spirit vibrates billion
times a second
only in manifesting is it
,,seen,, that's the need of creation
so if it is so fast in
sound it is silence to ears
because beyond ear range
and for ears is unheard - hence the silence
yes..it
sounds like silence..yet is the source of everything
and beyond eyesight range
i felt like it was abyssal BEING of Silence
yes this is the right word
with no edge
no limit
thus no form
the sound of silence,, remember the
song?..lol
ah! it makes sense now!
i used to wonder why the word "sound" for the silence
because it is A HIGH RATE OF VIBRATION of SOUND
AND NOT A LACK OF SOUND
in a way it is a lack of sound in our LOW RANGE of sound
because ear cannot hear it due to its LIMITLESS
and i got on net you know..Richard Rose had the same
experience as mine?
when he got enlightened
he passed out
he saw himself on top of a mountain
and then saw so many people and among them himself!
trying to go up this mountain
so it struck him
but if this guy over there is me,
who is the one who is seeing him!
it is his attention who shifted out of his
body
so he could see his body and others too
the true self..!
and later he got his enlightenment!
and he got this vision
after he got a trauma
because he found out his girlfriend was a lesbian
got back home
started meditation
and got this vision
later enlightenment
so he learned it the hard way
with TRAUMA
this is WHY suffering HAS ITS USE
it FORCES YOU to turn inside and meditate
but if we wait to be OK
then no BREAK THROUGH of kundalini
what yogi forgets
play in manifestation
trying to beautify it by manifesting their spirit of Love
is ONE THING
and is JUST PLAY
an agreeable one but nevertheless PLAY.
of joy of up and down
of power play
of who is the "precious" group over the less important group
who is the "old" yogi over the "new" yogi
and so on
funny to LIVE as PLAY in MANIFESTATION realm (dunia as we call it)
call it heaven on earth in its best version
but TEMPORARY (hence dunia word)
but the ETERNAL BEINGNESS
is MORE GLORIOUS
WHEN YOU FIND YOUR TRUE ORIGIN WITHIN
that you are the LIGHT OF GOD WITHIN
so after play
there should be equally if NOT MORE
the serious desire and DRIVE to meditate intensively
alone AND in group
which sorry to say exist not at least in France
second
yogi confuse it(this goal) with the spirit at heart level,
which manifests ONLY LOVE
it is a lower level
then once the spirit ASCENDS
ABOVE heart
ABOVE mind
and is at the SAHASRARA level
THERE
the spirit is THE TRUE SILENCE
PEACE AND ALL
is THIS THAT A TRUE YOGI SHOULD AIM AT
it is MORE THAN THE PLAY
AND
wait
when i woke up
i was in that total silence
like in meditation
incredible impression of that power in which i was/am
and then
i remembered
when i used to be a student
once i dreamt
a gift box was laying down for me
inside i saw a dark space
when i put my hand to grab it
it was like a dark void
i could not touch it
it was just like space
and around it was a wrapper
with all the beautiful names of God on it
and a wind came and took that wrapper off away
and i started to run behind to fetch it back
then later on
i realised
as imam ali said in his Book of Eloquence
do not confound God/Allah/He who is
with His Attributes/beautiful name
for his Essence is Formlessness
(roughly it is how he said it)
yes very true
i was by then,
being shown in the gift box
this TRUE ESSENCE OF GOD
OF THE SPIRIT
which is dark because It cannot see Itself
and eyes cannot see due to Its high rate of vibrations
and this formlessness is the gift promised to me:)
and by then, i was running after the beautiful qualities of the spirit
manifesting the beautiful Names of God/Allah
another vision i remember
once during that same period of time
i was praying (doing the salah)
and reading the verse of Sincerity (surah Ikhlas)
it is called the chapter of Sincerity
and it speaks of He WHO IS
THE ETERNAL ONE
and again
i got the vision
that i was being in the presence
of a Living Breathing
Dark Wall
imagine
by then i knew not
but now,
all fall together
and it makes sense
finally.
so yes :) i am happy
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2015
I AM ON MY WAY TO ENLIGHTENMENT
:)))
ah! incredible
look at the first words
SONG sound of silence
featured on the album "wednesday 3am"!
ah! can we make it more coincidential than that!
in the night of wednesday to thrursday at 3am too! i got my Sound of Silence Vision
hehehehe
tooo cool!
kiss:x;)
